Vow renewal

hmskoolmom

i sure hope I'm not again opening a can of worms here by asking about a vow renewal. My husband and I have been married almost 30 years but the last year we have been separated for most of the time. As we now begin the work to save our marriage, I would like to have a vow renewal ceremony/party. Small and tasteful. We are not flashy people. We don't want to accept any gifts, so I don't know how to make that plain without mentioning it. Also, I would like to wear a special dress -not a wedding dress per se, but also not a I'll wear this to next year's Christmas party either. Definitely short or above the ankle, no poof or being white, but something "special". Perhaps with a pillbox hat and small netting? Maybe a tea-stained lace, or a silk suit. I guess in my head I have a Jackie O. ensemble. It also needs to be age appropriate as I am in my late 40s.

So this is where I need some boundaries, if you will, so that it really is a special occasion but done tastefully and not as if I'm trying to pull off a second wedding. I just want an opportunity for us to make our commitment to each other again with our family and a few close friends to celebrate with us.

mkrupar

I think what you've described above is perfect. You've been marrie 30 years, maybe had a rough patch the past year, so I think a vow renewal is totally appropriate. The attire you described is appropriate.

I wouldn't register for gifts or have any sort of bridal party (doesn't sound like you were thinking of that anywa).

AEshhh

I think all of that sounds lovely. A vow renewal after 30 years of marriage is different than a vow renewal after 30 weeks of marriage.

MyUserName1

I think you're totally okay doing this.

Just don't register for gifts, accept any showers, have a bachelorette party and I think you're cool (:

a Special dress is more than okay.

Grits8812

It sounds perfect to me!  There is nothing wrong with wanting to be extra pretty for a vow renewal.  Like others said, just don't let someone throw you a shower, and get word out by moth through close family that you aren't wanting gifts if you are worried people will bring them.

Kokes28

Are you planning on doing a big ceremony and reception following? Or will it be a little more laid back than your typical wedding. I've seen some awesome vow renewals before done as a destination type thing, or on a cruise! Or something along those lines. Not necessarily your typical wedding in a big church.

Simply Fated

We don't want to accept any gifts, so I don't know how to make that plain without mentioning it

Just don't mention it. If you ask people not to bring gifts, it means you were otherwise expecting it, which is super awkward. People will bring gifts regardless if you tell them to or not, so dont' worry about it.
But what you have planned sounds great.

midgemoto

Some friends did this... They just held it at their church and gave all their friends an open verbal invitation and had a punch and cookie reception.  The family went out to a nice diner after..It was really sweet. nobody brought gifts but there were cards and lots of hugs and handshakes..all good..

Gabrielle76

This sounds great, very appropriate, and tasteful.  I think a lot of people on these boards (myself included) get annoyed at the 'vow renewal' people because a lot of them are trying to 're-do' the dream wedding that they didn't get. 

Your plan sounds like a lovely, tasteful way to honor the new goals in your marriage, and express your love.  Also, I love the outfit you're describing!

Mrs.B6302007

That does sound lovely.

Congratulations on making it through the rough patches and having 30 years together.  =-)

ggirl2001

That sounds perfect! Have fun planning and congratulations on 30 years together! 

StephBeanWed61502

I'm tempted to ask if we can sticky this thread... THIS is an appropriate vow renewal, people.  :-)

bakerie

What you have plans sounds perfect and your outfit sounds awesome! I'm sure you'll look amazing. 

I think the problem many people have with people asking about vow renewals, is it's often people wanting to redo their wedding, because it wasn't "good enough" the first time around. Basically people wanting to pretend their actual wedding never happened. This does not sound at all like what you are doing so I don't think you'll get any bad feedback here.

Congratulations on almost thirty years!

biz717

Congratulations! It sounds lovely.

My parents' friends renewed the vows for their 25th. They sent out really cute invites that had some people whispering on the front and lots of little talk bubbles that said things like, "Can you believe it?" and "Who knew they'd make it this long!" (It sounds tacky but I swear it was wicked cute...) Anyway it was a nice way to invite people and acknowledge that they weren't having a wedding but a very special mass and after party to celebrate their marriage.

Good luck!

Bonzo2011

Your vow renewal plans sound great. What a beautiful way to celebrate your recommitment after getting through a tough spot. My grandparents did a big vow renewal for their fiftieth anniversary. My grandmother wore a very classy black and white dress, my grandfather wore his tux. My dad and aunt stood next to their parents, and my sister and I were sort of flower girls, but there was no "wedding party" other than us, the descendants. Everyone had a great time celebrating their fiftieth. Anyway, keep it classy and appropriate, like you've described, and I am sure it will be a great celebration! Congratulations on nearly 30 years!