NWR-Birthday Card

Carson386

My birthday was on Monday and my aunt and uncle were unable to attend the family dinner my mom had due to my uncle recently having a stroke. They sent me a card in the mail with cash in it. I don't feel right at all to accept the cash. They are so caught up in medical bills and I appreciate the card and the thought but I feel so wrong accepting it. They are short enough on money that they can't afford to buy my little cousin all of her school supplies this year. My cousin's birthday is this weekend, would it be totally wrong of me to take the cash and buy her a gift card for Walmart or Target so that she can get things for school? I am definitely sending them a thank you card, I just don't know if I should just keep the money or if it's ok to use it to help out with their money issues.

Edit: They asked me probably 2 weeks ago if I had school supplies I would not be using for college so that my little cousin could borrow them.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-birthday-card?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:eacc36a3-7692-44ba-88f6-d4f124f10b11Post:e9b2bc44-dbf7-4d83-b8f2-7e8516177729">NWR-Birthday Card</a>:
[QUOTE]My birthday was on Monday and my aunt and uncle were unable to attend the family dinner my mom had due to my uncle recently having a stroke. They sent me a card in the mail with cash in it. I don't feel right at all to accept the cash. They are so caught up in medical bills and I appreciate the card and the thought but I feel so wrong accepting it. They are short enough on money that they can't afford to buy my little cousin all of her school supplies this year. <strong>My cousin's birthday is this weekend, would it be totally wrong of me to take the cash and buy her a gift card for Walmart or Target so that she can get things for school? I am definitely sending them a thank you card, I just don't know if I should just keep the money or if it's ok to use it to help out with their money issues.
</strong>Posted by Carson386[/QUOTE]

I think it would be perfect! How thoughtful.

Loopyseven

Definitely send a thank you card.  I probably woudln't just turn around and give your cousin a gift card for the same amount, but if they gave you $50 I'd maybe do a $25 or $30 gift card for your cousin, and treat yourself to a little something fun with the rest.  They woudln't have given you the gift if they didn't want you to have it, and being too obvious about "returning it" would likely only hurt their feelings.

Carson386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-birthday-card?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:eacc36a3-7692-44ba-88f6-d4f124f10b11Post:c51350bf-1365-4e4d-9f2c-e8697c37d18d">Re: NWR-Birthday Card</a>:
[QUOTE]Definitely send a thank you card.  I probably woudln't just turn around and give your cousin a gift card for the same amount, but if they gave you $50 I'd maybe do a $25 or $30 gift card for your cousin, and treat yourself to a little something fun with the rest.  They woudln't have given you the gift if they didn't want you to have it, <strong>and being too obvious about "returning it" would likely only hurt their feelings.</strong>
Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]

That's what I am afraid of. I thought about maybe even doing a little more on the gift card than what they sent (like adding $20).

SunriseAmber

I would do what Loopy suggeted. I just wouldn't tell them what you are doing. That's very kind of you to think of them.

freebread03

Could you take your cousin school shopping or something?  Tell your aunt and uncle you have to go to staples or whatever for your own supplies and offer to take your cousin with you?  Money can be awkward, and I'm sure they don't want you just giving it back to them, but maybe taking her shopping can allow you to do that without them really realizing it.