Invite faux pas. What to do :(

Peacebone

When putting together my guest list, my mother sent me a spreadsheet that my grandmother keeps that has all of her side’s names and addresses on them. I used this spreadsheet when addressing my wedding invitations. Apparently my grandmother doesn’t update the spreadsheet very often, because I just found out that the address list contained my uncle’s ex wife’s name instead of his current wife. I’ve never met the ex wife, and have only met his current wife once or twice. I feel so awful. I should have realized that the name was wrong when I hand wrote the invitations, but I didn’t. The current wife is understandably upset. My mom has reached out to her to apologize and offer to send them another invitation. This was not done maliciously, and I’m not sure what I can do to convey how embarrassed and sorry I am to the current wife. Should I write a letter to apologize? I feel so awful!

s-aries8990

Can you give them a call and apologize? Or better yet, apologize in person (if distance allows)? I'd just be honest without throwing grandma under the bus; say you were using an old list and as you were making out the invite, something didn't feel right, but you trusted the list more than your gut. Maybe bring a botle of wine/cookies/some small hostess-type gift as a peace offering? It was an honest mistake and I think it's easier to convey earnest emotions when you can hear the voice of the other person and see their face.

Simply Fated

Oh hun it was an honest mistake. I would be truthful and apologize over the phone or even in person. Tell her you were working off an old list, you didnt realize how old it was and that you didnt even notice you were writing down the wrong name. If shes any sort of a good person, she'll understand it was an honest mistake.

cbrown828

Yes, apologize yourself and send a new invitation regardless. I hope that, as someone mentioned above, you will laugh about this in a few years. I have another thought as well- once you sincerely apologize, let it go. If she continues to be upset, that is on her. It was an honest mistake. Once you have done what you can to make it right, focus your energy elsewhere.

Jessie42613

PPs have it covered, but at the same time, don't beat yourself up over it.  It was an honest mistake with no ill will.  I would call and apologize/explain, but I wouldn't send a new invitation.

Loopyseven

Ditto the call and apologize.  If you have an extra invitation, I'd go ahead and send a new one addressed correctly.  I completely understand how you can get into auto pilot mode when you're copying down a list.  You just write what's there without even thinking about it.  Don't beat yourself up too badly.

Peledreamsofrain

Absolutely send the new invite, even if you don't make the call.  It acknowledges the mistake physically, and takes concrete action to try to rectify it.  I'm a person that believes actions speak louder than words.  Anyone can blow smoke at you, but if they really meant something, they'll do something to back it up.