Registering for gifts?

MillieMae92

This might seem like a broad question, but what kind of stuff do we register for? I used to think anything that you actually could register for was up for grabs, but after lurking I know that is not the case. We are pretty much starting from scratch. 

I know honeymoon registries are a no (I'm assuming registering for other things like houses or whatever else are also wrong, since that seems like the same thing), but what else is frowned upon? I've seen suggestions on wedding websites for things like bed sheets all the way to furniture or clothes for the honeymoon. I just don't want everyone side-eyeing our registry .

OwningAHome1981

Most people register for house things... vacuums, china, dishes, bedding, shower curtains, utensils etc etc

radleyboo

If you visit a reputable retailer like Bed Bath & Beyond, Target, or Macy's they will have someone to help guide you through this.  Crate & Barrel has a nice guide available online as well.  Generally, you are registering for things to create a home together, but like the PP said, stay away from the big stuff like furniture, TVs, vacations, cars, and a house. 

harper0813

Can I just whine here that FI is really, really upset with me for pleading with him not to register for furniture? We went to Crate and Barrel to register and he made a huge fuss over a dining table and chairs, a couch, and a rug, and thinks it's totally unfair that I want to keep such expensive items off the list. He's telling me that his parents will buy them (all?!) for us, and maybe we should invite more rich people to our wedding.

... WTH

Threadjack over. Register for kitchen goods, bathroom goods, office goods (pencil cups, desk lamps, NOT computers!). Things that make a household.

monkeysip

Depending on how giant and expensive the rug, I wouldn't say rugs are completely off limits.

I also don't think furniture is completely off limits.  I registered for a little like $80 nightstand at Target because it was so adorable, and I can at least get 10% after the wedding for registry completion.

I wouldn't side-eye a couple smaller furniture items, but it gets weird when people are signing up for living room or dining room sets. 

MillieMae92

Thanks! What about decor? Vases, wall art, etc? 

Also, this is kind of unrelated, but so I don't crowd the main board with posts, what kinds of wedding party gifts are appreciated? I know none of the personalized bridesmaid gifts, but I don't really know the guidelines on that stuff. Are gift cards OK? Too impersonal? I've heard you should give something you'd give for a birthday or holiday, but we don't do Christmas gifts and we always take each other out for birthdays and bring wine or something. I don't know if this translates to wedding gifts.

peekaboo2011

I agree with PPs that smaller furniture is okay, and even some of the mid-sized stuff.  A bunch of people I know registered for Dysons, and a table and chairs can be just as expensive sometimes.  I think you have to know your crowd, and if you have one high ticket item like that, it's not the end of the world.

MillieMae92

Sorry, a million questions, what is too much? $100? $200? I feel like I personally wouldn't side-eye anything up to $200, as long as there were very few things between $100-$200, and mostly items under $50, with many under $25.

ETA I'm basing this off the fact that I generally spend between $25-$100 on a shower gift, depending on how close I am with the person (and how well I did that month) and then between $50-$200 on a wedding gift.

lovesclimbing

We gave gift cards to our WP. Personally, I would certainly use a gift card and would be very happy with that gift if I were a BM and the bride gave me one.

daria24

Yes home decor is OK-I've seen decorative pillows, nice photo frames, vases, etc on registries. I don't side-eye furniture in general, it doesn't bother me if I see a couch, or an end table, coffee tables, etc. A mattress? Yeah I'd judge that. I personally love seeing cook books on a registry, I usually get one of those, plus a kitchen item that goes along with it (ie a pie pan, cookie sheets, etc).

As far as WP gifts, the important thing is that you select items that you know each person will appreciate. So for on BM, that might mean a gift card to her favorite restaurant, so she and her husband can go out to dinner. Or if one girl really likes Coach, a Coach wristlet, etc. I don't think gift cards as a rule are too impersonal, as long as you are selecting a store, restaurant, etc that you know that person will enjoy.

