Who to invite to rehearsal dinner

stephanie.d.smith

Hello,

My fiancé and I are starting to think about the rehearsal dinner guestlist and are completely in the dark about etiquette. Specifically, two of my bridesmaids’ parents will be coming in from out of town to be in the wedding (one is my best friend, the other my cousin). So far we are having our immediate families, wedding party/significant others, and possibly grandparents. Is it proper etiquette to invite families of bridesmaids? After all, we do want to keep it intimate and keep costs down.

To further complicate things, I’m in my cousin’s wedding (and she is also one of my bridesmaids) this fall, and my parents and siblings are invited to her rehearsal dinner. We don’t want to be rude and not invite them, but we also don’t want to be obligated to invite the remainder of the aunts/uncles/cousins and have this grow to be a second wedding.

Thanks for the advice!!!

Stackeye210

RD guest lists can get out of control quickly because you're so excited about seeing everyone.  The people you have mentioned are fine and it's ok to exclude the BM's families as long as their SO's are invited. 

Maybe if you wanted them to feel included the night before the wedding you could meet up with them for a drink or something after the RD? 

[Deleted User]

Typically you invite the WP and their spouses & children and any other people involved in your wedding such as readers or someone who may be singing.

We ended up with about 40 ppl at our RD. We had 2 FG's, so we invited their families (my first cousins) and the same with the RB. We had both of our Grandma's, the spouses/SO's of the GM's and BM's and of course our parents. I also invited my Godmother, the family friend who threw my bridal shower and that was about it. We did not invite parents of BM's or GM's unless they were involved in the wedding in some shape or form.

ShanaFry

I'm confused about this too. I was always under the impression that out of towners are supposed to be invited. I have never heard anyhting about the parents of wedding party. I don't want our RD to get out of hand but I really don't want anyone to side eye us for not following proper etiquette. Our RD is on an island in Ohio and we are paying for everyones ferry ride over as well as dinner. I wish we were just having a BBQ at someones house so I could invite lots of people without breaking the bank. ( I know I could do this but FI wanted to get married on island and logistically was impossible so RD was the compromise).

nhelene

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-rehearsal-dinner-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ec5c5713-8381-4574-ba47-45baf39b777bPost:f4265899-c182-40d5-a1e3-f98759212976">Re: Who to invite to rehearsal dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm confused about this too. <strong>I was always under the impression that out of towners are supposed to be invited. I</strong> have never heard anyhting about the parents of wedding party. I don't want our RD to get out of hand but I really don't want anyone to side eye us for not following proper etiquette. Our RD is on an island in Ohio and we are paying for everyones ferry ride over as well as dinner. I wish we were just having a BBQ at someones house so I could invite lots of people without breaking the bank. ( I know I could do this but FI wanted to get married on island and logistically was impossible so RD was the compromise).
Posted by ShanaFry[/QUOTE]

This is only advisable if you're having a hometown wedding and only a few guests will be traveling from out of town.    Nowadays people's family and friends tend to be too spread out.

LoveBugBaby

Ours is just the wedding party and their SO's, our parents, and the officiant and his wife.  We had mentioned inviting grandparents because the restaurant required FI's mom to pay for 40 people, but I'm not sure what she decided to do!

marisah83

You're not obligated to invite the WP's parents.  As long as you have your immediate families and the WP, you're good. 

We're having our parents, wedding party and spouses, and three out of town guests.  I think our total is only 12.  I have been to an RD though where all OOT guests were invited, and there ended up being 150 people.  That was overboard to me.

zingaro1000

We're doing just our immediate families, grandparents, the bridal party and their immediate families.

stephanie.d.smith

Thanks for the advice!! Does it matter that I'm in my cousin's wedding this fall and my parents are invited to her rehearsal dinner? (She's also in my wedding next spring). Does that mean I have to invite all aunts and uncles, or just parents of WP members? 

ShanaFry

If I was in your WP and your cousin was in WP I wouldn't be upset if your Aunt was invited but not my parents. Just saying. But who knows if it's right or wrong, I would probably just keep it simple so you don't feel guilt trippy close to the date