How would you respond to this?

lmills730

na

soontobehimes

just biitch-slap her.

lmills730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-respond-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef25cb2a-6812-4380-ab0b-e59654cfe1a5Post:c33df2fb-72c1-429d-83de-dca314ce94aa">Re: How would you respond to this?</a>:
[QUOTE]just biitch-slap her. :)
Posted by soontobehimes[/QUOTE]

thats what i wanted to do lol.

akhensley81

I would tell her that she's required to wear bermuda shorts and a hawaiian shirt.

wadingmoose

I would've probably ignored it.  Or said "oh.  That sounds nice."  Because I really am a spineless wimp.

georgia_bride09

Well, she was rude for saying that about your mother, which would personally bother me more than her saying something about the beach shindig. At this point, it's too late to say anything, but if she always says stuff like that, then I'd have FI tell her to keep her rude comments to herself.

ohwhynot

I honestly can't think of any response that wouldn't have just made things worse.  I like your "she's the one who will look like an idiot" attitude and your ability to just it go.  You are so close to your wedding date - let it go and don't let it bother you one whit.  She sounds like a snob and a person I wouldn't like much. 

lmills730

haha she wouldn't be caught dead.

lmills730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-respond-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef25cb2a-6812-4380-ab0b-e59654cfe1a5Post:1cf4b949-0862-4807-a212-58fa636a886b">Re: How would you respond to this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, she was rude for saying that about your mother, which would personally bother me more than her saying something about the beach shindig. At this point, it's too late to say anything, but if she always says stuff like that, then I'd have FI tell her to keep her rude comments to herself.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

i didnt take offense to this because she dresses like a flashy teenager. her saying my mother is frumpy is pretty much a compliment.

rbtrumpet

"better wear sweat-proof makeup - sounds like you're going to be hot in the sun"

OK...I would probably just give her a look and not say anything...but that might slip out, depending on my mood

AmoroAgain

I guess I would have said, "Well, you'll be a bit overdressed for this "beach shindig" wedding of your son's, but hey, that's your decision." 

NuggetBrain

I probably would have told her better a frump than a desperate looking cougar wannabe because nobody talks sh*t about my momma.

barbbhoww

My MIL went that route.  She was ALL sorts of blinged out.  She was the one who looked out of place and we just laughed!

I Want Cake

I'd punch her in her neck, but that's just me.  How incredibly rude of her!  If she mentions your "beach shin-dig" again, definitely call her out on her snobbery.  Not all of us can get married at The Plaza, and some of us like "beach shin-digs."

lmills730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-respond-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef25cb2a-6812-4380-ab0b-e59654cfe1a5Post:7a98e545-12f0-40ae-8cc1-5de106d9352f">Re: How would you respond to this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I probably would have told her better a frump than a desperate looking cougar wannabe because nobody talks sh*t about my momma.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]


lol. in my head, i said something to this effect. i cant wait to see what this dress looks like. i am sure it highlights her new chest :) i was and still am trying to be the bigger person by not saying anything at all and letting her make a fool of herself if she wants to.

Sunshine9463

Whoa. "Beach shin-dig?" I'd have been hurt too. Sounds so condescending.

The issue isn't the way she'll be dressing, but how she approached you about it.
I might have said something to her in the moment, like "well, that was a little harsh."

At this point, though, I'd let it go.

mandysmear

i think i would have probably ignored it. 

lmills730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-respond-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef25cb2a-6812-4380-ab0b-e59654cfe1a5Post:c490cfd1-067c-468c-bb29-be475d60f506">Re: How would you respond to this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd punch her in her neck, but that's just me.  How incredibly rude of her!  If she mentions your "beach shin-dig" again, definitely call her out on her snobbery.  Not all of us can get married at The Plaza, and some of us like "beach shin-digs."
Posted by I Want Cake[/QUOTE]


exactly. we wanted it on the beach.

lmills730

well at least the concensus is to ignore it, since thats what I have done so far. I dont even think its worth FI mentioning to her, because it would just let her know that she bothered me with her comment.

I am glad to hear that others' MILs dressed "sparkly" too!

