To invite or not to invite

alanderson23

Is it rude to invite my Uncle and Aunt to my wedding but not their kids? I know that sounds harsh, but I do not want my other guess to be 'distracted' by their unappropriate dress and behavior. The son dresses in a very gothic manner and their daughter has a tendency to dress and act in a lude manner.

twohollydays

Are you inviting your other first cousins. If you are then I think you have to invite them. The ladies on here say to invite in tiers. I invited my first cousins but not second ones. 

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-not-invite-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e8eab7e5-48ce-4077-8d9c-e56172490ec9Post:8df21269-c8f5-4f71-b2dc-502b7dd0f213">To invite or not to invite</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it rude to invite my Uncle and Aunt to my wedding but not their kids? I know that sounds harsh, but I do not want my other guess to be 'distracted' by their unappropriate dress and behavior. The son dresses in a very gothic manner and their daughter has a tendency to dress and act in a lude manner.
Posted by alanderson23[/QUOTE]

lude manner?  She's taking qualudes?  I think you mean lewd.

No, you don't have to invite their kids but be prepared for fallout if other cousins are invited

mkrupar

I've been a guest at many weddings and have never been "distracted" by what other guests are wearing. If you're inviting the rest of your cousins and you exclude these ones then yes it's rude. If you're only inviting aunts & uncles then you're ok to not invite them. I think you're being pretty judgemental though. They're still family regardless of how they dress.

blush64

Everyone else has said it well, you really should invite them if you are inviting the other cousins.

EDITED

I have been to several weddings where a couple of girls showed up in attire more suitable to prostitutes on the street. Guests were distracted by it momentarily but no one thought less of the wedding or the bride. We all just thought they were disrespectful and wrong to attend a wedding wearing what they did. (and a few guys got mean looks from their girlfriends for staring) 

To be honest I don't want girls who present themselves that way at my wedding because I think it's rude. Judgemental, yes, but it is still rude.

alanderson23

Dress/looks is the tip on the iceberg. Behavior is my main concern. Both have behaved very inappropriately at family functions. I.E. Hitting on other family members significant others, getting overly drunk, and picking fights.

Milsey32

Call me up and tell me specifically what to wear... or better yet, just put it on the invite. 

Sorry OP, but you're being too judgy. 

alanderson23

My thoughts exactly. Its disrespectful to the bride and to the family.

em01092

I like the tier idea too. FI and I are discussing this right now, since FMIL wants to invite a bunch of 2nd cousins FI barely knows. We are ok with 1st cousins, since a few of them are closer with FMIL and FI plus I am willing to make a few guest list concessions, but we want to pass on their kids, several of whom are adults in college and probably won't mind missing out anyway. 

alanderson23

Tiers is a great idea. Thanks y'all. We are trying to keep it as small as possible.

alanderson23

blush64

emyinpink

I recommend either tiers, or knowing your family. On my side, I have 12 first cousins, none of whom I'm very close to, so I just invited my aunts and uncles. On FIs side, the family is more "estranged", so he selected which aunts/uncles and which first cousins to invite. For his side, we only picked people we were close to as a couple.

woodreb2

My fiance has a lot of 'step' families (big long story). So we invited some aunts and uncles without their kids, otherwise we'd be waaay over budget. No one has complained yet....