1 NY ceremony/reception and 1 CA celebration on 1 invite?

Mikifer726

My fiance is from California and has moved to NY to be with me. We are having our Fall 2013 wedding in NYC (ceremony and reception) however his family would like to host a smaller wedding celebration (note- not a "wedding reception" as we would already be married) in California for those who were unable to fly to NY. We want to give people from both coasts the option of attending NY, CA, or both. Is it acceptable to include info on both celebrations on one formal invitation (ie. allowing guests to check off which location on the RSVP)? If so, how would it be worded on the invite? Thank you!

thurmanpowell

That's kinda weird. Invite everyone to your wedding then let your IL invite whomever they want to their party.

SKPM

I would send invitations for the ceremony/reception to the entire guest list. If your inlaws want to host a party, you could share your guest list with them if they are concerned with keeping their guestlist to only wedding guests.

Peledreamsofrain

Is it possible foe them to just have a rehersal dinner out there and invite more than the traditional attendees? I agree that two receptions is odd, and kinda comes off the wrong way.

thurmanpowell

I should add:

Besides the invitations being weird, There's a pretty good chance they'll drop this idea long before it gets to the invitation stage. Everyone says they're going to have another party for those who can't make it back home, yet I've never seen this second party actually materialize. The people in CA who want to see the wedding are going to have to go to NYC or you guys are going to have to move the wedding closer. Those who can't attend probably won't be interested in pretending they did at a second party.

emeejeeayen

My mom wanted us to do this which is why we're getting married in CA instead of NYC (also it's less expensive). Having 2 parties is really difficult to do. I like the idea of you handling your wedding and the in laws sending out separate invitations for their party. Coordinate so the invites go out at similar times.

ftrmrsweatherdon

I've seen this happen a couple of times.

Friends of ours got Married where they live now, then they had a second celebration out east where the bride is from, and further to that they had a traditional Indian Wedding, in India for those family members. They had three weddings, and just for fun, they got married a 4th time by Elvis in Vegas a few months later. 

 

For them their families wanted this as not everyone could attend the 1st wedding in their hometowm.

Another set of our friends, got married and had a very small intimate affair. A month after the wedding, the grooms mother decided to throw them a celebration in her hometown for everyone who was not invited to the first wedding.

I'd let your IL plan, organize & invite the guests to that wedding. You take care of the one "you're" hosting.

jessicabessica

I agree with the PPs that suggested that you might want to wait to see who actually RSVPs for the NY wedding before you commit to the CA party.  My DH has a lot of family on the west coast, and we got married on the east coast, as did my BIL and SIL.  We each thought about doing a west coast party, but did not end up doing one. 

I would send invitations to your NYC wedding to everyone you would like to attend.  Next time you're in CA, your ILs can host a party, but I would leave that as a separate invitation. 

wrigleyville

I've seen this done several times. It works best if you have pocket-style invitations, as you can include an invitation to each event and then style the RSVP card appropriately.

It basically looks like:

___ We will be joining you for both celebrations

___ We will be joining you in NYC

___ We will be joining you in CA

___ We do not plan to attend either event

Obviously, the wording is fancier, but you get the idea.

This is common when the party follows the wedding by fewer than six weeks. Otherwise, you would send wedding annoucements and the invitation to the party shortly after the wedding, as the guests still have plenty of time to RSVP. Make sense?

I don't know why everyone thinks it's weird. I've seen lots and lots of posts about post-wedding celebrations on this board and others, whether it's an AHR or a more casual party. Either way, the OP is already ahead of the game, as she realizes it isn't a wedding reception.

Mikifer726

Thanks everyone for the feedback! Again, the second event in CA is more of a party/dinner and not a reception and in no way is another wedding. It's a way for them to meet me since alot of his older family may not be able to travel and some friends won't be able to afford flying cross country. I trust that those who would/can fly to the actual wedding, will. His IL will be inviting his family and he'll include most of his CA friends too.

I was just hoping to make it easier somehow for his IL and limit paper by not having his CA friends get multiple invites in the mail..haha. But then again, that's why I'm requesting your feedback in the etiquette section I'm leaning towards two separate invites now..

Mikifer726

@wrigleyville: that's a really nice suggestion! It's quite clear and avoids confusion. I was confused earlier when I first posted this b/c I know there might be some of his friends who can't make it but would be happy to celebrate in any way possible, especially if its in their hometown. Just wanted to invite them and give them an option..

LauraChristin

I prefer separate invites. How soon after the wedding will the CA dinner be? Generally, I can't commit to dates far in advance so if the dinner was weeks or months after the wedding it would make RSVPing at the same time difficult for me if I were one of your guests.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_1-ny-ceremonyreception-and-1-ca-celebration-on-1-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e518c4f1-75b2-4915-949a-c826881e22d8Post:b30896d7-a0a4-43d5-a536-559df9b92a63">Re: 1 NY ceremony/reception and 1 CA celebration on 1 invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]@wrigleyville: that's a really nice suggestion! It's quite clear and avoids confusion. I was confused earlier when I first posted this b/c I know there might be some of his friends who can't make it but would be happy to celebrate in any way possible, especially if its in their hometown. Just wanted to invite them and give them an option..
Posted by Mikifer726[/QUOTE]


I agree with you here.  A party to celebrate is fine.

wrigleyville

I'm not sure if you're still keeping tabs on this, but here's a really pretty example of what I was talking about:

http://www.custompaperworks.com/2010/04/passport-invitations-with-pocket/

Ajuliana

My family just had the exact same situation.  You send out two invitations, just to be simple, clear, and not hurt feelings.  My brother had a Texas wedding and a California reception.

Mikifer726

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_1-ny-ceremonyreception-and-1-ca-celebration-on-1-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e518c4f1-75b2-4915-949a-c826881e22d8Post:cfd55d4f-a143-45b3-92fa-bf38e351b1b5">Re: 1 NY ceremony/reception and 1 CA celebration on 1 invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not sure if you're still keeping tabs on this, but here's a really pretty example of what I was talking about: <a href="http://www.custompaperworks.com/2010/04/passport-invitations-with-pocket/" rel="nofollow">http://www.custompaperworks.com/2010/04/passport-invitations-with-pocket/</a>
Posted by wrigleyville[/QUOTE]



I truly appreciate this suggestion! It's nice to see the visual :)