NWR: are you supposed to give presents for a baptism?

noodle_oo

My DH's brother had a baby recently and they are having her baptised next month.  We won't be able to attend as it is out of town (a flight away) for us.  We basically could afford going to either the baptism or going to visit them to meet the baby another time.  So we chose to visit them because that way we'd get to spend more time with them and our new nephew, whereas the baptism is going to be a HUGE event (over 100 guests) and we figured we wouldn't really get to spend time with them.

So, I didn't even think about it but someone asked what we were getting them for the baptism.  We spent almost $1000 on the trip to visit them.  I wasn't planning on a present.  But the wife is the kind who will notice if we don't send anything if we are supposed to.  I should note that we are not religious, I've never been to a baptism before.

So: are we supposed to send a present?  If so what?  TIA!

Avion22

If you were going to attend, then it would be customary to present a gift.  If you're not going, then it's up to you.  I think money or small personalized baby gifts (tihnk "things remembered") are customary.  But wow, with 100 guests, that's a lot of noah's ark piggy banks. 

Calypso1977

i dont think gifts are necessary unless you are the godparent.  are you a godparent?

otherwise, i usually send a card if ive been invited to a baptism.

Mrs.B6302007

I always have.
ETA: I usually give a check to put in the baby's college fund or whatever.

[Deleted User]

I think you should send a gift of somesort.

mica178

I'd probably at least send a card.  If you can afford to send a check or a small gift, it's nice but not required.

luckyme502

All the Baptisms I have been to have been gift giving affairs. 

jerseydevil

Typically yes. In my circle, we usually get Savings Bonds in the baby's name with a card.

AbbeyS2011

<strong>In</strong> Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-supposed-give-presents-baptism?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e468423d-bb5a-4973-96b0-00c7d537995cPost:7628bd6c-3937-4ad3-a93e-f3990f3ad686">Re: NWR: are you supposed to give presents for a baptism?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you were going to attend, then it would be customary to present a gift.  If you're not going, then it's up to you.  I think money or <strong>small personalized baby gifts (tihnk "things remembered") are customary.  But wow, with 100 guests, that's a lot of noah's ark piggy banks. 
</strong>Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

This is why I do not ever give personalized gifts. 

I like the suggestions of college fund money or savings bond enclosed in a card. 

Are you going to visit before or after the baptism?  I was going to suggest you bring your gift with you if it is before, or send it if you are visiting after the baptism.