No room for extras!

aimdesphoto

I have sent out my invites and I have this one couple that are old friends from the church I grew up in, I didn't really want to send them one but the wife point blank asked me 3 times if they were getting invited.  We are only having about 80-100 people so we were trying to limit our invites.  When I addressed their invite I only put there two names not "& family" on the envelope.  I just got their reply card with 9 coming!  I am so upset... I don't have room for all 7 of their adopted kids, who I don't even know!  How do I handle telling them I don't have room for 9 of them only 2 like I addressed on the invite.  Help, what should I do!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_room-extras?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e0b52b3b-86db-49b4-af6a-3b7bd731bf31Post:b8500130-9224-44ed-8aba-0c9eaf9436ac">No room for extras!</a>:
[QUOTE]I have sent out my invites and I have this one couple that are old friends from the church I grew up in, I didn't really want to send them one but the wife point blank asked me 3 times if they were getting invited.  We are only having about 80-100 people so we were trying to limit our invites.  When I addressed their invite I only put there two names not "& family" on the envelope.  I just got their reply card with 9 coming!  I am so upset... I don't have room for all 7 of their adopted kids, who I don't even know!  How do I handle telling them I don't have room for 9 of them only 2 like I addressed on the invite.  Help, what should I do!
Posted by aimdesphoto[/QUOTE]

Ditto bree.

Be prepared for her to say then they cannot attend either especially if they cannot find a sitter for the children.

em01092

Wow she asked you 3 times? That is really rude of her to do. 

Definitely do what the other ladies suggested. She was rude to ask and rude to include her children on the RSVP when they were not invited. If she pitches a fit, stand firm and don't give in. 

From the sound of it, you don't really want her there anyway so maybe if she can't find a sitter that's ok? =D

ambermorley

Wow. I have been shocked before by what people consider acceptable when it comes to these things, but that is out of hand!

aimdesphoto

I just sent a message to her....I so hope she takes it okay and doesn't cause any drama...that's the last thing I need now. 

This is what I wrote, what do you think????

Hey there, I got your RSVP in the mail today.  I am so glad you are able to come.  I panicked a bit though when seeing how many you put down, I have only reserved a place for you and Dave.  Our wedding is very small and we are very limited on our invites.  I hope you understand and are still able to come.  We would love for you to be a part of our special day. 

I just want to be nice about it and not cause a big deal.

We'll see what happens.

marinabreeze

PPs are right.  That church lady is way out of line. Just call her and tell her that there is apparently a misunderstanding and the invite is just for herself and her husband.  Do not give in to her.  You can even say due to space restrictions or whatnot, or that it's a small wedding.

firsttimersluck

what you have written is fine but you need to make the phone call. it will make you look passive aggressive if you just sent a note

NOLAbridealmost

You're definitely in the right, etiquette-wise, but why mention that the kids are adopted?  Did you let everyone with biological kids bring them?  Just curious....because I could understand why they'd add them just to make a point if they knew everyone with biological children got to bring their kids.