Quick pre wedding party question..

soontobehanby

Some coworkers of mine wanted to throw me a bach party before the wedding, inviting other coworkers. I had already planned on inviting the girls who are throwing the party as they are close friends.  Am I now obligated to invite everyone they invite? I am pretty tempted to just tell them no party since I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but they seemed really excited about throwing me one. I am not partier, while they are, so they keep joking that this is their last chance to "corrupt me". It's all in good fun and I am sure the party would be a blast. I am just not sure what to do here.

aurianna

Hmmm. Well I know that one of the only exceptions to "everyone has to be invited to the wedding who is invited to the shower" rules is Office showers.
For bach paties though... ummm... I don't know.

You could tell them you're really only comfortable having a bach party with invited wedding guests as you don't want to cause any hurt feelings.
If they really want all the office people there, anyway you can get the focus off of you, and suggest you guys just all do a girls' night out? Just don't let them pay for your drinks or let them dress you up with a bride t-shirt or tiara or whatever.

jessicabessica

I would request that only people invited to the wedding be invited to the bach party.  It's not the same as an office shower, which would typically be during office hours or shortly after, joint gift, etc.  Also, I think that I would be pretty uncomfortable at a bach party (especially the kind were the hostesses wanted to "corrupt me") with people I wasn't inviting to the wedding because I wasn't that close to them.  

If you have room for them and want to invite a larger list of coworkers, then go for it. 

Jen4948

Since this is being billed as a "bach party" and not an "office shower," I think you do have an obligation to make sure that everyone on the guest list for this party is on your wedding guest list.  If this was strictly an "office event," then I'd agree with PPs who believe that that would be a reasonable exception to the "all pre-wedding party guests need to be invited to the wedding" rule.

Hopefully invitations for this haven't gone out yet; if they have and there is anyone on this guest list not invited to your wedding, I think you should invite them; if not, then sit down with your co-workers and explain that you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by inviting anyone to this who isn't invited to your wedding, and ask them not to invite any non-wedding guests (assuming you don't want to invite them).

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

If this is just everyone going out for happy hour before you take off for the wedding (in lieu of an office shower), I wouldn't worry about it. If they're planning an actual bach party, I would think that would be awkward and uncomfortable with coworkers and I'd try to decline.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_quick-pre-wedding-party-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e3f330f9-8843-408b-a82c-ad3f79eed15cPost:ee5555af-7259-484f-8c03-412842ccb512">Re: Quick pre wedding party question..</a>:
[QUOTE]If this is just everyone going out for happy hour before you take off for the wedding (in lieu of an office shower), I wouldn't worry about it. If they're planning an actual bach party, I would think that would be awkward and uncomfortable with coworkers and I'd try to decline.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

<div> This. </div>

soontobehanby

So this is a new question I guess! These girls party on a regular basis. Going out on a Friday night to celebrate is nothing new. They had talked about throwing me a bach party and it seems like a ton of fun, I am just really afraid of hurting feelings.