this is the code for the render ad
Wedding Etiquette Forum

Gift and Registry Question

We have registered with Dillard's, even though we didn't plan to. My coworkers and his coworkers both want to plan a party and asked where I was registered. The party planner at my employer pushed me into registering. I haven't told anyone where we're registered. I don't want cash, I really don't want gifts - I feel like if you know us well enough to be invited to the wedding then you know what we need/want (Lowe's gift card, Dover Saddlery stuff for PePo, Woodcrafters toys, telescope stuff, etc...). We have everything for the house three times over, in good quality.

Is there any polite way to say that we'd rather have expendable, fun things like Outback gift cards, or Vino's (the local wine store) gift cards, or fun stuff like that? I don't know of a polite way to say that at the work functions. I can be more blunt with my family (I don't want any more stuff to sit in my ktichen I have to feel guilty over not using, please send food gifts LOL), but lots of people in our life are excited over this and we have some cool friends who want to do something.

What are my better options? Register for stuff I'd like to have and would never buy?
image

Re: Gift and Registry Question

  • Honestly not sure if this is E-approved or not. The other gals here will need to confirm...

    But have you ever played with Amazon's universal wishlist? You install it on your internet toolbar and if you're on any site you can click it to add it to the wishlist (I just tested it on outback's gift card page and it worked).

    So you can add all sorts of random stuff to an amazon wishlist and could give your amazon as your "registry."

    But then I worry that registering for gift cards is like registering for cash, which is tacky... but maybe you could put other fun things on it?

    Or is putting things that you don't really need for your new married life together taboo?

    I"m about as lost as you on this one...
  • Just don't register...or unregister?  People will get the hint and give you money.  You can then use the money to buy the gift cards and other items you desire.
    image
  • StefffiCStefffiC member
    1000 Comments First Anniversary
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-and-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec2989c3-3876-4872-bb02-f4b7fe3265e1Post:72efe509-a171-445d-8b45-494a4109f0df">Re: Gift and Registry Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just don't register...or unregister?  People will get the hint and give you money.  You can then use the money to buy the gift cards and other items you desire.
    Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]

    That would be an issue with my coworkers. We're both long time employees. His crew is on the road together and I told his coworker/party planner that we didn't wany anything that wasn't consumable. LOL Since we'll be having a BBQ one evening after they get off then they're all good with that - they can bring alcohol and wine and other consumable gifts.

    My coworkers will do something in the day time, in a corporate room. I registered for Keurig stuff and Kitchen Aid stuff I won't buy, but would love to have. And, some fun sheets and stuff. There's a running joke I should be registered at Petsmart because of all of our animals. My jobs is more professional and they throw some awesome showers at our employer.

    I'm going to look at the Amazon registry, then we can register for stuff from Lowe's, Telescope parts, and other fun stuff we will enjoy in our married life!
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-and-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec2989c3-3876-4872-bb02-f4b7fe3265e1Post:d81d25d5-cf17-4022-bbe2-41dfb3f64d40">Re: Gift and Registry Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]But then I worry that registering for gift cards is like registering for cash, which is tacky... but maybe you could put other fun things on it? Or is putting things that you don't really need for your new married life together taboo? I"m about as lost as you on this one...
    Posted by aurianna[/QUOTE]

    I wanted to put on my shower invitations something along the lines of -

    "Steph and John don't really need anything. The children always appreciate good Tuna, the ponies appreciate good carrots, and their humans always appreciate good wine. We appreciate your prescense in our life and at our special day more than gifts - the time you share with us is the most precious gift."

