Is it rude???

tanyaandrich

We are getting married in St.Maarten in June. One of my fiance's friends just broke up with his girlfriend and asked us if it was ok to invite a coworker to our wedding so he would not get a single occupancy penalty!
My fiance told him that it was no problem to join us on our vaccation, but he hopes he undertands that we wanted only the closest friends and family members, and that he could join us after dinner.
I'm not sure if this was rude???? Or should we just swallow the extra $350 (cost per guest) and ask him to join us ??

JessAndTrav

Would you have paid for the previous S/O? If so, then the money was already budgeted for them, right?

I understand that you want only close friends and family there, but I think I'd make an exception.

sucrets4

It costs $350 for dinner?

tanyaandrich

I think I have to agree with you!

nda_roxybabe

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e891fefe-4369-4f18-a027-d42bef033b2dPost:b91be065-7c59-43b5-9338-1a8dfb0e214c">Is it rude???</a>:
[QUOTE]We are getting married in St.Maarten in June. One of my fiance's friends just broke up with his girlfriend and asked us if it was ok to invite a coworker to our wedding so he would not get a single occupancy penalty! My fiance told him that it was no problem to join us on our vaccation, but he hopes he undertands that we wanted only the closest friends and family members, and that he could join us after dinner. I'm not sure if this was rude???? Or should we just swallow the extra $350 (cost per guest) and ask him to join us ??
Posted by tanyaandrich[/QUOTE]
Holy hell thats expensive, why is it so expensive?
I'm with Jess, would you have paid for his SO he just broke up with?
Because it's long distance I don't blame him and I'd let him bring his guest.

tanyaandrich

yes we didnt realize the cost until it was too late!!! It's alright, we are a small group. And besides, it's only once right?

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e891fefe-4369-4f18-a027-d42bef033b2dPost:7f5a25db-1d26-459a-95c5-fb66b49977eb">Re: Is it rude???</a>:
[QUOTE]yes we didnt realize the cost until it was too late!!! It's alright, we are a small group. And besides, it's only once right?
Posted by tanyaandrich[/QUOTE]

It's seriously $350 per PERSON (not couple) for dinner only?

nda_roxybabe

Thats just for dinner? Or is that for their stay at the resort or something?
To think T's sister was whining about a $33 brunch...

playtntsbpg30

I thought $70 a head was crazy for a hotel reception. but at $350 a person?? 

I am sure happy to have $20 a person now.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e891fefe-4369-4f18-a027-d42bef033b2dPost:a714237d-d5c2-42d3-8703-26bc4c7e6abb">Re: Is it rude???</a>:
[QUOTE]Thats just for dinner? Or is that for their stay at the resort or something? To think T's sister was whining about a $33 brunch...
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

I know, that's why I'm asking.  She mentioned the amount and then said something about swallowing the cost if they let the coworker come to dinner.  I'm confused.

nda_roxybabe

I'm confused too.

sucrets4

Oh, no, she said about having him come but NOT be invited to dinner.  Holy crap, that would be awful.

Anyway, it's late and she's not replying, so it's bedtime for me.  Night!

nda_roxybabe

Night!

nda_roxybabe

After reading what Sucrets pointed out. Yes, that is rude. You want the guy there don't you? You can't invite him all the way to St. Maarten then not feed him dinner.

tanyaandrich

Oh my goodness!! Yes, per person dinner and bar for 5hrs. I know its alot, but my father passed away 2yrs ago and I refused to do it at home where I am sure it would have been WAY LESS!  We chose St.Maarten because we went there on our first vacation together and totally fell in love with the island! We sent out our invitations in October and only started with the reception planning in January and realized just how much it was gonna cost. Thank God for GREAT Moms! As far as decor I am very DIY so we are saving in that department! And our travel agent is totally cool, she's letting us send stuff ahead of time an one of their flights so we save ther too! Every bit count I guess!

tanyaandrich

Thanks for the advice... Like I said I thought it was rude and will definately tell Rich to call his friend back!

JessAndTrav

I think that she's breaking down the entire cost of the wedding into a PP.

Like if I was paying $10000 for the entire wedding and divided it by my 190 guests (that actually attended), then it'd be $52.63/pp

If she's spending $10000 and inviting about 25 people, then $350/pp would be right.

But I wouldn't actually calculate things like that.

EDIT: I just read your response, OP, and that's...a lot.

agk0125

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e891fefe-4369-4f18-a027-d42bef033b2dPost:73522021-1597-410d-bfcb-a338983499a1">Re: Is it rude???</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my goodness!! Yes, per person dinner and bar for 5hrs. I know its alot, but my father passed away 2yrs ago and I refused to do it at home where I am sure it would have been WAY LESS!  We chose St.Maarten because we went there on our first vacation together and totally fell in love with the island! We sent out our invitations in October and only started with the reception planning in January and realized just how much it was gonna cost. Thank God for GREAT Moms! As far as decor I am very DIY so we are saving in that department! And our travel agent is totally cool, she's letting us send stuff ahead of time an one of their flights so we save ther too! Every bit count I guess!
Posted by tanyaandrich[/QUOTE]

Hold the phone, you sent out actual invitations three months before you started planning your reception? How did you know what date and time to put on the invite? I'm so confused.