Knottie_22382102

Some of the high ticket items people will group together to buy, parents will buy, or people will give you a gift certificate towards it.

My best friend registered for Lenox dishes that were $175 for each place setting. I really wanted to get her dishes because theirs were all college mismatched but I thought it was crazy that she expected she might receive 8 of them.  Later, I noticed she picked put a $100 one instead which I purchased for her.

Before her shower, she told me how annoyed she was at her mother for suggesting that she change the dishes because she felt she was worth that to people. I tried not to snarl at her. She was a wicked bridezilla for her wedding (Shes normally very sweet)

MillieMae92

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registering-for-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4c22038-362a-49d8-bfcc-f37fa30cbc46Post:a48b68cb-74c5-4158-a395-21274db5cb27">Re:Registering for gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]We gave gift cards to our WP. Personally, I would certainly use a gift card and would be very happy with that gift if I were a BM and the bride gave me one.
Posted by lovesclimbing[/QUOTE]

<div>So if you were my bridesmaid, would you be OK with getting a gift card, but then also a cheesy personalized frame with a picture of us from the wedding (to be added later, of course), with the full knowledge that the second part of the gift was entirely for me?</div>

TheBaysideBride

Hi - I think anything house related is fine, or if there is a hobby you love to do together, that works as well. We do a lot of outdoor sports together, so we registered for a waterproof camera, a new north face duffel, etc, because hopefully those things will be used on date weekends   I agree that most items are under $200 generally, but we have a few more pricey items. We are still months away from teh wedding but some of the women in his family just sent me the kitchenaid mixer, which was pricey but they loved buying it together.

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registering-for-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4c22038-362a-49d8-bfcc-f37fa30cbc46Post:67231174-a6e0-40d6-a5e0-d14c6bdb99ed">Re: Registering for gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry, a million questions, what is too much? $100? $200? I feel like I personally wouldn't side-eye anything up to $200, as long as there were very few things between $100-$200, and mostly items under $50, with many under $25. ETA I'm basing this off the fact that I generally spend between $25-$100 on a shower gift, depending on how close I am with the person (and how well I did that month) and then between $50-$200 on a wedding gift.
Posted by MillieMae92[/QUOTE]

Home decor is fine to answer your previous question. A few expensive items are fine as long as there is a range of prices, as long as not everything is super expensive. We registered for a $200ish suitcase and a $200ish vacuum but we also have things that are as low as $4.99. As long as there is a good mix of price points, you are fine.

monkeysip

Yeah, I mean, our china set (we registered for a whole set, not individual settings) is $400, but it is often on sale for $200.  And the kitchenaid stand mixer is like $400 regular price (on sale for $300 or so sometimes). 

I think it's okay to register for a few really big items because you never know, multiple people might go in together for them. 

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registering-for-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4c22038-362a-49d8-bfcc-f37fa30cbc46Post:48963e87-df1f-4fa4-b690-fa3f1781caf1">Re: Registering for gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I mean, our china set (we registered for a whole set, not individual settings) is $400, but it is often on sale for $200.  And the kitchenaid stand mixer is like $400 regular price (on sale for $300 or so sometimes).  I think it's okay to register for a few really big items because you never know, <strong>multiple people might go in together for them.</strong> 
Posted by monkeysip[/QUOTE]

The generosity of people is wonderful. Our entire place settings (12 of them) and all the add-ins (pasta bowl, oval platter etc etc) were all purchased. I don't know if they all from one person or multiple people, but it was certainly a nice surprise when I looked at the registry this morn.

