Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Etiquette Forum
Does Grooms family pay for alcohol at wedding?
My family is paying for our very traditional wedding in a church in hawaii. His family is paying for the rehersal dinner of course. But my MOH said its customary for his family to pay for the bar at the reception.
Please advise!
Thank you,
Caroline
Laguna Niguel, Ca
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Does Grooms family pay for alcohol at wedding?
ttc chart
BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
Our Story MAJORLY UPDATED 8/6/09
Wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?
[QUOTE]Nowadays I think it's more customary for people to pay for their own weddings, unless the bride or groom's family OFFERS to pay for something.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
I agree with this, we paid for our own bar. And everything else.
OP, your parents are paying for the "wedding"? If they've offered, clarify exactly what it is they are offering.
40/112
in that scenario, then i think that the grooms family would pay for the alcohol at the reception.
but unless this agreement was reached by both familes, i dont want OP to march up to her FIL's and say, great, you guys are paying for the booze, adn then plan accordingly.
[QUOTE]Nowadays I think it's more customary for people to pay for their own weddings, unless the bride or groom's family OFFERS to pay for something.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
That is true. We waited until my H's parents came to us and said "we'll take care of the rehearsal dinner and bar at the reception". Up until that day came, we just worked under the assumption that we would pay for it ourselves.
Ditto PP. Salt and Dani said it best.
"It's shart week." -georgiabride
"This post is seriously retarded." -Stackeye210
Miss
Mrs & ZOMG we built a howse!
being healthy. blog.
Don't expect or ask them to pay for anything. If they offer, fine, you can take them up on it.
My IL's paid for the RD and that helped us tremendously. I wasn't expecting them to do that, but they found a way to pay for it. We paid for our own wedding and reception.
Yes, that is the "traditional" way, and my parents did that (rehearsal dinner & bar) for my brother's wedding about 8 years ago.
For ours, my parents were prepared to pay for much of the wedding--dress, reception hall, food, & videographer. H's parents/stepparents weren't in a position to pay for the traditional things, but his dad & stepmom did our photography as our gift (they are professionals) and his mom & stepdad gave us a very generous gift to cover our honeymoon. H & I paid for a lot of other stuff as I made all decorations, favors, flowers, jewelry etc. H paid for the rehearsal dinner, and in the end, my dad offered to cover the bar cost as well.
He'd had a significant amount of money put away for years for just this day, and we did so well budgeting and DIY, that covering the bar wasn't a problem and we got an amazing check to put in our savings after. Not a gift, just what we hadn't used to pay for WR stuff. But not everyone's parents can do that. We were very grateful my parents could, and we were not mad or upset that his parents could not. Plan on paying for it yourselves, and if someone else offers, wonderful.
One way we saved money on the bar tab was serving beer & wine (& soda) only. We did red & white wine, and light & dark beer. It was great, I heard no complaints.
[QUOTE]Only if they offer.
Posted by NillaWafer10[/QUOTE]
Exactly.
Traditionally, they did. The same tradition decrees that the bride lives at home until her wedding, though, and that the Groom's family pay for the flowers and RD as well. It's pretty rare that people follow those traditions to the letter anymore. If they offer, you're free to accept, but if they don't, you'll need to pay for it yourselves. Please don't ask.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
Yea, this tradition is not so much alive anymore. I expected that the FI and I would be footing the bill for everything, so I was grealy surprised when my parents offered to pay for catering and his offered to pay for the photographer. Now, we just have more money to save for after the wedding. As well, I always like to think that if my parents or his got into a financial bind I would have the resources to not make them feel like jerks for ruining my wedding, because we don't have the funds.
My sister's in-laws took care of the RD and flowers, but not the bar (not that anyone expeceted them to). My MIL did not contribute anything, DH and I took care of the flowers, officant and the RD (all known to be traditions things the groom takes care, but none are required.)
But like everything else, unless they offer, you can assume you are paying for it yourself.
Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
my planning blog