Small Restaurant Reception

chris0613

Me and my fiance are having a small reception at a restaurant with only about 20 people. Now from what I read everyone has a menu for theirs and since it's only our closest friends and family we wanted to just use a private room in a restaurant and leave the menu open. Now as far as who's paying I'm a little iffy on. Would it be better  to cover the bills of all the guests or maybe just part. Never done or been to anything like this but our friends seemed to love the idea! I just don't want to seem rude by not buying their dinner.

AmoroAgain

No matter the size of the reception, you should ALWAYS pay for everyone's meal.  My H and I also had a restaurant reception with about 60 people.  It's a great idea, imo, to keep things intimate, but size is no definition of the amount of amenity you should provide your guests. 

If you can/want, you can limit the selections available to the guests, so you know that the bill can't be completely sky rocketing.  We offered a beef burgundy, salmon and then a gnocchi for the vegetarian guests, and that helped us have a really good working estimate of what our bill would end up being, and it was actually lower than we had anticipated.

sep72fendr

You can ask the restaurant to put together a limited menu, or even scope the restaurant out beforehand and pick the items you want on there so you can stay within your budget and just print out the options on some nice cardstock or something and use them as menus :-)

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_small-restaurant-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dccfb501-72d9-407e-8be1-b182d0acf99ePost:0bae1088-d449-41c8-b39a-e2137cd8b2bf">Small Restaurant Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Me and my fiance are having a small reception at a restaurant with only about 20 people. Now from what I read everyone has a menu for theirs and since it's only our closest friends and family we wanted to just use a private room in a restaurant and leave the menu open. Now as far as who's paying I'm a little iffy on. Would it be better  to cover the bills of all the guests or maybe just part. Never done or been to anything like this but our friends seemed to love the idea! I just don't want to seem rude by not buying their dinner.
Posted by chris0613[/QUOTE]

Yep. What Amoro said.

marisah83

You definitely need to pay for everyone's meals.  I agree with the pp's and suggest a limited menu so that no one orders the most expensive thing possible.

LP11509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_small-restaurant-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dccfb501-72d9-407e-8be1-b182d0acf99ePost:129cb78d-6096-46a3-97ac-c624c2eeda0c">Re: Small Restaurant Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]You can ask the restaurant to put together a limited menu, or even scope the restaurant out beforehand and pick the items you want on there so you can stay within your budget and just print out the options on some nice cardstock or something and use them as menus :-)
Posted by sep72fendr[/QUOTE]

This is what my ILs did for our rehearsal dinner and it really helped them to have a good estimate of the cost.

ETA: One way or another, you definitely need to pay for their entire meals.

katiewhompus

Ditto Amoro. If this is your reception then you need to pick up the bill for all of your guests, same as having a non-restaurant venue reception. You can limit the menu so you can get a price range and determine if you want an open bar or limit drink choices as well.

bellebride116

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_small-restaurant-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dccfb501-72d9-407e-8be1-b182d0acf99ePost:129cb78d-6096-46a3-97ac-c624c2eeda0c">Re: Small Restaurant Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]You can ask the restaurant to put together a limited menu, or even scope the restaurant out beforehand and pick the items you want on there so you can stay within your budget and just print out the options on some nice cardstock or something and use them as menus :-)
Posted by sep72fendr[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto! But, def pay for everyone. </div>

Beachy730

Absolutely pay for all of it.  What is the menu like at the restaurant?  Do the meals have a big price range, or are they all relatively similar?  If there are really expensive meals (like a $60 surf and turf) and the like, then I would probably do a limited menu.  You could work it out with the restaurant and print your own menus out however you want them to look.

if the meals are all relatively similar in price though, I would just let them order what they want.  Do you have a budget for the dinner?  If you do, you could divide that by 20, or whatever your total amount is, and use that as a judge for what each person can spend between food and drink.  Then compare it with the menu and make a decision.  As for alcohol, I think this is a much better situation for you to "know your crowd."  Do you have wine or beer drinkers?  You could do bottles of wine on the table and then let them choose like 3 beers to order or something.

chris0613

alright yeah that was kind of what I figured. The prices aren't huge so it shouldn't be a problem to let them order whatever they want, I don't like the limited menu because I'm a lot more open to rather let our guests eat what they like rather then set menu. We're also providing an ice cream cake! We think it's a unique idea and who doesnt love ice cream

AmoroAgain

I don't like ice cream.   No, really, I don't, but the I've heard of the ice cream cake being done before, and you can't worry about everyone!

chris0613

Oh well you shot down my unique idea =P but I asked if everyone pretty much was alright with ice cream cake and everyone seemed to love it

Beachy730

I love ice cream cake, but hate any cake with fruit filling.  Which lots of people really like.  I wouldn't worry too much about pleasing everyone with the cake type or flavor.  We did funfetti with white chocolat mocha filling since thats my favorite cake ever, and we had no idea how it would go over.  But everyone loved it.  Personally, I would probably eat 3 pieces of ice cream cake if it was at a wedding.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_small-restaurant-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dccfb501-72d9-407e-8be1-b182d0acf99ePost:02c7c65e-ba23-41f5-a4ff-22a12ed55a2a">Re: Small Restaurant Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh well you shot down my unique idea =P but I asked if everyone pretty much was alright with ice cream cake and everyone seemed to love it =)
Posted by chris0613[/QUOTE]
No worries.  I was just making a side comment really.  I'm a freak who doesn't like ice cream.  I get it.  Besides, it's not like people are going to tell a bride to her face that they don't like an idea she's had.

mwhitson14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_small-restaurant-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dccfb501-72d9-407e-8be1-b182d0acf99ePost:bc4586a8-eb96-4067-80d5-d8dad80ed0a8">Re: Small Restaurant Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Small Restaurant Reception : No worries.  I was just making a side comment really.  <strong>I'm a freak who doesn't like ice cream.</strong>  I get it.  Besides, it's not like people are going to tell a bride to her face that they don't like an idea she's had.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

::points and laughs::

Really though, I like ice cream cake but I've always wondered how this would work for a wedding. Our cake was sitting out a good hour before we got around to cutting it, so I never really understand how it works for an ice cream cake. They melt so fast!

AmoroAgain

chris0613

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_small-restaurant-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dccfb501-72d9-407e-8be1-b182d0acf99ePost:bc4586a8-eb96-4067-80d5-d8dad80ed0a8">Re: Small Restaurant Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I I'm a freak who doesn't like ice cream.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

Aww you're not a freak =) Trust me there are weirder things to not like heh =)

ExpatPumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_small-restaurant-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dccfb501-72d9-407e-8be1-b182d0acf99ePost:c67c3e9d-4744-4f79-ac5d-af1d6f230044">Re: Small Restaurant Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Whit: This is how a wedding that my BIL was in did DQ ice cream cakes. They just had their topper & serving set out, and then just before they cut the cakes, put them on the table. (oh, did I mention that this was also a "Disney" themed wedding, and the bride gave birth 2 Saturdays after the wedding? I try not to judge, but sometimes... it's so hard) But, in OP's case with only 20 guests, I'm guessing the issue of putting out the cake would be less of an issue.
Posted by mrs.jesse[/QUOTE]

That bride looks AMAZING for being two weeks from giving birth!