Bridal Showers

mparkes

My fiancees aunts are throwing me a bridal shower. From the beginning I requested only one shower. However, they are insisting on throwing a couples shower basically just for family. Therefore I would have a couples shower, a shower for my friends, and a bachelorette party. I just don't want people to feel obligated for all of that. Does this make me seem selfish or is it the norm to have this many prewedding events?

redheadfsu

Many people have two showers (usually the guest list is different for them. So a guest is only invited to one of them). Some people don't have any showers.

You decline them if you are uncomfortable.

MattsPenguin

It sounds excessive when I say it outloud, but I had four showers:  mom's immediate family, fi's extended family, fi's church, and my main one thrown for close family/friends by my MOH.

As long as the guest lists don't overlap (except for your mom and in-laws), it isn't considered rude

aragx6

I don't think 2-3 showers is all that crazy a number -- just try not to have too much overlap between guest lists at them and don't expect everyone to come.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-showers-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ea24980e-a366-44b5-b9fa-673df2fdf3cbPost:05544e13-5714-49a0-b14b-6ade35dbab0c">Bridal Showers</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiancees aunts are throwing me a bridal shower. From the beginning <strong>I requested only one shower</strong>. However, they are insisting on throwing a couples shower basically just for family. Therefore I would have a couples shower, <strong>a shower for my friends, and a bachelorette party</strong>. I just don't want people to feel obligated for all of that. Does this make me seem selfish or is it the norm to have this many prewedding events?
Posted by mparkes[/QUOTE]

First, PPs are right - more than one shower is fine as long as the guest lists are different.  Generally the hosts will ask for your input on the guest list, but if the aunts only want to have family that's their choice. 

BUT, you should never request a shower (or two, or seven, or a b-party).  Showers and bach partys are a gift, given by the host(s).  Has a friend offered to throw a "friend" shower or b-party?  if not, then you only have the one shower.  And that's okay too.

mparkes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-showers-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ea24980e-a366-44b5-b9fa-673df2fdf3cbPost:227afa7c-2880-4eb3-bc3a-da8e8866b4bd">Re: Bridal Showers</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Bridal Showers : First, PPs are right - more than one shower is fine as long as the guest lists are different.  Generally the hosts will ask for your input on the guest list, but if the aunts only want to have family that's their choice.  BUT, you should never request a shower (or two, or seven, or a b-party).  Showers and bach partys are a gift, given by the host(s).  Has a friend offered to throw a "friend" shower or b-party?  if not, then you only have the one shower.  And that's okay too.
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

When I say "I requested" it was after they offered to throw me a shower and were asking what I'd like for it. That is when I said "Just one is fine. I dont see the need in having one for each side of the family because both sides get along so well"

Thank you for your response. It brings much thought, as do the others!

gananoque

Multiple showers are perfectly fine and normal. Especially with different guest lists, as others have said.

When you think about it, it's actually MORE considerate to the hosts to do it this way cause it lessens the burden on each host. For example, if you had a single shower, combining all guest lists, one person (or a group of people) would have to host ALL those guests. This might make it more managable for individual hosts.

I had multiple offers from different groups of friends saying they wanted to host a baby shower for me. At first it felt weird to accept and have more than one baby shower but then I realized that this way, I could include the friends I wanted to include on the guest list, but alleviate the burden for each hostess so each friend could host a separate, smaller gathering!

kmrort

Wow.  Good to know!  I was invited to two bridal showers, one out of town and a bach party all in three consecutive weeks for the same girl.  She is expecting me to attend all of them and I only want to attend one. 

As far as having more than one, that's fine.  I see no problem as long as you aren't expected to attend all of them.