Can a flower girl be a woman?

jenmk04

HiI have a couple of girl friends would like involved in my wedding and I don't have a little girl to be a flower girl.  Has anyone heard of a woman (30ish) taking the job instead?My nephew is will be 1 1/2 years by the time we get married and will be my ring bearer so they could walk to together.Thoughts?Jen

danieliza1127

I don't think it's a good idea.  If you want to include your girl friends, either ask them to be bridesmaids or Ushers, or just let them be honored guests.  You can't include everyone in your wedding party, you have to have some guests.  I would be insulted to be asked to be a flower girl, or at least embarrassed.

ffmaid

FG is for little girls say 2-12 at 18 months your nephew might not be walking that far or very very likely to be too shy to do this. Honestly as a 33 year old I would consider it a huge insult to be asked to be a FG in a wedding although I loved doing it at say 6 If good enough friend to want her in WP have her be a bm if not reader or just guest

mbcdefg

You don't NEED a flower girl and a ring bearer, remember. And remember that it's not really a "job" because these kids typically serve no purpose other than to look cute - ring bearers very rarely carry the real rings, and many flower girls are not allowed to drop petals because of the ceremony site's rules. So don't round someone up just to fill an empty slot. I don't see a problem with an adult being a flower girl or ring bearer ... if they volunteer. Here's a pic of an adult man as "flower girl" who seemed to enjoy it: http://offbeatbride.com/2008/08/adult-male-flower-girlBut I think you might risk insulting her if you ask her out of nowhere to be the flower girl. So I'd proceed with caution if you decide to ask her - really think about her personality first. I think it's fine to ask a friend if she would mind escorting the ring bearer down the aisle - you don't need to give her a title, or you can just list her in the program under "Wedding Party" or do something like, "Tyler Smith, ring bearer ... escorted by Ms. Nancy Andrews, friend of the bride." Also, for a 1 1/2 year old, remember that he might be nervous walking down the aisle, especially if he's not familiar with your friend. He might be better suited walking with his own mother or father, or being carried by one of them. Be prepared for a possible meltdown once he sees all those eyes staring at him and camera flashes going off (not saying he WILL start screaming, but it happens to even the most well-behaved kids).

duckie1905

I would be pretty offended if I was asked to be an adult flower girl.  I wouldn't appreciate being given a job typically reserved for a child and I also really wouldn't enjoy being escorted by a 2 year old. You don't have to have a flower girl. You also don't have to include all your friends in the ceremony.  Being invited as a guest is an honor too.

Jamilynn627

I can't think of any situation where I wouldn't think a flower woman would look out of place. I'd skip it. Being a guest is being involved. I think they may be more appreciative of not having the "honor" of flower woman.

trix1223

I'd think it was really, really weird.

aerinpegadrak

mbc hit on it: It's perfectly fine if it's their idea.  If someone asked me to be their flower girl, I'd probably assume they'd never been to or seen a wedding, and only had the vaguest of ideas how the whole thing works.You don't have to give all of your friends roles in the wedding.  I would presume that all of your guests are invited because you are close to them; if you gave every one of them a role in the ceremony, there wouldn't be anyone in the audience.  Just asking them to attend is plenty.  You can also include them on the guest list for any pre-wedding parties that get thrown for you.

Cupidsmyth

I see a lot of people who like to stick to traditional things for weddings on these boards... I say do what you think is right for YOUR special day. I asked a friend of mine who is 19 to be our ring bearer and our cord holder (handfasting ceremony is being performed). She was honored because she wanted to have a special part in the wedding. And our flower girl is my FH daughter. So those two are going to walk down the aisle together. I see no problem with asking them to be a part of your WP. I am just not into pulling off a traditional wedding. I keep getting told that it's my day and I have to do what is right for us. If you think it's right and they would be honored to do it, then by all means ask away. You could always ask both (if there are two) and have your ring bearer all walk in together. I would feel better about being asked to be a "flower girl" than being asked to seat people or to attend the guest book. Maybe ask them to be your flower ladies instead of flower girls.

SpookyKiwi

I personally see no reason to be insulted since the actual job your are doing is honestly more involved than a bridesmaid - after all, you get to spread flowers everywhere! However, you don't need to designate it a "flower girl." I'm probably going to have one of my bridesmaids act as flower girl in that they spread petals. I don't see it as any different than how in many weddings the Best Man is "ring bearer" [which we will probably also do.] You know your friend best however. While I would be happy to help a little kid down the aisle [or carry them, as would be likely at 18 mos.], some people would not enjoy the job at all. Perhaps mention the idea to your friend without specifically mentioning her and see how she takes it as a theoretical idea first? If she immediately rejects it, then don't ask! But if she seems to like the idea, then mention that you were hoping she would fill the role.

chryse

Spooky has the best idea. Mention it to your friend and offer the position if she likes it.  Maybe instead of "flower girl" you can do an alternative title that doesn't have "girl" in it. Are you having readings? Perhaps your friends could do a reading instead, if the "flower girl/ring bearer escort" idea isn't well received.You could also offer the position of "bride's assistant" (not as a day of coordinator, especially if you hire someone to do it) Someone not in the wedding party to help make decisions that you won't have time to make and see that everything is done (oversee the Day of coordinator if you have one) and use your camera to take pictures for you so you have something to look at while you wait for your pro pics.

audreya14

I think people would think this is a joke if they see adults walking down the aisle throwing flowers out of a basket. Are you having an aisle runner? See if the girls would like to unroll the aisle runner before your big entrance. I know this is typically reserved for groomsmen but you don't seem to mind bending the rules a bit. Or have them hand out ceremony programs.