KPS

LDYGTR13

#1) I'm confused - what I'm gathering is that they think it's rude for the wife not to ask if it's okay to take their husband's last name?? Is that right?? I find that strange.

#2) I tooootally understand. When H and I were at Disney he was all "OMG KIDS SUCK!" when kids were crying etc. I know he wants them, but it's off putting to hear. *big hug*

#3) Woah. I have no idea what I'd do/feel in that situation. *hugs*

#4) That kitten is adorable - however, no human looks that cute with a broken leg. You'll be okay. We've all been to events we weren't thrilled about.

#5) I wanna know why your SIL doesn't want to be your friend? My SIL and I get along okay, but she's not my "friend" per se. I dont think I'd wanna be her buddy lol - probably because I'm not comfortable around drugs and she and her friends do a lot of them (sadly, I just realized this goes for BOTH of my sister in laws).

#6) I couldn't keep 20 accounts straight.

#7) I can't imagine how you feel. She's "your" girlfriend? Does your H know how you feel? Thats awkward...I'm sorry =(

#8) My ex called me his ex WIFE's name the first time I went down on him (oooh, I'm a hoebag...fellatio!!!) I cried and never did it again (and we dated for 3 years lol). I feel your pain.

annakb8

The name thing: I'm really confused about that. Who owns a name? I don't consider any of my names to be my property.

Genital warts: Stop blaming yourself. Pretty much everyone who has had sex with more than one person (or with someone who has had more than one partner) has HPV. They don't all have warts, but I guarantee you you know tons of people with HPV. Just get regular pap smears, it isn't a big deal.

ETA: Obviously HPV can be a very big deal, but if you are proactive about your reproductive health it shouldn't be a big deal for you.

ahhhitsshannyn

1. I am also confused by this. It is rude to assume that once you are married you can take his name? The H has to specifically ask? That just seems weird to me. I hope someone can explain, I just do not get it. Its like saying "I think its rude to assume we will move in when were married, I am waiting for him to ask."

2. I am sorry. It is definitely hard to hear you cannot have something even if you did not know if you wanted it. I hope you guys can figure it out

3. HAHA that kitty with the broken arm made me laugh. That is pretty extreme to say you hope you break your leg but I guess that is a valid excuse.

4. That sucks that SIL does not want to be friends but sometimes people just do not mesh. I know how it would be nice to be close, but sometimes it just does not work out. Maybe with time it will.

annakb8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f409e9a4-852c-44a4-b03b-c4364a1d20c1Post:7ff980ab-5082-442d-b122-9a1adb8ae5bb">KPS</a>:
[QUOTE] (oooh, I'm a hoebag...fellatio!!!)
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

LOL

RobotLegs

I really have no interest in being my SIL's friend.

RobotLegs

Oh, and H and I still  BOTH die a little inside when there is a crying baby at a restaurant (or similar situation). 

I don't like other people's kids, but I'll like my own.

kimheartsscott

That kitten is adorable.  

I can maybe see where the first one is coming from, like the family name is a big deal and they are being presumptuous by assuming they can just join the family in that way, but I don't agree with it.  Because you're getting married, you're already joining the family in a pretty big way.

annakb8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f409e9a4-852c-44a4-b03b-c4364a1d20c1Post:7655d0bc-baf7-42df-b59e-6ca51467b1f9">Re: KPS</a>:
[QUOTE]I really have no interest in being my SIL's friend.
Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]

I'm glad I don't have a SIL because I probably wouldn't want to be her friend. I think the fact that I have only sisters (well, and a MUCH younger brother) and FI has only brothers has made our wedding a lot easier.

mica178

Ldy makes me laugh.

aragx6

I don't get the name thing. Who is the owner? The whole family? Well if that's important in that family I'd guess the guy would ask permission before proposing.

The genital warts -- it sucks, but you'll never really know from whom they came. Get tested for all STDs yourself to ensure you're safe from serious complications and then move on. You're going to be together with your H for the rest of your lives. it doesn't matter.

The SIL -- I always feel bad for FI for being an only child bc it makes him really sad (and he's said he could NEVER have just one kid -- we'd adopt if we needed to) but I'll admit sometimes I'm glad. Maybe his siblings would be great, but maybe they'd be like his parents. Yikes.

Beachy730

As for the genital warts one, either of you could have carried the virus, or both of you.  1 in 4 people have it, and that stat will only keep rising.  You can contract it even while wearing condoms, and some people have the virus their whole lives without ever seeing or getting a wart, and some never know they have it.  It can also even be passed down to you at birth.  I'm not trying to down play an STD, but it's seriously not that big of a deal as long as you get regular pap smears and get the warts removed before they turn into cancerous cells.

Celles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f409e9a4-852c-44a4-b03b-c4364a1d20c1Post:7655d0bc-baf7-42df-b59e-6ca51467b1f9">Re: KPS</a>:
[QUOTE]I really have no interest in being my SIL's friend.
Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]

Me neither. I like my SIL, but I can't relate to her AT ALL.

I think the chick with the stripper girlfriend needs to kick H and the GF to the curb. I'm really, really sorry that your H is a douchecanoe, but accepting the other woman into a happy little threesome only reinforces their bad behavior. Lose them both; you don't need them.

aragx6

And the stripper is now their girlfriend thing? Did we talk about this already and I missed it? I don't know what to say other than I'm such a prude I have a hard time believing that's not MUD.

Open mariiages, three-ways, sure. But you are now together with the girl your husband cheated on you with? That's effed up. If it's true, and the poster really hates this girl then she sounds emotionally abused to put up with it. Do you think he'd leave if you stopped it?

ETA: OK folks are talking about this now... crazy sauce.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f409e9a4-852c-44a4-b03b-c4364a1d20c1Post:caea76c3-f542-4514-af09-83481d1b1cbf">Re: KPS</a>:
[QUOTE]Ldy makes me laugh.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

Mica makes me smile <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-sealed.gif" border="0" alt="Sealed" title="Sealed" />

ahhhitsshannyn

Yeah, wait a minute, I was confused by that one. There is like some sort of kinky sister wife thing going on?? No way, get rid of them both. If you hated her, why on earth would you welcome her into your relationship? I am sure you are better than that, leave both of them behind.

Beachy730

Yeah I just don't get the stripper turned GF one. 

LDYGTR13

I'm pretty sure if a guy said "no, you can't have my last name" I wouldn't marry him. That seems selfish and I think it seems like he thinks he's too much of a special snowflake to share that part of himself - and that you're not good enough for it.

annakb8

There are actually rules in Iceland about who can use what names. But people in Iceland are crazy and like to make up weird rules.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f409e9a4-852c-44a4-b03b-c4364a1d20c1Post:0956ecca-5773-4078-a27a-3085a5c8c864">Re: KPS</a>:
[QUOTE]As for the genital warts one, either of you could have carried the virus, or both of you.  1 in 4 people have it, and that stat will only keep rising.  You can contract it even while wearing condoms, and some people have the virus their whole lives without ever seeing or getting a wart, and some never know they have it.  It can also even be passed down to you at birth.  I'm not trying to down play an STD, but it's seriously not that big of a deal as long as you get regular pap smears and get the warts removed before they turn into cancerous cells.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

This.  My old roommate had them and had a big blowout fight with her BF because she thought he cheated on her.  I had to explain to her that either one of them could have had it for years beforehand and just started getting it (we all had to do a report on an STD in our high school health class and I did it on HPV, it's literally the most common STD and the most benign- provided you get normal paps).  Just go to the doctor and you'll be fine.

jemmini6

I also don't understand #1.  Um...isn't that generally a given that when you get married that you take your husband's name?  Kind of been that way for centuries so I really don't know why it wouldn't be okay.  Of course more and more people are choosing to keep their name, but that's generally thought of as 'uncommon'.  I hear more stories about guys getting upset that their wives don't want their last name as opposed to him throwing a fit because she wants to take it....

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f409e9a4-852c-44a4-b03b-c4364a1d20c1Post:7655d0bc-baf7-42df-b59e-6ca51467b1f9">Re: KPS</a>:
[QUOTE]I really have no interest in being my SIL's friend.
Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]

Ditto, and I'm sure she feels the same way.

About the name thing, it's not like it's a super secret thing that only one person in the world has. OMFG. I don't understand that at all. (And FWIW, I took it to mean that a woman shouldn't just expect her husband will be excited about her changing her name - she needs to ask if it's okay? I don't think I know any guy who wouldn't assume that his future wife may at least think about taking his last name, so I don't see that as an issue. Though we do see the whole "my FI is super pissed I won't take his name" argument here a lot.)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f409e9a4-852c-44a4-b03b-c4364a1d20c1Post:0956ecca-5773-4078-a27a-3085a5c8c864">Re: KPS</a>:
[QUOTE]As for the genital warts one, either of you could have carried the virus, or both of you.  1 in 4 people have it, and that stat will only keep rising.  You can contract it even while wearing condoms, and some people have the virus their whole lives without ever seeing or getting a wart, and some never know they have it.  It can also even be passed down to you at birth.  I'm not trying to down play an STD, but it's seriously not that big of a deal as long as you get regular pap smears and get the warts removed before they turn into cancerous cells.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]


The strains that cause warts don't cause cancer (those are different strains). So really, the worst thing that can happen is the warts. Granted, you can have multiple strains, so paps are always a good idea.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f409e9a4-852c-44a4-b03b-c4364a1d20c1Post:da708ec6-2445-4c0d-8f89-17bc12334101">Re: KPS</a>:
[QUOTE]There are actually rules in Iceland about who can use what names. But people in Iceland are crazy and like to make up weird rules.
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]

Well, there are only like 300,000 people in Iceland. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

I think the threesome thing is MUD.

annakb8

I think the threesome thing might be MUD too.

Ghoti

This educational thread has been brought to you by....

NuggetBrain

I would probably lose my everloving mind if Noodle blurted out his ex's name in the middle of a sex act.  Logical and mature would go flying out the window the minute that happened and sh*t would get real.

ahhhitsshannyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kps-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f409e9a4-852c-44a4-b03b-c4364a1d20c1Post:050d808f-ef5f-4767-a672-69ccd430c152">Re: KPS</a>:
[QUOTE]I would probably lose my everloving mind if Noodle blurted out his ex's name in the middle of a sex act.  <strong>Logical and mature would go flying out the window the minute that happened and sh*t would get real</strong>.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

Yes, and especially on top, you have got the upper hand. I would turn into the hulk for sure.

LDYGTR13

HAHAHAHA, Shannon, that created an awesome visual for me.

mica178

I just re-read the KPS.  I did have a friend whose husband explicitly told her that he did not want her to take his name.  We all thought that was weird, especially when we found out that he also did not want her to refer to them as being married and wouldn't let her wear her wedding ring or band in front of him. 

I have no problem with women making the choice to take or not take the husband's last name.  I think my friend's situation was super suspicious.  Years later, a bunch of infidelity on the guy's part came out.

aleighk1

FI called me his ex's name while we were laying in bed one morning a year ago. I was so upset and had no idea what to do. He was in my dorm room and had to park across the street to avoid paying for the parking deck so I would've had to drive him to his car for him to leave. I left for class and just pushed it out of my mind like it never happened. He hasn't done it since, I think because I told him I'd leave him if he did it again.