Wedding Etiquette Forum

Re: .

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-boyfriends-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e6cd422e-3d19-459b-b688-d19f62aab186Post:493fbb73-c61a-4b3e-b395-71af363a931e">Bridesmaid's Boyfriends Invited???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi,  My FI and I are both fulltime students and work full time because we are paying for all of our wedding costs.So because we wanted a nice wedding we only want to have 100 guests but it seems impossible!! Besides our family members, there are many people from the church we met at that we would like to invite but we had to cut them off. My bridesmaids are insisting they want to bring a guest, their bfs, but I've never even met them before becuase of our busy schedule. I'd feel bad if I couldn't bring my bf to my bff's wedding. I had to cut off very important people to me from my list already;<strong> how can I tell everyone that no is NOT OK to bring a guest that I've neer even met before. </strong>
    Posted by lindseyjso[/QUOTE]
    You can't. If they are in a relationship (whether you've met their bf/gf or not) they must be invited together, they are considered a social unit. <div>
    </div><div>If they are truly single, you can just make the invitation out to them only. </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-boyfriends-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e6cd422e-3d19-459b-b688-d19f62aab186Post:493fbb73-c61a-4b3e-b395-71af363a931e">Bridesmaid's Boyfriends Invited???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi,  My FI and I are both fulltime students and work full time because we are paying for all of our wedding costs.So because we wanted a nice wedding we only want to have 100 guests but it seems impossible!! Besides our family members, there are many people from the church we met at that we would like to invite but we had to cut them off. My bridesmaids are insisting they want to bring a guest, their bfs, but I've never even met them before becuase of our busy schedule. I'd feel bad if I couldn't bring my bf to my bff's wedding. I had to cut off very important people to me from my list already; <strong>how can I tell everyone that no is NOT OK to bring a guest that I've neer even met before. 
    </strong>Posted by lindseyjso[/QUOTE]

    You can't.  Like you said, you'd feel bad if you couldn't bring your SO to your best friends wedding - so don't you think your girls will feel just as bad? 
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  • You need to re-think this. You CANNOT split up a social unit. You need to invite all significant others. Reconsider your venue if this puts you over cost, or get back to the drawing board with your guest list.
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  • Your bridesmaids (especially!) and everyone else invited to your wedding should be able to bring their significant other regardless of if you've met them. 

  • You shouldn't separate couples, even if you haven't met your BM's boyfriends. It's not ok to tell them they can't bring their boyfriends. 

    I think you'll have to cut your guest list more and allow your bridesmaids to bring their boyfriends.


  • What everyone else said.

    Also, what kind of a friend are you that you ask them to stand up in your wedding but can't be bothered to meet their boyfriends?  That's so rude of you.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-boyfriends-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e6cd422e-3d19-459b-b688-d19f62aab186Post:40d5e5a0-034c-400f-934d-7a94fde20ea8">Re: Bridesmaid's Boyfriends Invited???</a>:
    [QUOTE]What everyone else said. Also, what kind of a friend are you that you ask them to stand up in your wedding but can't be bothered to meet their boyfriends?  That's so rude of you.
    Posted by ceh789[/QUOTE]

    Was thinking the same thing.  Aren't these your best friends??? 
  • I just don't get the whole "I've never met them" thing. This is not about you. It's about the comfort of your guests and being a good host. Since you've decided to invite your friends you need to properly host them which means including their significant others. All or nothing.
  • lindseyjsolindseyjso member
    First Comment
    edited March 2012
  • If they are together when your invitations go out, you need to invite them both.
  • But you think you have the right to judge the seriousness of your BMs relationships?  You're so wrong.  Just... wrong.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-boyfriends-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e6cd422e-3d19-459b-b688-d19f62aab186Post:ae91a839-1165-4d93-b19f-d4dd8384f5f3">Re: Bridesmaid's Boyfriends Invited???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks Everyone!!  Well, I was honest with my bridesmaids about this subject and they understood my point of view. I even read somewhere in TK that if there is <strong>"no ring, no bring"</strong> and that's what led me to seek more advice on this. This is where I'm standing right now, I only have 3 bridesmaids: BM 1: Haven't met her bf but I told her she could bring him because although not at the moment, they have lived together before.  BM 2 (MOH): Just started dating a guy that she's not even sure about herself.  BM 3: I'd invite her bf (for 4 yrs) I have met him before but he is in Afghanistan, they kinda broke up the last time he came (but i'm sure they'll get back together). So she's talking to someone and wants to bring the new someone or a guest.
    Posted by lindseyjso[/QUOTE]

    FFS.
    You obviously have your mind made up, and your friends *totally understand* so do what you will but you look cheap and rude.
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  • Holy cats... your PS?  Who the hell do you think you are?  They haven't brought them around and so you haven't met them?  Put some effort in to meet them.  Christ.
  • it is not your place to judge their relationships.  If they consider themselves in a social unit, you must consider them a social unit

    And also keep in mind splitting them up at the reception is also rude.  They should be allowed to sit with their BFs.  this means either you and FI get a sweatheart table alone, or you have a kings table with the BMs and their dates.  No head tables please.
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  • x.x you need to invite their SOs.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaids-boyfriends-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e6cd422e-3d19-459b-b688-d19f62aab186Post:e2d6bafd-29c0-4b74-b4fc-dedd1e0b43a0">Re: Bridesmaid's Boyfriends Invited???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid's Boyfriends Invited??? : Hello!!! Everyone has different situations, <strong>you do not know how many hours of sleep I get at night working full time, full time school & plannign a wedding</strong>! Also like Imentioned her bf does not live in the area and has clonflicting work schedules with mine. So with this said you have no right o judge the status of my friendship relationships. P.S. They all know by bf because he is the best man in the world and has somehow helped them do something (oil change, a ride to somewhere, a song in their birthday). They have never brought their bfs around and that is not my fault!
    Posted by lindseyjso[/QUOTE]

    Bahahaha. I was working two and at one point three jobs, as well as finishing up my degree, and planning a wedding was bottom of the totem pole as far as time devotion. That's not any excuse at all to be rude about inviting your best friends' boyfriends.
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  • Deleting doesn't really help anything since you've been quoted.
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  • OP, let me give you a perspective from someone who thought just like you a few months ago. I also didn't give anyone the chance to bring a bf or gr. If they weren't married or living together, they weren't coming. This included my FI's brothers who are both a bestman. 

    We've never met either gf because they live thousands of miles away. Our rationale was that why can't we invite other people who live here & have seen me grown up, over these girls that we don't even know. 

    Then one of them got engaged. Now what do I do? I can't not invite a fiance. That is quite clearly a committed relationship. So, we extended the invite to her. Since we invited her, we had to invite the other gf. This all went down about 2 months before the wedding. It will be hard for them to find the money to buy a flight here on such short notice. They are coming, as of right now. 

    Moral of the story, don't make judgments on other people's relationships. It's not about what makes you comfortable, it's about your guest. ESPECIALLY if they are part of the bridal party. If those 3 extra people will really blow your budget or go over venue capacity, cut elsewhere. That's what we did. Turns out that we got a few unexpected no's, so we probably should've have cut those, but too late now! Don't make my mistake.
  • If I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding and she told me that I could not bring my boyfriend, I would decline to be a bridesmaid. It is extremely rude and inconsiderate. And like PPs said, these girls are in your wedding..don't you think you should make an effort to be friends with their boyfriends? 
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  • OP, are you for real?
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