Wedding Etiquette Forum

Parent speech?

My fiancé and I are paying for our own wedding, so does this mean that at the reception we can omit a Father of the Bride or Parent's Speech?

I'm not trying to leave them out, but if none of the parents are the ones hosting the wedding, why would they be thanking everyone for coming or what would they even say in their speeches? Furthermore, my future FIL is terrified of public speaking and wouldn't agree to say anything anyway even if we asked so it would be left up to my future MIIL. I'm not trying to be cold about it, but I just want to know what people's opinions are on it. 

Re: Parent speech?

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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Our fathers said something because they wanted to. It doesn't matter who paid how much and for what. Leave it up to them.
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    I think the father(s) speeches are less about who's paying and more about sentimentality. Maybe they stemmed from the tradition of paying and hosting the wedding, but I know that my father would be heartbroken if he couldn't give his speech (he's apparently crafting a POWERPOINT... oh lawd) and FFIL hinted that he'd like to give one if we'd allow it, and we said yes, of course.

    As long as guests have food and drink and the speeches are short and sweet, I don't think father speeches can hurt - but they're not required (as long as the dads won't be hurt!).
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    A powerpoint! wow! that's a first. I wish I could see that. i actually bet it'll be awesome!

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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    We didn't do any father speeches.  The BM & H both gave speeches.

    H wanted to do something since we were hosting and we had a lot of folks that traveled from OOT; he wanted to thank everyone for coming.


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    Parents speeches are never a requirement even if they are hosting. People tend to get bored with speeches anyway. My dad spoke for 20 minutes at my sister's wedding, even I as the MOH, had to step outside for air.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    Our parents didn't speak. H and I gave a very brief welcome and thank you, and BM and MOH did their toasts during dinner.
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    We paid for our own wedding, but since we had so many out of towners and we had the wedding in my hometown, my dad gave a very short "welcome to Pittsburgh" then we continued with the maid of honor and best man speeches. 
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    Sweet, thank you guys so much. It makes me feel better to know that the paren't speeches aren't really seen as a requirement. I just don't want to leave anybody out or anything. I don't think my parents will care either way and his will probably be relieved.
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