children advice...

amyl2585

We are having an adults only reception. My niece and nephew with be in the wedding party. FI was not going to have his nieces (well great nieces) at the wedding. 
I just spoke with his sister, and they have planned for his great nieces to attend, and now I feel awful.
Do we invite his nieces and just have a our "immediate family" chilren only. Or tell his sister no children. For the record his great nieces have lived with his sister and are about the same ages as my niece and nephew.
I am just nervous that this will cause problems with the other 25 children who are definately not invited.

aggiebug

as long as all family children are invited I think you will be ok, buf it you are leaving out young cousins or other niece or nephews then I would nix allowing them to come. 

tidetravel

I wouldn't consider great neices to be "immediate family."  If those are the only kids in your family as a whole, I would say that it's OK, because you have a clearly defined cutoff - family, but you're treading in dangerous water.  Guests who had to make childcare arrangements because their children weren't invited will probably be upset if they find other kids there.

That being said, you need to weigh what is more important to you:  if the only way that FI's sister can attend is to bring the kids, and you noth want her there, then you have to allow the children to come, regardless of the possible consequences.

 
 

amyl2585

The young children that would not be invited are my cousins children. All my nieces and nephews are invited and after talking to FI his position is your niece and nephew are coming, my nieces should too.  I just can not invite all of my cousins children, it would total over 20 children.

tidetravel

Your FI has a valid point.  As long as all of the same people in the same "circles" are invited, you should be ok.  Just don't call it an adult reception, because at that point, it's not.

amyl2585

I also forgot to mention we are providing a babysitter for parents that are traveling.  I am paying my maid of honors sister and her friend to come and watch children. I will order pizza and rent a few movies for them.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ed7ba936-9e3b-46b7-b4b6-0583dac734ddPost:ca1a3987-0ad0-4494-bae6-f937acd4a36e">Re: children advice...</a>:
[QUOTE]I also forgot to mention we are providing a babysitter for parents that are traveling.  I am paying my maid of honors sister and her friend to come and watch children. I will order pizza and rent a few movies for them.
Posted by amyl2585[/QUOTE]
Not the brightest plan.  Are they certified in childcare?  Insured?  Licensed?  How many kids will they be watching?  What are their ages?

I hope that you don't expect parents to be OK with leaving their kids with a stranger.  It's a nice thought, but not the best way to go about it.  And, it seems to me that you could be held liable if something should go wrong.

quotequeen

If your neices get to be there, and FI considers his great neices to be neices because they lived with his sister, then I think they should get to come as well.

banana468

If your neices and nephews get to be there, why isn't there an exception made for the children who are equally close to the groom?

You can still make the cutoff there with no issue.

arv266

No issue as they are family.