How far is does the invite who invited you thing go?

purplecaprii

I am really close with my FI's father's side of his family even though they live all over the us. Even though I have tried to create a relationship, I am still practially strangers with his mother's side of the family that lives locally. My FI's doesn't know his mother's side well either, in fact he can't remember most of them existing his is always getting the wrong number of kids or names. In fact he can only name two of his cousins' names.

Is it wrong of me to want to exclude his mother's side? My MIL says I have to invite them because all of his cousins all got married when my FI was in jr. high he was invited to all their weddings but honestly, I don't see the attachement because it was so long ago and we weren't invited as a couple (at tweleve we had never met.) If you invite a tweleve year old to your wedding that gives you an instant invite to his wedding over fifteen years later?

LeiselEB

You aren't obligated to invite someone to your wedding just because you were invited to theirs.

However, I think it ought to be up to your fiance whether or not he wants to invite his mom's side of the family. 

purplecaprii

It should be, but my FI's whole thing is we have to invite everyone not to insult anyone. that's 160 people. With seats and food that would eat up our whole budget.

NOLAbridealmost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-far-is-does-the-invite-who-invited-you-thing-go?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e21552a0-62c5-4eb5-9bb8-fae37259039fPost:4c8a52f2-6bf9-4309-a670-544a7cb1ae8a">Re: How far is does the invite who invited you thing go?</a>:
[QUOTE]You aren't obligated to invite someone to your wedding just because you were invited to theirs.<strong> However, I think it ought to be up to your fiance whether or not he wants to invite his mom's side of the family. </strong>
Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]

<div>All of this, but especially the bolded part. Why does it matter one bit which of <em>his</em> relatives<em> you</em> know. </div><div>
</div><div>ETA:  I just saw your response, OP.  Just let FI deal with his mom.  But a word of warning, you essentially want to leave out everyone that is family to his mother. She is probably going to be pretty pissed and hold that against you if you decide to exclude them. </div>

BMcLeodTeam

You should leave deciding who is invited to your FI and FMIL to figure out between them. I understand what you mean with the large family, FI comes from a huge family, mine's tiny. Took me getting over that fact because in the beginning I had a hard time with 'well why can't he cut it down to be smaller like mine'.