Kids or no kids?

micah07g

my fiancé and I have decided on immediate family, just parents, grandparents, and siblings at a Sunday afternoon vineyard wedding. The bridal party consist of two groomsmen who we counted dates for and both my bridesmaids and their husbands. However one of my bridesmaid has two children younger than 4. They would be the only kids there and may not behave well. Do I ask her to get a babysitter? Is that a bad idea?

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-kids-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec16ba09-6071-4f8d-a1ee-fe6364ea677fPost:03114ac8-b622-4951-b77d-cef73b1bdb0e">Kids or no kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]my fiancé and I have decided on immediate family, just parents, grandparents, and siblings at a Sunday afternoon vineyard wedding. The bridal party consist of two groomsmen who we counted dates for and both my bridesmaids and their husbands. However one of my bridesmaid has two children younger than 4. They would be the only kids there and may not behave well. Do I ask her to get a babysitter? Is that a bad idea?
Posted by micah07g[/QUOTE]

You don't ask them to get a babysitter as that would be poor etiquette on your part. Simply don't address the invites to the children, but only the parents. If they rsvp for more or inquire about a children's meal, tell them children are not invited due to budget or space limitations.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-kids-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec16ba09-6071-4f8d-a1ee-fe6364ea677fPost:03114ac8-b622-4951-b77d-cef73b1bdb0e">Kids or no kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]my fiancé and I have decided on immediate family, just parents, grandparents, and siblings at a Sunday afternoon vineyard wedding. The bridal party consist of two groomsmen who we counted dates for and both my bridesmaids and their husbands. However one of my bridesmaid has two children younger than 4. They would be the only kids there and may not behave well. Do I ask her to get a babysitter? Is that a bad idea?
Posted by micah07g[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>It's your choice.  I wouldn't ask her to get a babysitter if that's your choice, just send the invite to her and your H.  But honestly, if your only reasoning is that "'they may not behave well," I think that's lame.  You don't need to invite them by any means, but saying 2 young children may not behave is like saying a dog "may" bite.  It's possible, yes, but it's not a guarantee.

</div>

hlq2011

It's totally within your rights not to invite kids.  But in your situation, I'd probably leave it up to your bridesmaid.  Are you just assuming they won't behave based on no past history, or are they holy terrors?

Two of FI's cousins brought their daughters (not quite that young, but not much older either) to my bridal shower last Saturday.  They were fine, other than beating up on FI, who was hiding in the basement trying to watch the NFL draft.

jessicabessica

It's really up to you.  All of my family's events involve kids, so we're having kids at our wedding.  I don't know that the behavior issue is such a big deal.  Your friend's husband would be there to take care of them during the ceremony.  

I have heard some posters say that some wineries don't allow underage people at events.  I never looked into anything like this myself, but it's something you might just want to check on.  

AbbeyS2011

Send the invite to Mr. and Mrs. Smith only.  When they ask about bringing their little ones, just explain you want an adult only wedding.  Simple as that. 

Since they are parents of 2 under 4, I would think they will welcome the break as well as time to be hubby and wife instead of Mommy and Daddy. 

noodle_oo

She's your BM and you guys haven't discussed whether or not her kids are coming?  You are perfectly fine to not invite the kids, but if she's one of your best friends, I'd probably discuss it.  Will she be able to find a sitter or have family take care of them wihtout too much trouble or expense?  Bc if not, I'd probably try to accomodate them.  Afterall, what will you do if she can't come bc she can't get childcare?

i guess I'm jsut surprised it didn't come up when you asked her to be a BM.

mandi921vh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-kids-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec16ba09-6071-4f8d-a1ee-fe6364ea677fPost:8ca529cc-1f0c-4d69-80c3-23ab09375410">Re: Kids or no kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]Send the invite to Mr. and Mrs. Smith only.  When they ask about bringing their little ones, just explain you want an adult only wedding.  Simple as that.  Since they are parents of 2 under 4, I would think they will welcome the break as well as time to be hubby and wife instead of Mommy and Daddy. 
Posted by AbbeyS2011[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div>