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Too many showers

elizabeth121985elizabeth121985
10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Is it offensive to turn down an invite to a friend's shower because I cannot afford to spend any more money on gifts for her?

I'm in this dear friend's wedding and have already spent the following amount: $200 to throw her a shower with another BM, $221 on the dress (not including alterations), $67 on lingerie for a shower, and $43 on another shower gift.  Not to mention her wedding is a destination wedding and a hotel room for 2 nights will cost my fiance and I $850.

This is the third shower for her that I've been invited to and I simply can't afford yet another gift for her.  But I would feel rude showing up without anything.  Do I say why I can't come, or do I go without a gift?
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Re: Too many showers

  • Habs2HartHabs2Hart member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    if you'd like to go without a gift, I'm sure she'll understand.  A lot of bridesmaids go to all the showers, but they don't have to buy a gift, they just go as the support system. 

    If you don't want to go, decline the invite, but you're fine to go best wishes only.
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  • midgetthemightymidgetthemighty
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    It is typical for BM and mothers of the bride and groom to be invited to all showers thrown for the bride. If I'm not mistaken, you only have to bring a gift to one. You also don't have to go to each one, but if you're only not going because you think you have to bring a gift, you should go and not bring one. If you have something else going on that day and can't make it, then don't go to the third shower.
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  • slwagerslwager
    100 Comments
    no one will notice you didn't bring a gift-go if you want to, but if you won't enjoy it you have certainly put forth enough effort!
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  • elizabeth121985elizabeth121985
    10 Comments
    thanks for the feedback ladies!  i appreciate it :)
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  • hlq2011hlq2011
    1000 Comments
    My BM didn't bring a gift to the first shower of mine that she attended, and it wasn't until later that I realized she hadn't.  No one else noticed, though she did tell my stepmother and MOH that she was shipping something to me (which was kind of her, since it was OOT for me).

    You're totally okay to not bring a gift.
    image
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  • noodle_oonoodle_oo member
    1000 Comments
    Yeah, I think you've given more than enough.  If you want to go, go.  You do'nt have to bring a present.  If you are uncomfortable going without a present, than yes you can skip it.
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  • dianenjnjdianenjnj member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
    you don't need to bring another gift...go, and enjoy yourself.
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