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erika_j

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mrsamyjones

Why not indicate to the bartender just not to serve her? Seems easier to me than hurting your mom.

EDIT: Plus she has nearly 2 years to change her tune. You may want to hold off on these decisions.

ThePinkSuperhero

Would having a dry wedding help?  I also think your situation might call for a destination wedding, or some other smaller celebration that makes it less like she's being personally left out and more like you're choosing to do something that might naturally exclude her anyway.

lisarose7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-alcoholic-mother-of-bride-not-attend-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f0142259-b951-4ef5-85bb-928e0f506cb8Post:0d137def-2e14-47e5-8667-2dcc98e16e9d">Re: How to ask my alcoholic mother of the bride not to attend my wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why not indicate to the bartender just not to serve her? Seems easier to me than hurting your mom.
Posted by mrsamyjones[/QUOTE]

This, exactly.  Get the venue staff on your side and you shouldn't have anything to worry about.  If she wants to get drunk, she'll have to leave to get alcohol.

Nebb

I think not inviting your mom to the wedding is a pretty drastic solution to this problem. There are far better options available to you, so why did you choose this as the solution?

tidetravel

You have over a year and a half to go.  I wouldn't worry about this now.  So many things can change in that time.  Maybe try and focus on helping her as much as you can now.

louisvillebride21

This is just a guess, but if she knows its a dry wedding, she'll bring her own.

Koopa17

Depending on how long her mom has been an alcoholic, maybe a year and a half isn't that far off.  If she's been an alcoholic for 5 or 10 plus years, a year and a half away doesn't seem like a long time to me, and I would be worrying about it too. 

erika_j

Ladies, thank you all so very much.  This is a tough subject for the whole of my family, and I truly appreciate your input.  I think I may go with mrsamyjones' suggestion to notify the bartenders not to serve her. 

Nebb

Is it possible she will make a scene if she is refused a drink? Thats a possibility you need to be prepared for.

dizzinea

can you have an alchoal free reception? we are doing no alchoal because my dad has liver disease and it seemed in bad taste, we are having juice and soft drinks, and virgin drinks instead

mocha beans

Honestly, I'd talk to a counselor that specializes in addiction about the issue.  Al-anon would be a good thing too, to help you learn ways to deal with her disease.  I do think it's worth worrying about now, but more in the sense that your mom needs help with her daily life; dealing with the wedding can come later.

NatandIsaac

I think that having a dry wedding where she could show up drunk, or serving her watered-down drinks, is just enabling her addiction. Be honest. "I love you mom. I wish that you could celebrate my wedding with me, but I cannot invite you unless you help for your alcoholism."