reserved seating?

scissotron

im not sure if this is the right place to post, but i had a question about reserved seating.

im assuming parents sit in the front rows usually for the ceremony, right?

also, what about the reception?  we're just having a free-for-all, no sort of seating plan reception, but i never thought about this until now.  where do parents and stuff sit?  should they have a special table reserved for them?  should it be by the head table?  what about spouses/dates of the BP?  should i assign them seating?  maybe the 2 closest tables to the head table should be like a parents table and a BP +1 table?

HELP!!!  

SlothGoals

If you're doing open seating you should make sure to have at least 10% extra seating because there will likely be empty spots at tables. Other posters who have experienced this have compared it to looking for a lunch table in high school - awkward.

BP members should be seated with their dates, it's rude to break up a social unit.. 

If you're going to reserve tables for parents and VIPs why not just assign tables for everyone? That way you don't have to buy extra centrepieces for your extra tables and then everyone knows where they can sit.

scissotron

hmmm .. i just figured with a seating chart, itd be like im telling all these people that it doesnt matter who they want to sit by, they have to sit where i tell them to.  haha.  

ive never been to a wedding with assigned seating, so i totally get that 'new kid on the first day looking for a lunch table' thing.  i guess i could do a seating plan.  

i just figured itd be a nice gesture to have the parents sitting at a certain table.  not sure why, it was just a thought that popped into my head.  they do sit in the first rows at the ceremony, though, right?

i also never got the whole wedding party head table thing.  i always saw that and thought, wouldnt they rather be sitting with their families?  i just thought thats the way it was supposed to be.  haha.

scissotron

how do you let people know where theyll be sitting?  do they have to walk in the room and just look at cards on each place setting until they find their name.

doesnt that kinda result in a clusterf*** (sorry for the language, couldnt think of a better term)

my reception venue is plenty big enough, but not huge by any means, so im scared there'll be a traffic jam, if thats the case.

scissotron

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reserved-seating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:df5b1695-4445-4201-bea0-d320e8fbed35Post:fb374009-7403-4966-b053-a754273f3eaa">Re: reserved seating?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: reserved seating? : Must be a regional thing. I've never been to a wedding without table assignments. I'd be freaked out and probably eat my dinner in the bathroom (just kidding). I agree, head tables are dumb. Those people would certianly rather be sitting with their families and friends than the other WP members. We had a sweetheart table and sat the members of the WP with people they knew.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]
i like this idea much better.  now i have to re-figure my layout drawing, but thats nbd.  :)  i still have time.

scissotron

also, do you wait until you get RSVP's to make the seating chart?

should i rough draft it, then fix it when i get RSVPs, or will it be like im doing 2x the work?

im expecting about 65% of the people that i invite to attend, so i feel like doing it with everyone invited now will be useless, but i also am one of those people that do things EXTREMELY early.  i dont wanna be freaking out about it if i have to wait until the last minute.

mbody

We asked for the RSVP cards to be returned to use two weeks before our Wedding. That gave us enough time to contact the straggles. Once we had everyone's RSVP, we did a seating chart- about a week before the wedding. We had a pretty good idea who would sit with who though.

Have a table with seating assignments on it. Everyone should have a card with a table number. Then just number the tables. (You don't actually have to designate which seat they sit in on the table.)

mcda04

I didn't have a seating chart. The bridal party sat with their SO's with other family members. It wasn't confusing at all, and luckily, I didn't have empty seats. As people arrived, they sat next to whoever they knew or the table over. We had a sweetheart table and added two chairs at the ends for our kids but they decided to go sit with their cousins.

I too have never been to a wedding with assigned seating.

OliveOilsMom

In you don't want to make a place card for each person, you can always do a poster that is displayed during cocktail hour.  You would list each guest alphabetically, by last name, then put their table number after it.  I didn't do my seating plan until after we got all the RSVPs back.  I did use place cards that were on display in the cocktail hour, so the guests just walk up, find their name and pick up their card.  Once they get to the table, they can sit where they want.  My SIL did the poster thing and it was just as easy as the place cards to find your table.  Check out some of the pictures on TK to get some ideas for the place cards or posters.

Kate61487

For the ceremony:  Yes, parents and immediate family usually sit in the first or second row.  For us it was 3rd b/c the bridal party took up the first two rows.  If you plan on having your BMs and GM sit down at all (and I'd suggest you do if your ceremony is on the longer side) then you'd have your parents in the row behind them.

For the reception: I agree with the table assignments.  Usually people don't assign specific seats, just tables.  We did escort cards (those little tented kind) with each guest's name and table number.  They picked them up off a table when you first walked in and then could find their table.  You can do cutsey/themed ones, tie them to favors, do one per person or one per couple/family - there's lots of options.   For smaller weddings I've also seen people just do a seating chart that lists the table numbers and who's at each table, but I think if you get more than 6 or so tables that's too hard to search and find your name.  Easier to have everyone out in alphabetical order

I get what you mean about telling people where to sit, but ideally you will place them with the people they would have chosen anyway.  And after dinner people will get up and mingle anyway, so if there's someone they wanted to talk to they can do it then.  I wouldn't do the whole seating chart before you get RSVPs, but dividing people into categories like Liatris suggested can be done now.  Then when the final count is in you sort by groups and it's remarkably simple to group them in 8's or 10's. 

