who to invite!!

petersk09

So we are trying to keep our guest list around 80 but I have a huge group of extended family on both sides. So I am wondering woud it be rude to invite some cousins but not the others? I am really close to two cousins on my moms side and was invited to both of their weddings. We had already planned on making the wedding 21+ so that would eliminate most of my cousins on my moms side anyways. But on my dad's side I am not close to any of them. Would it be rude to invite cousins from one side and not the other?  

kmmssg

My poor stepdd had this problem.  Her dad is one of 7, her biomom is one of 7, and her stepdad is one of 10.  Biomom and stepdad wanted ALL of the cousins invited but they were not contributing to the cost of the wedding.  DD decided to invite the cousins she had grown up and had a relationship with.  That cut most everyone out and we were fine with it.  Biomom and stepdad - not so much, but that is what we went with.

Look at the big picture - are your family dynamics good and you know this won't start a war OR will you hear about it at every family function from now until the end of time?

I am all about inviting in circles if you can, but it is crazy entensive, I am all about inviting those with whom you truly have a relationship.

Hppycmpr3

Do I invite my other daughter's in laws to my other daughter's wedding?

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_who-to-invite-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e25e49cc-b19e-4333-9de7-d63f95eded90Post:0358f0c9-afe0-47b0-90a9-5db0eec6928d">Re: who to invite!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Do I invite my other daughter's in laws to my other daughter's wedding?
Posted by Hppycmpr3[/QUOTE]

<div>Does she know them or want them there?</div>

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_who-to-invite-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e25e49cc-b19e-4333-9de7-d63f95eded90Post:0358f0c9-afe0-47b0-90a9-5db0eec6928d">Re: who to invite!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Do I invite my other daughter's in laws to my other daughter's wedding?
Posted by Hppycmpr3[/QUOTE]

I sure wouldn't unless they have a friendly social relationship and see each other often, AND bride and groom want them there.

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_who-to-invite-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e25e49cc-b19e-4333-9de7-d63f95eded90Post:99d08112-18ec-42fd-a2c3-ede68b521801">who to invite!!</a>:
[QUOTE]So we are trying to keep our guest list around 80 but I have a huge group of extended family on both sides. So I am wondering woud it be rude to invite some cousins but not the others? I am really close to two cousins on my moms side and was invited to both of their weddings. We had already planned on making the wedding 21+ so that would eliminate most of my cousins on my moms side anyways. But on my dad's side I am not close to any of them. Would it be rude to invite cousins from one side and not the other?  
Posted by petersk09[/QUOTE]

<div>I made the call to invite the one cousin on my mom's side and not the 14+ on my dad's side. We invited all of my DH's (4) cousins. <span style="font-size:11px;line-height:14px;">Since the families don't know each other, I anticipate this being fine.</span></div><div>
</div><div>I'd cautious you more to be careful thinking about your mom's-side cousins who are being excluded--I don't think you really have to worry about excluding all of the dad's-side cousins unless the families know each other. </div>