Juxtaposition00

I would have gone the silent route.  My mom dresses frumpy, and I know it. But I don't care, and if your FMIL cares so much, then she needs to get some hobbies. The only thing I would maybe ask her would be if I had offended her in some way to make her say such hurtful things about my day.  This is more passive, and would probably match her passive attack quite nicely.

lmills730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-respond-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef25cb2a-6812-4380-ab0b-e59654cfe1a5Post:8f59783a-fa36-4b52-8f10-a4fca0cfb75a">Re: How would you respond to this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would have gone the silent route.  My mom dresses frumpy, and I know it. But I don't care, and if your FMIL cares so much, then she needs to get some hobbies. The only thing I would maybe ask her would be if I had offended her in some way to make her say such hurtful things about my day.  This is more passive, and would probably match her passive attack quite nicely.
Posted by Juxtaposition00[/QUOTE]

she makes snide comments like this about all aspects of her life. she is just a little bitter that her son is happy (his FFIL remarried a while ago and FI is very close with FSMIL) and in a good relationship and she is alone. She spent a lot of the week here sneering at the responses on match.com and asking us "WHY so-and-so thought he was good enought to try to reach out to her"

etc.

Juxtaposition00

Awww... cute old bitter people.... I hope to be just like them some day!!!!!!! Just accept that life doesn't match her standards, and deal. Then secretly imagine pushing her down the stairs every once in a while after having a nice glass of wine.  Your relationship will be smooth sailing.

Kristin&eric

i wouldnt bring it up again.

lmills730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-respond-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef25cb2a-6812-4380-ab0b-e59654cfe1a5Post:1f245144-52d9-491a-b965-a109ddd8c1be">Re: How would you respond to this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Awww... cute old bitter people.... I hope to be just like them some day!!!!!!! Just accept that life doesn't match her standards, and deal. :) Then secretly imagine pushing her down the stairs every once in a while after having a nice glass of wine.  Your relationship will be smooth sailing.
Posted by Juxtaposition00[/QUOTE]


good thing FI is a wine distributor. plenty of that around for just such an occasion.

NuggetBrain

My MIL is a sweetheart and I love her to death, but even her dress choice was a little....questionable.  I think it's just something all MILs do.

lmills730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-respond-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef25cb2a-6812-4380-ab0b-e59654cfe1a5Post:f2b80cae-b91e-48e8-a494-c063ab7930d2">Re: How would you respond to this?</a>:
[QUOTE]My MIL is a sweetheart and I love her to death, but even her dress choice was a little....questionable.  I think it's just something all MILs do.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]


now that you mention that, FI and i attended a wedding last month and were shocked when my friend's MIL showed up in a pink mermaid sparkly prom-like dress.

ledalia

Her chosen outfit sounds like something my grandmother, who considers herself very Marilyn Monroe-eque and fabulous, would wear. I love my grandmother but she always wears something ridiculous to family weddings. It's kind of a joke now and I can't wait to see what she picks for mine! Your FMIL's outfit sounds over the top and completely inappropriate for the occassion, and I'm sure you will get the last laugh in the end. Don't let her make you feel bad about your wedding!

AmoroAgain

My MIL wore a bright blue tent dress with fish on it. 

lmills730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-respond-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef25cb2a-6812-4380-ab0b-e59654cfe1a5Post:59a612ea-a5a4-40e9-9b2f-3d0958e58642">Re: How would you respond to this?</a>:
[QUOTE]My MIL wore a bright blue tent dress with fish on it. 
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

OMG!

Juxtaposition00

I'll have to make a note of this if I ever have a child who is getting married.  I'm thinking something neon green with the back cut out of it and maybe some purple tutu fabric on the outside of the skirt, just to give the dress a little something extra.

lmills730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-respond-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef25cb2a-6812-4380-ab0b-e59654cfe1a5Post:1e9ece31-8ac7-41ce-880b-b2d1dd56870a">Re: How would you respond to this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll have to make a note of this if I ever have a child who is getting married.  I'm thinking something neon green with the back cut out of it and maybe some purple tutu fabric on the outside of the skirt, just to give the dress a little something extra.
Posted by Juxtaposition00[/QUOTE]

i was thinking if my child was having a beach shin-dig, i would just come in my bikini.