Disagreements on alcohol at reception

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_disagreements-alcohol-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ed2aebe4-e003-4b3d-87c5-17b4147221e7Post:f60c17a6-de5b-421c-80ac-f6e18468dbac">Re: Disagreements on alcohol at reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it would be absurd to limit the actions of an entire reception of people just because two people might have a problem with it.  It isn't like you want to sacrafice small kittens and they are opposed to it, its frikkin alcohol.  They can hate it.  They can choose to not imbibe.  But they can't honestly expect an entire receptions drink menu to cater to them and their moral views.  And a cocktail hour with no cocktails is ridiculous.  It's in the name of the hour! Plus also, your parents are paying.  Thats the trump card.  Sorry In laws. 
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

Exactly.  Your FI's parents are free to NOT drink.  Just like they're free to not drink any other time they set foot in an establishment or home where alcohol is served.  Just because they don't doesn't mean that others can't.  Especially since they're not paying for it.  Personally, I wouldn't even give in to the soft bar request.  That's the same as brides who are veg and believe they shouldn't serve any meat.  As long as you're not serving alcohol to an 8 year old, it's legal.  People get to drink.

julia.e.newton

i'm having a similar problem....except my FI's entire family is against drinking, and my parents refuse to compromise at all.
  i agree whoever is paying gets the final say (in this case, it is mostly my parents), but i don't think being a good host means just doing what you want and not considering the opinions and beliefs of half your guests.  *sigh*  i am very surprised and disappointed that my parents are acting like this.

MyNameIsNot

  I'm troubled by his parents trying to push their beliefs on my family

This is pretty much the long and short of it.  Your parents are paying, they should have all the alcohol they want to host.  It's incredibly presumptuous for your FILs to try to force your parents to bow to their preferences at an event your parents are hosting.

If I drink and you don't, here's the compromise.  You don't take away my wine, and I won't force you to drink any. 

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_disagreements-alcohol-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ed2aebe4-e003-4b3d-87c5-17b4147221e7Post:00e042f3-386d-4b27-b6db-297cb4f88dbb">Re: Disagreements on alcohol at reception</a>:
[QUOTE]i'm having a similar problem....except my FI's entire family is against drinking, and my parents refuse to compromise at all. :(  i agree whoever is paying gets the final say (in this case, it is mostly my parents), but i don't think being a good host means just doing what you want and not considering the opinions and beliefs of half your guests.  *sigh*  i am very surprised and disappointed that my parents are acting like this.
Posted by julia.e.newton@gmail.com[/QUOTE]


I think for many who believe in hosting alcohol though, the issue is that they are OFFERING something to all the guests but not forcing it on them.  It's there for the taking.

And if they were to take away what they're hosting to please one half, they're irritating the other half who expect it.   And the simple solution is for people who don't drink to understand that they're attending a function hosted by others so therefore they can choose to partake or not to partake.

Unless the alcohol is the ONLY thing available to the guests, I don't understand how that's being bad.

Goldlie11

I'm not even sure I believe that anyone would really say this.  I mean it's not as if your FI's parents are paying and don't believe in alcohol.   It's really none of their business what others are doing.  

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_disagreements-alcohol-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ed2aebe4-e003-4b3d-87c5-17b4147221e7Post:f4e2a866-3188-4776-b179-d16f5d198a47">Re: Disagreements on alcohol at reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not even sure I believe that anyone would really say this.  I mean it's not as if your FI's parents are paying and don't believe in alcohol.   It's really none of their business what others are doing.  
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

Oh, I believe people would say it.  In my hometown, that wouldn't be uncommon at all.  What's funny is, the people who are most bothered by public drinking CLAIM to not drink at all.  But typically the men do drink - when they're home, or on a mens only outting, away from public view.  My hometown is overwhelmingly Baptist, including a small Baptist college, and it's the socially accepted norm.  They want to be sure everyone knows they don't condone drinking/drunkenness.  It's bizzare.

jennifer6311

HELP ME!  I am getting married in 17 days, and MY parents (actually my mother) is the one who is absolutely forbidding that we serve alcohol (which we have modified many times, now only including champagne and beer).  She is VERY conservative, and I respect her beliefs and certainly don't want to offend or upset her, but my fiance and I both would like to have alcohol at our reception.  My future in laws don't seem to care about it at all, and my fiance is saying that it is unfair to not have what we want on this day.  My dad, interestingly enough, is all for the beer, but is now concerned (after much pressure from my mother) about the legal ramifications of serving it.

I just don't know what to do at this point...