Sister as groomsman??

jillandtravis

I am recently engaged, we have discussed our wedding party and I said I was planning on having my fiance's sister as a bridesmaid. Yesterday, my fiance's mother mentioned that my fiance wanted his sister to be a groomsman and stand on his side and wear a tux. He never told me because he thought I had it set in my mind what I wanted (I totally don't).  I am not sure how I feel about it, any thoughts??

LesPaul

It's fine.  She can stand with either of you.  My cousin's DH had a woman as his 'best man'.  She doesn't have to wear a tux, however (unless she wants to).  Also remember that the sides don't have to be even, so don't ask people to be in the WP just to fill in the numbers.

schwoebr

I agree with PP.....We are having a groomswoman, but she will wear what the bridesmaids are wearing. She will stand on his side though, and have a bout instead of a bouquet.

brookelynpaisley

She can be on either side, but you lost me at the part where she wears a tux. She can wear a black dress if you guys want so that she blends with the other guys on his side.

Calumet

I like the girl in a tuxedo/suit look.... as long as you let her wear a female one... women don't look good in men's unfitted tuxedos.

rubyjem00

My DH's sister stood on his side (and I had my best guy friend stand on my side). My SIL wore a black dress  and she looked great. I think a tux on her would have been a bit strange but she easily fit in with a black dress. I also agree with the suggestion that she could wear what the BMs are wearing.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sister-groomsman?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f28fadac-eaf1-4efe-ae48-cc6a7cf30d34Post:18a1ea49-178a-470f-9375-ddd352714ef0">Re: Sister as groomsman??</a>:
[QUOTE]I like the girl in a tuxedo/suit look.... as long as you let her wear a female one... women don't look good in men's unfitted tuxedos.
Posted by Calumet[/QUOTE]

Ditto.  I was the best woman in my best friend's wedding.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

My brother is going to be a bridesman. He's wearing the same tux as the groomsmen.

SarahPLiz

FI's best friend is his groomswoman. She will be wearing whatever dress she picks out, because she'd look really awkward in a tux. He doesn't have any other Wp members. It will be fine. He doesn't have an issue being totally surrounded by women

SparrowSong

It's fine. Mixed gender wedding parties are completely fine. Just call them honor attendants instead of bridesmaids and groomsmen and have the peopel you want standing with you in whatever arrangement you like. She can wear the same thing as the bridesmaids, or a black dress that blends more with a tux, or whatever. There are no rules. Do what works for you guys.

quotequeen

I agree, don't make her wear a tux unless that's what SHE wants and is comfortable in.  Two of FI's sisters are standing on his side, and they will be wearing the same dress as my girls in a different color.  My brother is standing on my side and will be wearing the same tux as the other guys.

cat1121

I was a groomsmaid for one of my oldest friends a few years ago. Having single gender attendents is completely antiguated and left over from times where people don't had single sex friends. Wedding attendents should be your nearest and dearest. Don't deprive your FH of having his nearest and dearest with him as he celebrates, gets ready, etc, just beause their bits don't match.You would never ask his brother to be on your side.

We initially talked about me being a bridesmaid, but honestly, while I knew his wife for a few years, I wasn't as close to her as him. He and I ultimately talked it out and decided that he wanted to spend those precious moments with me, instead of me with her, as far as the morning of his wedding, etc. We had some great talks that morning.

Bonuses: his other groomsmen were kind a split between slightly rowdy and unreliable and grown up and together. I was able to add some balance to the together part. The whole grooms party showed up to the church early, fed, sober and chilled out. The bride later thanked me for helping orchestrate that.

Do your groomsmaid a favor. Unless she's towards the masculine side of the gender continum (and wants to be seen that way and possibly outted) let her wear a dress. Girl tuxes are generally not comfortable or flattering unless she's already in the range of tomboy to queer, or rail thin. Ample breasts of hips of any sort just don't look good in straight cut lines.

I wore a black and silver corsetted strapless top that just happened to match the colors in the groom's vest and long black chiffon skirt. I got both at David's. She could also wear a black version of your bridesmaids dresses with your accent color as a waist sash/ribbon, etc. Think the seperates at Davids or the Alfred Angelo line and get dresses with accents for all.

BoxOfRocks

Ditto.  Although it's most fair if the cost of outfitting the BMs (dress, shoes, etc.) and the cost of outfitting the GMs are about equal.

thesuninherhead

I think that's totally fine (side note: she could wear a black dress rather than a suit if she wanted- I've seen that done before and it looked good), but I do find it a little odd that your FI didn't discuss this with you himself...

2dBride

We didn't have any groomsmen (what with the fact we were lacking a groom).  However, we did have a "dude of honor."  Civilization as we know it did not end.