groomsmens girlfriend: to invite or not to invite?

emilymae85

We made a rule across the boards on guests at our wedding: only those who are married or are engaged are allowed to bring thier significant other, as this was specified on the appropriate invitations (Mr. and Mrs. or Joe Smith and Lisa Doe). We have college age friends that have the notorious and annoying off-again-on-again every other week significant others; they fight constantly and it gets ugly, so we decided that we wanted to avoid that all together.
One of the groomsmen has a girlfriend he has been dating a while. They live together, but are not engaged to be married or anything. My only problem is that I absolutely cannot stand this girl. When my man and I first started dating, she went out of her way to try and sabotage things. Not only that, but she is a total attention-seeker and my bridesmaids and I that know her first hand are very confident that she would try to steal my show.
I'm at a loss for what to do with this situation! i want to be etiquette-minded but I absolutely do not want this girl at my wedding. Hey boyfriend is a very nice guy and one of my fiance's best friends and I don't want to upset him, but I also do not want to risk my wedding day being all about her, as I know she will attempt to do.

Help!!

LarissaAnn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmens-girlfriend-invite-not-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:de5a6f74-7ef0-4804-bcec-d79484d3de3ePost:7c29d5bb-3a49-43c8-a2f3-b4f4941aee37">Re: groomsmens girlfriend: to invite or not to invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]Proper etiquette is that all people who are married, engaged, living together, or in a significant relationship should be invited with their partner, as they are a social unit. And if you're going to let one silly person ruin your entire wedding, it's not your groomsman's girlfriend who needs the attitude adjustment.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]
This, exactly.<div>
</div><div>And I promise, she can turn cartwheels down the aisle and strip in the middle of the dance floor.  If you're in the big white dress, the attention's on you.</div>

ohwhynot

Cew:  maybe this:

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmens-girlfriend-invite-not-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:de5a6f74-7ef0-4804-bcec-d79484d3de3ePost:87bf81ab-62ea-4bcf-99df-8a7da0e993fc">Re: groomsmens girlfriend: to invite or not to invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]Cew:  maybe this:
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

Hahaha that's awesome. I think if somebody did that at my wedding, I would want pictures.

ZoeTheDog

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmens-girlfriend-invite-not-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:de5a6f74-7ef0-4804-bcec-d79484d3de3ePost:a45112ac-f53d-4bc1-b5b9-9916310bfad0">Re: groomsmens girlfriend: to invite or not to invite?</a>:
[QUOTE] in the words of balki bartakamous, dont be ridiculous. she needs to be invited.
Posted by tannymcgee[/QUOTE]

"COUSSSIN LARRRRY!"  AHH I hearted that show...FI was just making fun of me for that the other day!!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmens-girlfriend-invite-not-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:de5a6f74-7ef0-4804-bcec-d79484d3de3ePost:87bf81ab-62ea-4bcf-99df-8a7da0e993fc">Re: groomsmens girlfriend: to invite or not to invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]Cew:  maybe this:
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

So, are we thinking she would do it in the bikini? Would she wear the bikini under her dress? Where would she change? Would she just strip down the aisle? Would there be special music? I have so many questions.

golden1215

You could always keep your fingers crossed that they break up by then....

But invite her.  I know it sucks, but its the right thing to do.

My good friend's fiance (husband by the time our wedding rolls around) and my FI SERIOUSLY do not like each other.  I wouldnt be surprised if they get into a fist fight one of these days because there is just so much tension.  And we are having a tiny 30 person wedding so its not like they can just be seated on opposite sides of a ballroom... but he is invited nonetheless.

Now, if the guy gets a new girl by the wedding, even though most people say all BP need a 1+, I personally wouldnt feel obligated to invite a couple that was together less than 4-6 months.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Living with someone IS a seriously relationship. I would have been PISSED if one of my close friends wanted me in their wedding but didn't want to invite FI back when we were still "just" living together, rather than engaged. Disrespecting another couple's relationship is a great way to celebrate your marriage.

michaela48

I lived with fiance for 3 years before we got engaged. Our relationship was just as significant as friends who were already engaged or married. You need to invite the SO. Otherwise expect a rift in the friendship between your fiance and his groomsmen.

Worrying about someone stealing your thunder on your wedding day sounds crazy and immature. Stop creating drama

squirrly

Living together counts.  She needs an invitation. 

And - what she might try to do has nothing to do with what other guests will notice or care about from her.  If it's bad enough, have security remove her. 

But - she gets an invitation.

polichik

I'm sorry that she rubs you the wrong way, but you really do need to invite her.

It would help if you let us know what exactly you're worried about her doing, so we can see if there's anything you can go do prep. I mean, is she going to show up in a thong and nipptle tassles? Because that could be a conversation to have with the groomemen she's dating. Is she really freaking gorgeous and going to wear a drop-dead-sexy dress? Because nobody will care, and they'll still be looking at you. You're the bride, man. Guaranteed focus.

tannymcgee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmens-girlfriend-invite-not-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:de5a6f74-7ef0-4804-bcec-d79484d3de3ePost:2f093d1f-3313-4674-bf40-730fb224738e">Re: groomsmens girlfriend: to invite or not to invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: groomsmens girlfriend: to invite or not to invite? : I don't know you, but I love you for this.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

really?  thanks!

it was between that and "in the words of growing pains, dont waste another minute on your crying," but with the passing of boner... too soon.  too soon.

kaitm22

I have a situation very similar to this, and the girl is a total drunk...Im keeping my fingers crossed that they break up. luckily I have 7 months

mags0607

Unless she does this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6lbPwF5G70&feature=related she will not steal your show.

PS: she needs an invitation anyway.

jena.n.ross

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmens-girlfriend-invite-not-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:de5a6f74-7ef0-4804-bcec-d79484d3de3ePost:7c29d5bb-3a49-43c8-a2f3-b4f4941aee37">Re: groomsmens girlfriend: to invite or not to invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]Proper etiquette is that all people who are married, engaged, living together, or in a significant relationship should be invited with their partner, as they are a social unit. And if you're going to let one silly person ruin your entire wedding, it's not your groomsman's girlfriend who needs the attitude adjustment.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

<div>THIS.</div><div>
</div><div>FI and I lived together for 4.5 years before we got engaged.  I'd have been very offended if one of us had been invited to a wedding, and the other wasn't.  </div><div>
</div><div>It stinks that she's an AW, but she can't steal your thunder; fear not. :)</div>

jazmarie718

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmens-girlfriend-invite-not-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:de5a6f74-7ef0-4804-bcec-d79484d3de3ePost:87bf81ab-62ea-4bcf-99df-8a7da0e993fc">Re: groomsmens girlfriend: to invite or not to invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]Cew:  maybe this:
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]
<p> </p><p> </p><p>This is really funny!</p>

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_groomsmens-girlfriend-invite-not-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:de5a6f74-7ef0-4804-bcec-d79484d3de3ePost:a2c06fb1-3fe2-420e-9a83-594ce03448bc">Re: groomsmens girlfriend: to invite or not to invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: groomsmens girlfriend: to invite or not to invite? :     This is really funny!
Posted by jazmarie718[/QUOTE]

5 months later....