As for where the parents sit - it's not uncommon to have a 'parents table' with your and FI's parents and maybe grandparents or siblings.  Alternatively it's also common for each parent/set of parents to 'host' a table.  MIL had her own table and we put all of her close friends together there. Likewise my grandparents were seated with their siblings who they rarely see. 

scissotron

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reserved-seating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:df5b1695-4445-4201-bea0-d320e8fbed35Post:29de62ce-6ad9-4651-8748-795a0783d2f8">Re: reserved seating?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: reserved seating? : I had the coumn of how we knew the people from the beginning. When we got responses back, we added a column for that too. Once everyone responded, I sorted first by response, then by how we knew people. After that we did some juggling to make the tables even, but that was pretty easy. If we had to split a group up, we tried to do it in half so that it wouldn't be one couple separate from their group, but rather the group split in half and mixed in with another. Does that make sense?
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]
yep.  makes total sense.  i think i could handle having a general idea of who sits with who before RSVPs, then figure out where theyll sit after.<div>ok, heres another question.  ill include a picture to hopefully make it easier to understand, but we're having the ceremony right outside of the reception location.  i was planning on putting the guestbook right outside the reception door, because once you walk in there, there isnt much room for anything other than guest tables.  all the cake and food and other stuff will be in a room attached to the reception room, but on the opposite side from the ceremony.  you have to walk through the guest table area to get to that area.  so, where should i put the table with seating assignments?  im not sure theres enough room in an obvious enough place.</div>
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scissotron

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reserved-seating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:df5b1695-4445-4201-bea0-d320e8fbed35Post:99baa334-2241-4099-a0ad-de99e68f69b6">Re: reserved seating?</a>:
[QUOTE]In you don't want to make a place card for each person, you can always do a poster that is displayed during cocktail hour.  You would list each guest alphabetically, by last name, then put their table number after it.  I didn't do my seating plan until after we got all the RSVPs back.  I did use place cards that were on display in the cocktail hour, so the guests just walk up, find their name and pick up their card.  Once they get to the table, they can sit where they want.  My SIL did the poster thing and it was just as easy as the place cards to find your table.  Check out some of the pictures on TK to get some ideas for the place cards or posters.
Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]
not really sure what cocktail hour is .. so im assuming thats not part of our wedding?  haha.

Kate61487

I'd put it by the guestbook if you can put a table there with enough space. 

Cocktail hour is an hour between when the ceremony ends and when the reception "officially" begins that usually has appetizers and drinks - people use it as a buffer to take photos.  It's not at all necessary to have one, so don't worry about it :-)

scissotron

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reserved-seating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:df5b1695-4445-4201-bea0-d320e8fbed35Post:c4bd3e31-4fea-4447-ad1e-59ec0e305b6b">Re: reserved seating?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd put it by the guestbook if you can put a table there with enough space.  Cocktail hour is an hour between when the ceremony ends and when the reception "officially" begins that usually has appetizers and drinks - people use it as a buffer to take photos.  It's not at all necessary to have one, so don't worry about it :-)
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]
k.  shwew.  haha.  it sounded like cocktail hour was necessary.  :)<div>there wont be room for another table by the guestbook, or room on that table for anything else (our guestbook is 12x12, but i suppose i could put a big frame with lists in it, that way i could hang it on the wall, so it wont take up the extra space, but will still be visable.</div>

LDubHawksFan

What most are suggesting is assigned tables, which really aren't that much work.  It gives people a place to go to without the lunchroom situation, but they can choose who they want to sit next to at the table.  We made simple placecards that were laid out in alphabetical order on a table between our cocktail hour & reception rooms so people could grab them on their way in.  Like others said, we just started with our list and how they were grouped in circles, i.e. WP, bride college friends, groom college friend, mutual friends, etc.  I used a board, drew circles on it for the tables and used post it notes with each person on them....it made it easy to move people around as we created it.  We did ours after we got the rsvps, and it probably only took about 30-45 mins.

Vireyda

If you are going the assigned tables route, I'd consider putting the escort cards/seating chart on the table in the hallway and then move the guestbook next to the gifts table.  It's not like no one would be going into that area since your buffet is there anyway.

Good luck and happy planning!

scissotron

alright, i've hit a snag, finance isn't going for the no head table thing. urgh!!!!!

erinlin25

We are doing a "sweetheart" vs "head" table with two wedding party tables next to our table-- that way they can sit with there SOs and I didn't have random SO's at the head table.  Maybe your FI will go for that.  That way they are close to you guys.  I am personally not a fan of non-wedding party at a head table.   

I went to a wedding where my FI was in the wedding party.  He had to sit at the head table and I was sat with his family.  It wasn't the end of the world; we just had to not eat next to each other.  Bummer, yes, but did it ruin the wedding, no.  We still had a great time.  Assuming your wedding party SO's know each other or at least someone at the wedding, at least they are not sitting with random people.  If they really would be a solo SO, then you definitely need to sit them with their SO regardless if it is at the head table or not.