Indesisive on an Invite

NCRConley

I'm looking for advice on a decision that I have to make on an invite, and if anyone has a suggestion that would be great! The back story being that I was introduced to my fiance by at the time my best friend and her husband, I was fully aware that he was previously married and that didn't bother me. When he asked me to marry him the first person I called with the amazing news was her, expecting nothing less then excitement and congrats. Instead she says to me " REALLY! Is he sure he wants to make that same mistake again...?" I was furious! After a few weeks of not talking I gave her a chance to explain her comment and she said it was ment exactly that way, needless to say I haven't spoken to her since. My problem now is that my fiance is very good friends with her husband and really wants to invite him. What do I do?

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_indesisive-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ddb99d8e-fcb8-4804-b387-3c9c8457bde1Post:108483bc-209c-4d7d-bcf4-453a7899fdfc">Indesisive on an Invite</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm looking for advice on a decision that I have to make on an invite, and if anyone has a suggestion that would be great! The back story being that I was introduced to my fiance by at the time my best friend and her husband, I was fully aware that he was previously married and that didn't bother me. When he asked me to marry him the first person I called with the amazing news was her, expecting nothing less then excitement and congrats. Instead she says to me " REALLY! Is he sure he wants to make that same mistake again...?" I was furious! After a few weeks of not talking I gave her a chance to explain her comment and she said it was ment exactly that way, needless to say I haven't spoken to her since. My problem now is that <strong>my fiance is very good friends with her husband and really wants to invite him. What do I do?</strong>
Posted by NCRConley[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>In this case, you suck it up and invite them together.</div><div>
</div><div>What she said was really terrible, but if you FI really wants to invite her SO, I'd do it.</div><div>
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annakb8

If your FI wants to invite her husband I'd probably just go with it. What she said was undoubtedly rude, but I don't think your FI and her husband should be punished for that. Does your FI know what she said?

daveANDkristen

Invite them both.  They are a couple, they need to be invited together. 

rebarobert2012

Well, if you invite him, you are going to have to invite her, too.  I think that this is something that you and your fiance will need to discuss.  I completely understand why you are upset and offended by her comment.  Maybe if she really feels that way about the engagement, she would decline the invitation anyway?

ceh789

Try to feel sorry for her.  It must be horrible to go through life that socially inept.

You need to let your FI invite his friend and they're a package deal.  Fortunately there will be enough other people at the wedding that you won't have to spend much time thinking about her at all.

jessicabessica

If your FI really wants to invite the husband, invite them as a couple.  If your ex-BF really doesn't support your wedding, she should decline to attend.  If she comes anyway, take the high road and smile for the 10 seconds you interact with her, and forget about her. 

However, that is such a weird comment.  If I was best friends with someone that said that, I would want to know why.  Have you actually asked her why she said that?  Is there some reason she is unhappy and down on marriage in general?  Does she think you and your FI are not good together for some reason? 

NCRConley

She has trouble in her marriage at times and my FI says it's just jealousy.

NCRConley

I told him right away as I vented to him after I got off the phone, he couldn't believe it! She has had a history of saying little things through out my relationship with my FI, I always just shrugged it off cause at times she was unhappy with her marriage. This comment however and the conversation we had after so she could explain was all I could take.