    I work too much and money isn't important to me, but my time is very important. The children are our 7 cats and most of our friends know that.
    image
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    What about canceling the Dillard's registry (although fluffier, thicker towels are always nice) and registering at Vino's (their sommelier can help you choose 20 bottles to "start" a wine cellar) and Dover Saddlery?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-and-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec2989c3-3876-4872-bb02-f4b7fe3265e1Post:4c2098a2-5311-415e-b3f7-71743095cf02">Re: Gift and Registry Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]What about canceling the Dillard's registry (although fluffier, thicker towels are always nice) and registering at Vino's (their sommelier can help you choose 20 bottles to "start" a wine cellar) and Dover Saddlery?
    Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]

    My current towels came from Christy's. LOL I'm a linen snob.

    If somewhere doesn't list a wedding registry on their site does that generally mean you can't register there?
    image
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-and-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec2989c3-3876-4872-bb02-f4b7fe3265e1Post:49d8dd0e-b064-476d-b34d-9132ed98d184">Re: Gift and Registry Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift and Registry Question : My current towels came from Christy's. LOL I'm a linen snob. If somewhere doesn't list a wedding registry on their site does that generally mean you can't register there?
    Posted by StefffiC[/QUOTE]

    Good question!  I'm not sure, but you can give them a call.  A lot of places have gift registries but don't call them bridal or wedding registries.

    BTW, I think you're a trooper for registering.  We did not.  I wouldn't change that decision.  Yes, we received a couple of white elephants, but those are special (and one funny) in their own ways.  LOL!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-and-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec2989c3-3876-4872-bb02-f4b7fe3265e1Post:4e69e245-91be-45ff-8efa-e0e27abfc152">Re:Gift and Registry Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Gift and Registry Question: Honestly, Steffi, it sounds like you need to just decline the showers. We love our animals, including our hermies, but I would never ask for pet supplies as a wedding gift.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Is it unacceptable to ask for farm supplies as a wedding gift? We currently do live on 11 acres.

    The tuna thing is a running joke with friends and family. I don't expect pet supplies, but hobby supplies for things we do together as a couple (riding supplies, telescope stuff) would be fun - is that unacceptable?

    When we have people over and they ask what to bring I always tell them Tim says Tuna, Star says carrots, and I say a bottle of good wine, so that's a running joke with our friends.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-and-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec2989c3-3876-4872-bb02-f4b7fe3265e1Post:84632a02-52bf-48ff-b360-b1705feab11a">Re: Gift and Registry Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift and Registry Question : Good question!  I'm not sure, but you can give them a call.  A lot of places have gift registries but don't call them bridal or wedding registries. BTW, I think you're a trooper for registering.  We did not.  I wouldn't change that decision.  Yes, we received a couple of white elephants, but those are special (and one funny) in their own ways.  LOL!
    Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]

    I'd like to elope or go to the courthouse and get married without all the trappings!

    Between work, the farm, and the wedding I'm going to be nuts next year!
    image
  • With the wine option, if there are any other alcoholic beverages you enjoy or would like to host when you have guests, it sounds like you could have a "Stock the Bar" shower.


    image

    image
  • hoffsehoffse member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    Williams Sonoma allows you to register for wine in some states - you might want to check that out.  You can also get the kitchenaid stuff there.

    Don't register for things for your pets or kids.  I don't mind seeing like, a dog bed, or a cute, decorative dog bowl on a registry, but anything more involved is strange because then it feels more like a gift for the pet than for the owner.  Riding equipment may be a little different, but it's also really expensive.  As for kids, I'm sure they're cute but they're not the ones getting married.  I get irked when I see toys and things like that on adults' registries - the couple clearly isn't going to use it for themselves.

    If you register for gift cards, that's like asking for cash.  Really, you might want to just make a very small list for these showers (or decline the showers) and then people will just give you straight up cash for the most part.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I would honestly just politely decline these parties/showers. It is totally fine to not want a traditional registry, but then you shouldn't be having a shower. FWIW, I wouldn't have an issue with an Amazon Wish list like a PP suggested as far as the wedding goes. I'd love to know if a bride and groom really wanted a GC to a local wine store or Outback. But people give physical gifts at showers, which is why I'd decline them and maybe just do the Amazon List as a "registry" for your wedding.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards