Wedding Etiquette Forum

Sealed Invitations, forgot stamps on RSVP

Shoot me, I got ahead of myself and sealed all the wedding invitations without putting stamps on the RSVP envelops. How do I handle this? Try and gently unseal them all and glue them back together? Or just send my apologizes and put them in the mail?

Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. -Bob Marley

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Re: Sealed Invitations, forgot stamps on RSVP

  • Are they DIY invitations or professionally printed?  If they are DIY, you could just buy new envelopes.
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  • jrkjpfjrkjpf member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    Professionally printed

    Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. -Bob Marley

  • I think you need to find a way to include stamps, either by opening them and reapplying or buying new envelopes.
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Depending how strong the glue is, you may be able to hold it over steam (from a tea kettle?) and loosen it enough so that you can open it.  Then re-glue them back together afterwards.  But this may also mess up the outside of your envelopes if they get too wet.

    This stinks for you and I'm sorry!
  • I did the same on about 10 of our 150 invites... It's easy to get ahead of yourself!  At any rate, do you have extra envelopes?  If not, carefully steam it open and redo, or see if you can order some extra envelopes from wherever you go them?

    Good luck :)

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  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I've heard you can put them in the freezer and they will come unsealed. I've never tried it so I'm not sure if it'll work but I don't think it would hurt.
  • I'd defintely try to salavage the envelopes first since I'm assuming you probably stamped and addressed them first. I'd try steaming one over a pot of boiling water. Wrap the rest of the envelope *tightly* with a towel so that you only expose the part that is sealed. Use something sharp like a knife to try to work the seal lose. This should go okay. The glue will probably be ruined afterward, but that's okay. Use a bit of craft glue or whatever you have to re-seal them. Good luck. 
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  • I've also heard of putting them in the freezer.
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  • You're fine - just send them.  You haven't committed any breach of etiquette.  Most people do occasionally stamp a letter you know.

    Not to get all Kristin#s here, but RSVP cards are a relatively new thing.  Technically you're supposed to handwrite a letter to the sender letting them know whether you're coming or not.  


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  • jrkjpfjrkjpf member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    So, i called the vendor, they will send me new, but for $1 a piece, that will cost me over $100 for new. Soooo, would it be terribly bad to find some at say office max or somewhere else that are close to the same size?

    Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. -Bob Marley

  • I would agree: just send as-is and don't run the risk of ruining your beautiful invites by steaming/freezin/gluing whatever. I'm sure no one will refuse to attend just because you forgot to stamp the RSVP card. :-)
  • That's perfectly fine to not use their envelopes. 
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  • I say, at least TRY to open them up with steaming or freezing and see what happens to a couple of them.  You may be surprised at how easily they will open.  

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sealed-invitations-forgot-stamps-on-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f19270eb-fcdd-479e-8d19-a011d3754d24Post:8ff783e9-b36c-4bc8-a9e5-3a7dad2fec5f">Re: Sealed Invitations, forgot stamps on RSVP</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, i called the vendor, they will send me new, but for $1 a piece, that will cost me over $100 for new. Soooo, would it be terribly bad to find some at say office max or somewhere else that are close to the same size?
    Posted by jrkjpf[/QUOTE]
    Again I say, just send the damn invites.  I PROMISE you no one will care about spending their hard earned money on a stamp.  I know you're at the point where all of this seems like a really big deal, but it's not.
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  • egm900egm900 member
    500 Comments
    Freezing an envelope isn't going to damage it, I would try that first.  Steaming does work, but you have to be careful to not use too much steam, because the envelope can get damp.  You could get a handheld travel steamer for clothes, they're less than $30 and that way you could control where the steam is aimed better.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sealed-invitations-forgot-stamps-on-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f19270eb-fcdd-479e-8d19-a011d3754d24Post:0be2abab-000c-4279-8d5a-83bb824fb242">Re: Sealed Invitations, forgot stamps on RSVP</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sealed Invitations, forgot stamps on RSVP : Again I say, just send the damn invites.  I PROMISE you no one will care about spending their hard earned money on a stamp.  I know you're at the point where all of this seems like a really big deal, but it's not.
    Posted by amyb140[/QUOTE]

    I agree that this isn't a tragedy, but without the stamp, there will be MANY more follow up phone calls to make and I am sure there will be a handful of people saying "doesn't she know she is supposed to include a stamp for the RSVP?"  

