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not really B-list, but invite or no?

rbtrumpetrbtrumpet member
500 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Our church is getting a new pastor on Aug. 1st.  Since he will be our pastor, FI and I think it would be nice to invite him (& his family) to our wedding, but our RSVP date is July 19th.   We don't really know him now, but anticipate getting to know him over the next few years (or however long he's here).

Would you invite him after the RSVP date, or just not invite him?
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Re: not really B-list, but invite or no?

  • ThePinkSuperheroThePinkSuperhero
    1000 Comments
    I would invite him, particularly if it will be a chance for him to get to know other people at your church.
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  • rbtrumpetrbtrumpet member
    500 Comments
    how would you handle the "inviting after the RSVP" date thing?

    I'm thinking of just handing it to him and saying that we'd like him to join us if he can...
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  • aggiebugaggiebug member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary
    ehhh I don't think I would.  That could be a little weird.  If you are having a small wedding with a majoirty being from the church then maybe.  Your wedding is not a time to welcome a new pastor you will have plenty of time to do that at church functions.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I wouldn't invite him.  Your wedding isn't really going to be the best venue to get to know someone new.  If you want to get to know him and his wife invite them to dinner some night. 
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  • scurtis07scurtis07 member
    100 Comments
    I wouldn't invite him, even if the majority of the people are from the parish, he will be new, so he won't know them, and then you have either him all alone not knowing anyone, or drunk people bombarding him with too much info about their family and the church and who needs that? Unless this is a dry wedding..
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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
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    It's proper to invite him (and his spouse if applicable). If he doesn't feel comfortable, he'll decline.

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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
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    Andplusalso, let's not take advice from people with less than 20 posts, mmmkay?
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  • aggiebugaggiebug member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary

    brookelyn, I am pretty sure its not the pastor that is marrying them.  Just a new pastor in the church that she and Fi are members of.  Hence my response.


    I could be wrong, and if I am then yes invite them and the family.  But If I read it right then I would still suggest to not invite them. 

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  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    "Since he will be our pastor, FI and I think it would be nice to invite him"

    I do believbe you're wrong, aggiebug
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  • aggiebugaggiebug member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary

    I admit I could be, I think she will have to come back and tell us.  I just was clarifying my answer because I of course believe they should be invited to the wedding if he is the officiant! (I should have said that in my original post)

    I read that several times, i just didnt figure a pastor whom they have never met and will only be in that church for a few weeks would be the officiant. 

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  • rbtrumpetrbtrumpet member
    500 Comments
    sorry to post and run - I feel asleep..  sorry for the confusion....let's see if this helps

    He is not the pastor marrying us, he is stepping in to full-time pastor position at our church.

    It is definitely NOT a dry wedding (although most of my friends don't get "drunk").

    I should also mention that he is a friend of mine's brother, so he would have people to talk to at the wedding, and probably 1/2 our guests go to the same church...

    HTH
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    It wouldn't hurt to just hand him an invitation and just be up front that you realize it's late notice but since he'll be joining your church full time, you wanted to extend the invitation.  What's the harm?
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  • aggiebugaggiebug member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary
    rbtrumpet. 

    I still don't think I personally would invite him, you will get to know him better at church events and he may feel obligated to get you a gift.  And I doubt he will ever look back and say "I can't believe she didn't invite us to their wedding" 

    Since he will have friends that he will be comfortable associating with at the reception it wouldn't be inappropriate to invite him.  I think Dani gave a great way of phrasing the late invite. 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Love is like infinity: You can't have more or less infinity, and you can't compare two things to see if they're "equally infinite." Infinity just is, and that's the way I think love is, too.
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  • KnittibellKnittibell
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-really-b-list-but-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e48081e6-80e9-4909-99eb-5e84ea1adbaePost:a751680b-68fc-4169-85de-ee7c28d13c04">Re: not really B-list, but invite or no?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wouldn't invite him.  Your wedding isn't really going to be the best venue to get to know someone new.  If you want to get to know him and his wife invite them to dinner some night. 
    Posted by mysticl[/QUOTE]

    Ditto- a dinner, or a BBQ with other people from the church would be just fine!
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