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Kid free reception??????

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Re: Kid free reception??????

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e17accc4-9202-4775-8fc5-3a8dbeaf9a28Post:b3b2c6c5-ee72-407c-8743-608acd7c5387">Re: Kid free reception??????</a>:
    [QUOTE]I forsee a problem in saying to write only the names of those invited. People seldom write the names of children, yet people still bring their children. Does anyone have a reference for how to politely state NO CHILDREN ALLOWED? I think that's what she's looking for. Having a separate table for kids is defeating the point of saying no kids because someone still has to watch the kids; moreover, why should she have to budget for kids (because people would still expect for you to feed their children) when they weren't even invited.
    Posted by 6_5_10[/QUOTE]


    This is exactly the responce I needed!!! Thank You so much!!!!!!!
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    I'm having an adult reception only, too with the exception of my immediate family being allowed to bring my nephews & neices but they are all in the wedding (5 of them).
    My question is how to you convey that message to your guests properly? Two years ago my brother got married and had an adult reception only with the same exception. He even put it on his invite "Adult Reception Only" and some of the extended family & other guests ignored it and brought their children. I saw at lease 4 families with children between the ages of 6 and 13! That's also an extra expense, one guest member even had the nerve to say their 8 year old did not want a children's plate and got the $80 plate!

    Any recommendations?
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    I took my kids to my sisters wedding and reception, everybody took their kids it's what she wanted, but I don't think I'll ever be doing that again.  Even if you provide them with activity books, toys, or hire a babysitter to come to the wedding with you and just keep an eye on them they still get restless, bored, antsy.  My fiance and I have been waiting to get married so that we can include our children in the ceremony but we aren't inviting any other children and when the ceremony is over we have someone that is going to pick them up take them home and watch them at my parents house where they'll be staying the night.  So from the opinion of a mother it's okay to want to have an adults only reception just make sure you're clear about it.  I also agree that if your nephews are going to be a part of the ceremony it's okay to have them there, but maybe try to make some arrangements where they're not at the reception if it's possible. 

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    My wedding planner kindly offered to help me out by letting me put a note in my save-the-dates explaining that guest could call her directly and she would help them arrange for childcare.  That way out of town guests who don't want to leave the kids home for the weekend can arrange for a sitter recommended by my planner to come to the hotel. I figure the kids and the parents will both enjoy themselves more this way.  Putting a note about childcare in the save-the-dates or on your wedding website is also a polite way to let people know that you're not planning on having kids at your reception.  I love kids, but I've heard too many horror stories about kids at weddings.
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     We are having an Adult Only.  The only kids will be ours (2) and my nephew, and they are in the wedding party.   When my money is paying for such an event, I don't feel that I need to explain anything to anyone.  It's called preference.  I will post on my Invitation that it is an Adult Event (wedding and ceremony in same place). 


    In the end, it's my day and I need to be happy and I don't plan on worrying about someone's unruly kids spilling punch on my dress.Kiss

    PS I'm not a Bridezilla! 

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    Totally agree with this last post and totally understand who started this post. 1) a night weeding is not a place for children 2) specially for OOTG that you havent seen in a while..what kind of quality time you can have with them if they are running after their kids 3) they most likely would have to go home early, ruining your party 4) why should i budget for a nanny (i agree parents would not enjoy anyway bc they r leaving the kids with stranger) or to feed them which is at least $40 for nuggets.
    I personally have told some of my friends that there are no kids on the reception and i have gotten mixed reactions: some understood, some expected me to hire a nanny (wtf?) some were ofended. At the end of it, is my day and whoever is offended might just not come but since our guest list is extremely limited to only 100 friends is more about a budget thing.
    we are having only one kid, my nephew whos 8, so he can behave and wont bother my brother and wont get sleepy at 8 pm.
    Is it appropriate to write "Adult Reception" i have been seriously considering it
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    Hi all. I have a similar circumstance - I am getting married Nov 2010 and really did not want kids at the reception, not counting the children in the bridal party. My original idea was to put something on the save-the-date that said 'only children in the bridal party will be invited to the reception'. Then I was informed that some guests might not come if they couldn't bring their kids. Grrr. I was annoyed bc I feel like you can't please everyone you know? So anyhow, to avoid further strife with family, I will be altering my statement to say something like 'We look forward to having you share our special day. The bride and groom would much prefer an adult only reception, however if you are truly unable to make alternate arrangements your children will be welcome' with the hope that people will a) read btw the lines and understand that I am trying to find a nice way to say 'don't bring your damn kids' (haha)  and b) will have more than enough time to make arrangements for their children. When a friend gave me this idea, I thought it was great and helpful. Hope it helps someone else too!
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    My FI and are getting married in June and are encoutering a similar situation. We were originally only going to invite the children in the WP( neice and nephew of my MOH). My FMIL now wants to invite my FI's youngest cousins ages 8 and 10.  I have no problem with having them there, but my FI's uncle has two set of kids the 8 and 10 year old, and the other two kids are adults with their own children the same ages. My FMIL plans that if questions arise when only inviting the 8-10 year old we will say we are keeping it to first cousins only.
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    I am addressing invitations to parents names only, and just to be clear, putting this on our website under Guest Information:

    "We would like to ask that children over 2 years old (aside from family) not attend the wedding. Thanks!"

    I kept children under 2 because I know a lot of my friends just had babies and may not want to get sitters yet, and also because I don't have to pay for kids that young to eat.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e17accc4-9202-4775-8fc5-3a8dbeaf9a28Post:891745d9-0422-4176-8eaf-cc29165536e4">Re: Kid free reception??????</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kid free reception?????? : This is exactly the responce I needed!!! Thank You so much!!!!!!!
    Posted by smagitt07[/QUOTE]

    This is the very first response you got.  You address the envelope only to those invited.  If you think your guests are dense, you word your RSVP card to prevent add ons.  If they still screw it up, you call and explain that little Johnny wasn't invited.

    It is rude to put "no kids" or "adults only" or anything else mentioning who is NOT invited in or with your invitation.
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    I agree that "Adults Only" written on the invitation is tacky; however, you may put the names of the invitees only as others suggested and then on the RSVP card put.....

    "We are kindly holding 2 places in your honor" that way they will not have the option of adding in Suzy and Johnny.

    If they do scratch out 2 and put 4, have someone close to them call them and explain adults only. (i.e. your mother, or grooms mother). some may get huffy but it is their option to attend or not.
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