    I woudn't spend 100 bucks on new envelopes... but, I'd give it a shot in trying to open a couple of them before I sent them out without the stamp.
  • Honestly, I'd probably just send them as is. No one is going to get their panties so badly in a wad over a stamp that they won't come.
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  • I'm with Amy that you can just send them. 

    If you want to try freezing a couple to see if it works go for it, because sticking them all in the freezer is WAY less labor intensive than carefully trying to steam each of them individually.  But if that doesn't work then stop worrying about it and just send them.  I've had to put a stamp on an RSVP before, it's not the end of the world.
  • Even if it was an honest mistake, I'd probably side eye this as well. 

    Try opening an envelope and resealing it with a glue stick. 

    You will end up with very few RSVP's sent back to you. People are slow to send those back WITH a stamp, so without one I have a feeling you're going to be making many phone calls.

    I'd try to find envelopes somewhere for cheap if opening them doesn't work. The sooner you try opening them, the better.
  • A friend of mine sealed her invites before postage went up and used the then-okay-but-not-anymore currency. She just - obviously at extra cost - send a mailing along with the invite to cover the extra postage.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sealed-invitations-forgot-stamps-on-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f19270eb-fcdd-479e-8d19-a011d3754d24Post:33bae372-1b9d-4668-aa34-bacb342fceda">Re: Sealed Invitations, forgot stamps on RSVP</a>:
    [QUOTE]A friend of mine sealed her invites before postage went up and used the then-okay-but-not-anymore currency. She just - obviously at extra cost - send a mailing along with the invite to cover the extra postage.
    Posted by tkddddddddd[/QUOTE]
    So she sent a separate letter with like a 2-cent stamp?  That's odd.  I'm thinking that most people weren't going to actually take that stamp and stick it on the RSVP.  I guess there's a better chance of that then noticing it was wrong and doing it themselves.  
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  • I would try to open them. People will notice. FI's cousin sent them without stamps and FMIL mentioned to us to make sure we put stamps on the envelopes.
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  • jrkjpfjrkjpf member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    I had FI shove them all in the freezer, it's going to be a long night lol
    Thanks for all the help, if this doesn't work, F-IT is the way I am going :)

    Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. -Bob Marley

  • jrkjpfjrkjpf member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited June 2012
    They are odd sized, closest I can find at a local store is 6x9

    Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. -Bob Marley

  • I would have just sent them.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • I'd make an effort to steam or freeze them open... but if that didn't work, I'd just send them. People can find a stamp! :)
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  • amy's correct here

  • If I saw a stamp missing, I might take that as a hint that I should call the couple to RSVP instead of mailing back an RSVP, but I'm weird like that.
    In the end, I'd probably just stick my own stamp on there, without even realizing the couple should have done that. I don't think it's a big deal, honestly.
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  • jrkjpfjrkjpf member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    We froze them, damaged about 20-30. I was unable to find identical envelopes anywhere local so i got what i could. And was up well past 1am lastnight trying to get these fixed. At this point, I don't want to see another invitation!

    Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. -Bob Marley

  • edited June 2012
    I'd try the freezer thing, but if that doesnt work, I say just mail them out! I mailed out 89 invitations, and got back 42 RSVPs  :/
    If I had to do things over, I would not have spent the extra money to buy matching RSVP cards, and have the RSVP envelopes professionally printed, and I would have saved money on the stamps. I ended up having to chase down over half of my guest list anyway,  wouldnt have made a difference if I had to chase down all of them, at least I would have had more $ in my pocket!  :)
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