Wedding Etiquette Forum

Also iniviting some to ceremony and some only to reception

  My man and I really wanted to elope but that is not happening due to some family members who will not stand for that. We are only having parents, grandparents, siblings, and my children at the ceremony. We will invite extended family and friends to a reception after or later in the day.

 On the invitations for reception only guests do we put something to the effect of....

 You are invited to celebrate A and T's marriage at a reception to be held on 10-11-12 at 6pm

 I just want it to be clear and I don't want people to assume they are coming to the wedding itself only to get there and be disapointed that we already did the deed.

Re: Also iniviting some to ceremony and some only to reception

  • I don't know the wording exactly but I have heard of brides including that the couple was married in a private ceremony at an earlier time or something. . . . OP, if this is your plan just make sure that you are in fact really having a private ceremony and a later reception, and that it doesn't turn into a tiered wedding, which is a HUGE etiquette no no.
  • Are you getting married at a church? last time i checked churches were public property and anyone can attend your ceremony.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • This sort of changes my answer to your invitation question below.  If you are truly having the larger reception the same day as your ceremony, I'm not sure you can get away with not using your last name on this invite.  This invite will be going out to a larger group of people, so they may not automatically know who it is referring to when they receive it, with only first names on it.  And you also shouldn't be sending out an invitation to celebrate the marriage of Mr & Mrs John Doe (or connect yourself to FI's last name) prior to your actual ceremony.

    And while having a small ceremony with a larger reception all in the same day is fine, please make sure your wedding will not be a tiered event, which is considered rude as PP mentioned.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_also-iniviting-some-to-ceremony-and-some-only-to-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f0e19ba3-14a5-478c-b200-a2f3794be170Post:90433a70-c0f1-4856-bd9f-34e0eaf4b643">Re: Also iniviting some to ceremony and some only to reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are you getting married at a church? last time i checked churches were public property and anyone can attend your ceremony.
    Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

    While this is true, having a private ceremony with just immediate family is totally acceptable.
    Assuming the couple does not widely spread the time and location of the ceremony it should be fine.

    If anyone "crashes" the ceremony they weren't invited to, it looks bad on them; not the couple.
  • Maybe something along the lines of:
    Please join in celebrating the marriage of
    Rebecca Rolfe & John Smith
    on the 11th of October
    Two Thousand Twelve.

    Dinner, Drinks & Dancing will commence
    at five-thirty in the evening.
    (Or some time phrasing of your liking)

    I am not sure if you are having cocktail hour
    or not, but somehow you should get the word
    spread (if you're not), that dinner will be served
    at exactly X-o'clock, so that they make an effort
    to be punctual.

    By having an RSVP card that includes a meal
    choice, people [ i d e a l l y ] should get the hint/
    clue that this is for dinner only.

    If you're having a civil ceremony, it's understandable
    that you're not going to be able to accommodate everyone.
    If you're having a religious ceremony, word of mouth would
    be your safest option in getting the word spread that it is
    a "private" ceremony, but I think you'll be met with confusion
    or hurt feelings no matter what (but not necessarily everyone).





    Anniversary
  • In Response to Re:Also iniviting some to ceremony and some only to reception:[QUOTE]Are you getting married at a church? last time i checked churches were public property and anyone can attend your ceremony. Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

    1 If they don't tell anyone else where the ceremony is, then no one will be able to crash, which is what they would be doing. Technically most reception sites are public property also but you wouldn't just show up to a reception uninvited would you?

    2 Youre one of those people who show up places uninvited aren't you?
    158 Invited image | 68 will be there image |6 can't make it image | 84 still need to reply! image
    RSVP Deadline: 4/6/13
    4/26/13 March Siggy Challenge: Bridesmaid Dresses

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker
  •  I think we should be pretty safe from crashers. We would like to be married in the woods at home. Even if someone thought about crashing they would never find us, ha ha ha! We are just very private people and the thought of a bunch of people at our ceremony drives us nuts. I hated my last wedding because of that. If we lived in a state where you could do a self uniting marriage we would do it, of course his parents would be mad.
     
    Now it looks like we may have the reception on another day. We are planning to get married on a weekday so I think that will make things easier. CMGr I like your wording idea, it is straight and to the point. It makes it clear that it is a reception only.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards