Sticky Wicket

CassieeK

Hello, E!  I need help!

My family is going through some crazy shiit right now, and it has finally reached involving Trey and I directly.  We tried to stay out of it, but it found us. 

The other parts are not really relevant to where we come in, so I will spare those details. The parents of my flower girl and 1 of my ushers and I are no longer speaking. She is my cousin. She said some ugly things to me recently, and Trey came to my defense, telling her off with a lot of things he has wanted to say for quite some time.  Her response was to tell him that since he is not a member of our family, nothing he has to say matters or is relevant. Her husband jumped in to agree. Sorry, but that is a 1-way ticket out of my life as far as I'm concerned.  And this is not an isolated incident; it is the proverbial straw. 

I have no intention of ever having them in my life, including not inviting them to our wedding. Obviously, the flower girl is young and really won't even know what has happened.  We haven't been doing "flower girl things" yet, so it's not like she really knows that's coming up.  Her brother, however, is a teenager.  My dad says there is no way my cousin is going to let him participate b/c that's how she is. At his age, he should be able to make the choice for himself, but Trey and I know my dad is right.

My question is, what do I do as far as addressing it?  Just NOT? Should I just wait to see if he contacts US about it? 

Thanks in advance!

dumdumfroggie

Ugh.  That sounds terrible.  Sorry.

I'd probably just wait until he contacts you.  I think trying to make the first step in this situation would only make matters worse.

CassieeK

I've missed everyone!  Life on TK is way better than in the real world! 

Kate61487

My action would depend on your motivation.  If you want him to know that you still want him involved and are concerned about him thinking you're mad at him or something then I'd probably reach out to him.  If he's a teenager I'm guessing you could reach him by email or text or something without involving his parents.  I'd just send him a note and explain that your fight with his mother had nothing to do with him and you'd still love him to be an usher / attend the wedding, but understand if he doesn't feel that's a possibility.

If that's not a concern, and you're really just curious if he'll still want to come then you can just wait it out.

ski2play

Ugh, Cassie, my heart and thoughts go out to you.  Family stuff can be so UGLY!  My response depends on the age of the teenager.  If it is an older teen, say 15 and above, I would definately reach out to them via text or email.  Indicating that the current uproar has nothing to do with them and you want to still be a part of their life and you want them to still be a part of the wedding. 

With that being said, as this child's mom, you might get an even uglier reaction from your cousin.  Please be prepared for that.  Momma bears can be pretty protective.  As a good momma, she should rise above the pettiness and do what is right for her son, which is to foster a healthy relationship with you.  That will be easier said than done for her.

We have missed your pretty face around here.