:)

Kate61487

Price-wise I think as long as you've got a wide variety you're fine.  We definitely had some pricier items on there (like our Dyson, KitchenAide stand mixer, luggage, knife set), but had plenty of items under $10 as well.  Our most used wedding gift is probably the tv trays we got and they were a last minute add-on so definitely think outside the kitchen!  If you have any doubts that something might be judged just ask us, we're happy to weigh in.

harper0813

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registering-for-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4c22038-362a-49d8-bfcc-f37fa30cbc46Post:0ad4b05e-f7c0-4725-8d22-0578de05a72f">Re: Registering for gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Depending on how giant and expensive the rug, I wouldn't say rugs are completely off limits. I also don't think furniture is completely off limits.  I registered for a little like $80 nightstand at Target because it was so adorable, and I can at least get 10% after the wedding for registry completion. I wouldn't side-eye a couple smaller furniture items, but it gets weird when people are signing up for living room or dining room sets. 
Posted by monkeysip[/QUOTE]

<div>Crate and Barrel rugs cost anywhere from $300 to $1000. FI wants to register for an $800 rug.</div><div>
</div><div>I get the whole "getting a discount" thing, as it is really tempting - but I'd be so embarrased to have so many expensive items on our registry!</div>

kmbryant2413

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registering-for-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4c22038-362a-49d8-bfcc-f37fa30cbc46Post:b6fb9257-e8c3-43e5-a45b-b88d274bc753">Re: Registering for gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registering for gifts? : Crate and Barrel rugs cost anywhere from $300 to $1000. FI wants to register for an $800 rug. I get the whole "getting a discount" thing, as it is really tempting - <strong>but I'd be so embarrased to have so many expensive items on our registry!</strong>
Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

<div>I think I might too. A very good friend of mine just got married (on Saturday!) and I was perusing their registry a while back to get them something. The website had it tiered in price brackets, and they had 3 items under 50, some in the middle, and 37 items for 500+! I know that his wife's family is very well off, and I know that is family is average middle class. I felt A) Pretty sheepish that I couldn't afford hardly anything for them and B) like it made them look a little..selfish? Is that the right word? I dunno. Cater to your audience, I guess.</div>

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registering-for-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4c22038-362a-49d8-bfcc-f37fa30cbc46Post:b6fb9257-e8c3-43e5-a45b-b88d274bc753">Re: Registering for gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registering for gifts? : Crate and Barrel rugs cost anywhere from $300 to $1000. FI wants to register for an $800 rug. I get the whole "getting a discount" thing, as it is really tempting - but I'd be so embarrased to have so many expensive items on our registry!
Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

I can't speak specifically about Crate and Barrel, but our Kohls and BB&B registries let us add stuff after-the-fact, so you could always wait until after (or the very last minute if you're afraid it will close, since very few people will be looking at it the day before the wedding) and go ahead and add those things for the completion discount :-)

STARMOON44

I think the price question is very much know your crowd. I personally love buying one place setting of fancy china and would assume a couch on your registry is there because grandma wants to buy it for you. As long as you have a variety and you keep your circle's financial circumstances generally in mind, I think you get a lot of wiggle room on this.

nda8414

Sorry to hijack this post, but how many gifts did you all register for and how many guests?

Kate61487

I just went to check and while BB&B apparently keeps a 1.5 yo registry Kohls doesn't, haha. So I have no idea. 

First, think in terms of number of invitations, not number of guests b/c a family of 4 isn't likely going to buy you 4x as many gifts as a single person.  Second, think about how many of those people are going to be invited to a shower.  In my circle physical gifts are given at showers and wedding gifts are almost always cash so even with a 400 person wedding if you're only having a 20 person shower that might affect how much you register for.  I'd guess we ended up with 2-3 gifts per invitation on our registries (with items from $1 to $400).  Honestly I just registered for stuff we wanted / would truly use and I kept an eye on it; after my first shower I added a few more things b/c the list was getting a bit scare in the $30-$50 range and I had another shower coming.  I don't think you need to worry about registering for too many things; if nothing else it gives your guests more variety to choose from so just watch to make sure it's not empty before your showers are done.

MillieMae92

Thank you all! It's nice to know when you're doing something correctly!