Wedding Etiquette Forum

Trying not to be pushy....

BUT there are certain things that need to be done sooner rather than later, like hotel blocks, I'm trying to get my FMIL's opinion since our families have varying finances. I feel like everytime I talk to her I'm being pushy but I really just want to make things easy for them!
When we were batting around ideas for the RD it was like pulling teeth and now she thinks what she's doing isn't good enough, I love it! I tried to get her to price out some different options so she felt like she had enough information and if necessary, start saving!
I just want her and that side of the family to feel comfortable, happy and make everythng easy, maybe that's asking too much?

Re: Trying not to be pushy....

  • Tell your FI what you need and let him handle it.  Since it's his family, they'll probably take it better from him.
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  • Regarding the hotel block, why don't you have two options?  You can have one nicer hotel and one that's more budget friendly. 
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  • As for hotel blocks, just block rooms at two different hotels with different price points, or block rooms at one hotel, and list a couple more as well for those who don't want to stay at the one you've blocked (that's what I did).

    As for the rest, you and your FI need to sit down and tell her everything you've listed here. She's just trying to make sure you're both happy, I bet.
  • I'm trying to get a block at a less expensive venue, but I don't know if they would want to be by her house or by the wedding location....
  • I'd block one closer to the wedding venue.

  • Not knowing your situation, I generally would prefer a room block be near to the reception site (preferably with a shuttle and/or within walking distance).  That is more important to me as a guest even more so than price point. 
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited September 2010
    You don't have to run every minor detail or choice by your parents or his.  Something like hotel room blocks shouldn't be that difficult.  Pick one in a medium price range and then also include info on a lower price range hotel when you give the info to your guests.  They'll decide what they can afford.  His Mom doesn't necessarily know everyone's finances so maybe she feels at a loss as to what to tell you.  Also, I think guests would prefer to stay closer to the reception venue if you are having an evening wedding with alcohol.

    As far as the RD goes, if she is planning it, let her handle it.
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  • Catwoman708Catwoman708 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited September 2010

    Well, you ARE being kind of pushy.  Maybe not "pushy" exactly, but impatient?

    Your wedding is nine months away.  It's an added courtesy for your guests to reserve blocks of rooms and try to get them a discount, but it's not something you "have" to do, and you don't "have" to get your FILs input on it. 

    Perhaps different venues, in different price ranges would make sense. Or only book the less expensive option, because those that can afford and want nicer won't be as concerned about price or getting a discount.  I'd book one closer to the reception site, or halfway between the FIL's home and reception site.  Your FILs will be very busy with wedding related events and the RD, and won't have much time for entertaining company or drop ins the day before the wedding.

    Don't involve yourself in the planning of the RD.  If your FMIL is hosting it, the details are up to her.  It will essentially be taking a large group of people out to dinner at a restaurant, or hosting them for a casual dinner party or cook out at home.  This does not need to be planned 9 months in advance, it can wait until a few weeks before the wedding to nail down a few details.

  • I have been staying out of the RD.

    And normally, I would agree that hotels aren't that big of a deal, and I don't need to run every detail by FMIL, and I don't. But the issue is that because of that part of the family's finances, I want to make sure I am accomodating them. I am just trying to make their trip here easier!
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