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Wedding Etiquette Forum
shortee426
member
Table Numbers = Rank?
Do you think table numbers are a ranking? For example, if you are at table 3 does that make you more important than the person sitting at table 10?
I ask because my friend was telling me that her FMIL is insisting she use table numbers, rather than names at her wedding. When I asked why she told me "rank."
That just doesn't make sense to me. I never felt I was less important than the person sitting at a higher numbered table. I always figured I was young so they put me near the band/DJ so grandma didn't blow out her eardrums.
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Re: Table Numbers = Rank?
I don't even remember what number we were at our own dang wedding. It wasn't #1. We numbered them in rows across the room, and we were in the middle, so we were like table 4 or something.
Miss Mrs.
Puppy Love
Married!
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
But that doesn't make it any less insane.
Married!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Table Numbers = Rank? : LOL OP, I realize you're not that crazy. :-) I did find your post fun to play with. Thanks!!!
Posted by kellya01[/QUOTE]
<div>That wasn't directed toward you specifically, just a general clarification. I quite agree with what you said.</div>
If you really wanted to over-analyze rank of guests, I GUESS you could look at how close they were to the couple or how far they are from the dance floor, but I've never been insecure enough about my relationship with the couple to do that sort of an analysis. Any wedding where I knew I was one of the first 15 or so on the guestlist (like because I was immediate family), I didn't need table numbers to tell me that I was close to the couple. And if I know that I'm not that close to the couple, I'm usually just appreciative they included me.
Waiting to meet the baby broccoli on 5/5/2013!
Well if thats the case my parents must feel like crap because they were at table 12. But it was dead center, right in front of our table. Ours were numbered in order, with table 1 being the closest to the door, and then they just went in order throughout the room. How would your guests know where to find the table if the numbers were just scattered everywhere?
Technically we did rank people when we did the seating chart, but not by numbers. We did immediately family closest, young friends by the DJ and bar, etc. But I think thats pretty common sense, and i would never expect to be closer to the B&G than the parents or family. And definitely wouldn't notice the table numbers.
Maui, November 2011
My question is, if this ranking thing really does exist, why would OP's friends' FMIL insist on shoving the ranking in all of the guests' faces by insisting on numbers for tables? Didn't OP's friend want to use something else like names?
[QUOTE]I think a lot of older people feel that numbers will rank. The last wedding I went to I was at the last table, in the corner, highest number. I didn't care, I know we are friends. <strong>My question is, if this ranking thing really does exist, why would OP's friends' FMIL insist on shoving the ranking in all of the guests' faces by insisting on numbers for tables?</strong> Didn't OP's friend want to use something else like names?
Posted by DavidandAmyClark[/QUOTE]
<div>I think it's more about making sure the "VIPs" (ie grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc). are given a higher rank than making others feel less important, if that makes sense.</div><div>
</div><div>I personally think it's crazy, but i think my friend views it as a battle not worth fighting.</div>
Table 1 is the closest to the honor table and is on the bride's side. Incidentally table 10 would be the first one on the groom's side (to keep numbers simple!)
The number ranking actually only works for table 1 which is supposed to be immediate family of the bride. So in fact it is completely ridiculous to base it on the table number because your FI's immediate family (or H's family at this point) would be at table 10.
It is actually now based on who is closest to the honor table. Family comes first and then friends. That's how we do it. It's not a matter of ranking, just a sort of seating chart procedure. So yes it might sound ridiculous to some of you who don't have that in your cultures but believe me when I go to a wedding and if I am sitting in a dark corner next to the DJ's speakers, chances are I'm not that close to the bride and groom.
>>Do you think table numbers are a ranking? For example, if you are at table 3 does that make you more important than the person sitting at table 10?
Not "more important." But "closer to the couple." And yes, that's exactly how people are seated for the ceremony and how people are seated for the reception in my circle/in my area.
The reception seating mirrors the ceremony seating: Parents up front, followed by close family, then more distant family, then close friends, then more distant acquaintences. The closer you are to the couple, the closer you sit to the couple - at the wedding and at the reception.
[QUOTE] />>Do you think table numbers are a ranking? For example, if you are at table 3 does that make you more important than the person sitting at table 10? Not "more important." But "closer to the couple." And yes, that's exactly how people are seated for the ceremony and how people are seated for the reception in my circle/in my area. The reception seating mirrors the ceremony seating: Parents up front, followed by close family, then more distant family, then close friends, then more distant acquaintences. The closer you are to the couple, the closer you sit to the couple - at the wedding and at the reception.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]
I'm reserving the front row for my parents/J's parents at the ceremony. But other than that it's first come, first serve. I'm not assigning seats.
[QUOTE] />>Do you think table numbers are a ranking? For example, if you are at table 3 does that make you more important than the person sitting at table 10? Not "more important." But "closer to the couple." And yes, that's exactly how people are seated for the ceremony and how people are seated for the reception in my circle/in my area. The reception seating mirrors the ceremony seating: Parents up front, followed by close family, <strong>then more distant family</strong>, then close friends,<strong>then more distant acquaintences.</strong> The closer you are to the couple, the closer you sit to the couple - at the wedding and at the reception.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]
Ok, I can see maybe inviting distant family, under certain circumstances, but distant acquaintances. Why are they there?
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Table Numbers = Rank? : Ok, I can see maybe inviting distant family, under certain circumstances, but distant acquaintances. <strong>Why are they there?</strong>
Posted by Y I Oughta[/QUOTE]
Well how are you supposed to get lots and lots of gifts if you don't invite distant acquaintances?
[QUOTE]I'm not sure if I was clear...this is my friend and her FMIL, not me and my FMIL. I will be using names for my tables. <strong>And yes, if you are sitting at "Glory Days" you are higher ranked than those sittnig at "Born to Run." ;-)</strong>
Posted by shortee426[/QUOTE]
I love it!
I'm not engaged, but if I ever do get married, I'm using that idea. Or something from Harry Potter. Like the Hufflepuff table and the Dumbledore table and the Petrificus Totalus table. I haven't worked out the details.
My boyfriend doesn't like Springsteen or Harry Potter, so that might be an obstacle...