Fiance's parents bringing their dog

QueerFemme

As politely as possible... tell them you understand not wanting to leave the dog home alone, and offer to hire a dog sitter for the evening.   I'm sure there are plenty of dog walkers in your area who wouldn't mind making some extra money sitting with the dog for an evening.     Offering this might help soften the blow when you tell them you don't want the dog at the wedding.

tpender13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiances-parents-bringing-their-dog?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecc7bdc4-c29e-42f6-b8c9-143c6d459ab5Post:0bc9872b-cadc-48eb-9bd9-6bc1ea5cb5c4">Re: Fiance's parents bringing their dog</a>:
[QUOTE]ETA: I just reread the OP more carefully - they basically lied to get her approved as a service animal?  That's terrible.
Posted by Meggiemuggins[/QUOTE]

Ditto. This would make me want to say no even if the dog is legally allowed.

RYLZ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiances-parents-bringing-their-dog?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecc7bdc4-c29e-42f6-b8c9-143c6d459ab5Post:75502fdd-c6b4-4cf2-8509-ccb244b05a5f">Re: Fiance's parents bringing their dog</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Fiance's parents bringing their dog : His parents are being ridiculous. I would have your FI tell them no, but present it as a joint decision. However, I wouldn't mention your reasons above.  The more you try giving reasons, it gives them something to counterpoint.  "Someone may be allergic" could turn into  "We'll stay away from them."  "You might miss our first dance" could be "Just warn us ahead of time and we'll make sure we're in there in time" etc.  <strong>Just "Mom and Dad, we love you and we love ________. However, our wedding is a formal environment where a dog is not appropriate."
</strong>Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]

Totally agree.  Don't even waste time trying to give a reasonable explanation-- they'll just try to rebut it, and the fact that they even made the request means they aren't reasonable to begin with.

Also, if this were me, I'd be more than a little annoyed that FI told them it was up to me.  He really ought to deal with them and present a united front, with the very simple response bolded above.

kchase622

Wow!!! Thank you all for the thoughtful responses!!!!

You are all absolutely right. I am very uncomfortable with the idea that they abused the regulations around service animals, and by allowing them to bring the dog it would be condoning that behavior, which I think is very wrong. I was thinking about all the other issues that could come up, and it would definitely make other guests uncomfortable (most of all, my own mom, who I know would think it is ridiculous and make a huge deal of it!).

I told my fiance about all the responses I got on here, and he said in the end if I don't want the dog there he is happy to simply tell his parents that, and we don't need to justify it. I asked him to present it as a joint decision we made together. So, he's going to tell them no. His parents are nice people (just a little nutso about their dog), so I think they'll understand and won't harbor any bad feelings. This was was my gut feeling in the first place, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy to tell them no.

Thank you all so much!!

sleepyb

Just a thought (keeping in mind that I absolutely agree that your FI needs to tell them no, but in case this just won't go away) - is there a place at the reception (in a different room) where they could put a dog kennel (the travel kind) and leave their precious pup?  That way, they are free to check on the dog at any time but it's not running around at the reception.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I would tell them that some of your wedding party are very allergic to animals. So they can't bring the dog, because your BM will have to leave the reception or something.

I like animals, but I really believe there are appropriate places for them and inappropriate places (just like children). I was at the grocery store the other day and someone tied their dog outside (which is marginally better than bringing the dog in the store, which I've also seen), but the dog was barking the ENTIRE time the owner was in the store. I just don't see how that person thought it was a good idea to bring their dog who was obviously not well trained/had anxiety issues with them, rather than just leaving the dog at home for less than an hour.

I'm having trouble thinking of a place that might be MORE inappropriate for a dog than a wedding. Also, when people come up and pet the dog, wouldn't that tip them off that he's not a service animal? When service animals are on "duty" they can't be pet or distracted.

FutureMrsMDJahnke

Even if they are technically lying...it does sound like they might have a bit of anxiety...due to the dog! If it was me...I'd probably let them bring it...because I am all for not upsetting the future inlaws. Are people really deathly allergic to dogs? I've never heard that...but if you have a friend that IS allergic that could be a good excuse to give to the future inlaws!

MarissaY

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiances-parents-bringing-their-dog?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecc7bdc4-c29e-42f6-b8c9-143c6d459ab5Post:9e076b77-29cb-4570-9874-f4bed63dc399">Re: Fiance's parents bringing their dog</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Fiance's parents bringing their dog : It actually sounds like they DO have anxiety, about leaving her alone for a few hours. I wouldn't let the dog come. Do they REALLY want to be preoccupied with taking care of the dog all night? Also, would they be bringing the dog to the ceremony? No, just no.
Posted by bree4305[/QUOTE]

Sooooo OT, but I just sent you a message because I love your signature picture, lol.

TransientBeauty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fiances-parents-bringing-their-dog?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecc7bdc4-c29e-42f6-b8c9-143c6d459ab5Post:53024d4d-90d3-409d-b0b0-3660788c9c80">Re: Fiance's parents bringing their dog</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow!!! Thank you all for the thoughtful responses!!!! You are all absolutely right. I am very uncomfortable with the idea that they abused the regulations around service animals, and by allowing them to bring the dog it would be condoning that behavior, which I think is very wrong. I was thinking about all the other issues that could come up, and it would definitely make other guests uncomfortable (most of all, my own mom, who I know would think it is ridiculous and make a huge deal of it!). I told my fiance about all the responses I got on here, and he said in the end if I don't want the dog there he is happy to simply tell his parents that, and we don't need to justify it. <strong>I asked him to present it as a joint decision we made together.</strong> So, he's going to tell them no. His parents are nice people (just a little nutso about their dog), so I think they'll understand and won't harbor any bad feelings. This was was my gut feeling in the first place, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy to tell them no. Thank you all so much!!
Posted by kchase622[/QUOTE]

I think that's the right call to make. Present it as a joint decision but be kind about it. You don't need to validate your decision but if they ask you can simply tell them it's a logistical nightmare(which it is)
As a courtesy, if you're ever online and think of it you can simply google in home dogsitters in your area and forward the info to them. It'd take 10 minutes tops and help smooth over any potential ruffled feathers. But I wouldn't go out of your way to find a way to help them out in this particular issue.