A Honeymoon Fund Jar?

sarahgilbert2012

I know this is an incredibly old post. But I just thought I would say I agree with you few!! What's the difference between having "dollar dances", "hold the bride hostage" and all the other events ppl hv to "raise" money. Normally, all of those things, the money truly goes to the "honeymoon fund" so I don't get why so many ppl think this is tacky and rude. I always give my dollars to the groom for the "dollar dances" and I always make sure I bring cash to weddings for these reasons. If I saw this, I would put my dollars in it with a smile!!! : I'm not putting anyone down when I say this I promise!! But I think people with families/daddies who are rich/wealthy/comfortable with paying 15,000 on weddings would see this as rude. They would never ask for money as gifts. People like me who can only afford / comfortable paying 2000 for a wedding see this as normal traditions at weddings. :

HappiestBrideToBe143

I completely agree sarahgilbert!!  In our case.....we REALLY need some help in order to go on a honeymoon.  We might could make it happen on our own but with the expenses of the wedding....I just dont know!!  I really don't see the big deal?  Like sarah said....the money dances and other activities involving money are pretty much the same difference.  I guess I just dont really mind putting it out there that we could use a little help!  Most of my family are pretty down to earth people, so I dont think anyone would take offense at all.  I guess it just depends on "your family".  I say GO FOR IT!!  No big deal.....the worse thing to happen is you get no money....at least you tried   Its going for a good cause....everyone that comes to see you get married cares about you and would be willing to throw in a few bucks to make sure you have a nice honeymoon!

Xstatic3333

Bad idea zombie thread! Don't do it!

My FI and I are also spending a lot on the wedding, so we are having a simple, driving distance HM. Easy peasy, and it will still be wonderful. If we couldn't afford that we'd camp or have a night in a local hotel. We would never beg for handouts.

misshart00

Except a honeymoon is not a right. If you can afford one, great. If not, you don't have one. People probably already gave you a gift. So use that in your honeymoon. Don't tell them that their gift isn't good enough (which is basically what you're doing since you're asking for more money). The worst thing you can do is not that you won't get any money. You could alienate your friends and highly offend them.

And dear goodness, why did you really pull up an super old post just to tell people you're breaking etiquette?

courtski2004

HappiestBrideToBe143 said:

I completely agree sarahgilbert!!  In our case.....we REALLY need some help in order to go on a honeymoon.  We might could make it happen on our own but with the expenses of the wedding....I just dont know!!  I really don't see the big deal?  Like sarah said....the money dances and other activities involving money are pretty much the same difference.  I guess I just dont really mind putting it out there that we could use a little help!  Most of my family are pretty down to earth people, so I dont think anyone would take offense at all.  I guess it just depends on "your family".  I say GO FOR IT!!  No big deal.....the worse thing to happen is you get no money....at least you tried   Its going for a good cause....everyone that comes to see you get married cares about you and would be willing to throw in a few bucks to make sure you have a nice honeymoon!

No. If you can't afford a honeymoon, don't take one until you can fund it. I got married two years ago and we haven't been on our 'honeymoon' yet. Right after the wedding, J didn't have enough PTO built up and I had just started a new job. No big deal, we'll go on an amazing trip eventually.

It's for a good cause? Are you a charity?

It is rude to ask your guests to open their wallets at your wedding, bottom line. I've been a guest at many weddings, and I don't even take my wallet in with me. Actually, the worst thing that could happen other than getting no money is for your friends and family to be offended by your implication that they should have to pay for a vacation that you can't afford. If your family is so down to earth about your request for cash for a great honeymoon, go ahead and be rude about your request before your wedding. There's a difference in asking for help for bills or something, but for a honeymoon? Really?

crunchymamaof2

sarahgilbert2012 said:

I know this is an incredibly old post. But I just thought I would say I agree with you few!! What's the difference between having "dollar dances", "hold the bride hostage" and all the other events ppl hv to "raise" money. Normally, all of those things, the money truly goes to the "honeymoon fund" so I don't get why so many ppl think this is tacky and rude. I always give my dollars to the groom for the "dollar dances" and I always make sure I bring cash to weddings for these reasons. If I saw this, I would put my dollars in it with a smile!!! : I'm not putting anyone down when I say this I promise!! But I think people with families/daddies who are rich/wealthy/comfortable with paying 15,000 on weddings would see this as rude. They would never ask for money as gifts. People like me who can only afford / comfortable paying 2000 for a wedding see this as normal traditions at weddings. :

You're right, there is no difference between a Honeymoon Jar and Dollar Dances, etc. They're ALL tacky and bad etiquette.

And the comment about those with "rich families/daddies" was extremely offensive. You'll make friends fast here!

MuppetOverlord

Skip it! Ugh!

NYCBruin

If you're going to offend your guests by hitting them up for cash, just sell tickets to your wedding. You'll end up with more money.  I mean, why risk offending your nearest and dearest unless you're going to get lots of money from it, right?

In all seriousness though, the comment of "the worst that can happen is you don't get any money," is totally off base.  Actually the worst thing that may (and probably will) happen is that one or more of your guests who took the time and money to attend your wedding (transportation, dress, etc) and probably already gave you a lovely gift will be wildly offended.  They may cut ties with you, talk about you behind your back, or just start distancing themselves from you.  

If you think the money you may "raise" from a dollar dance, honeymoon jar, or other cash grab at your wedding is worth more than your relationships with your guests, then go right ahead with your plans for your wedding fundraisers.  

Dreamergirl8812

Every time you resurrect a zombie thread to give bad etiquette advice, a fuzzy bunny keels over.

Aray82

Extremely tacky, especially since everyone can see who puts money in and how much. However, a few of my friends registered at honeyfund.com in addition to their other household goods registry site. To me, that wasn't as off-putting because it was more private and you got to share a bit about your trip and the sites you'd like to see. In the case of both couples I knew they were on tight budgets and never took vacations, and as my friends they were some of the kindest and most generous people I've ever met. ( One of the grooms actually spends his Sundays collecting leftover food from as many groceries and restaurants as will donate and then passes it out to the homeless downtown when the shelters are closed.) Anyhow, I was exicted for their plans and happy to be able to share in a small part of them if I wished in lieu of a household gift--but yeah, just a tip jar hanging out there during the ceremony would have been off-putting. Although it's basically asking for the same thing, the presentation is just a bit more private and gracious with the registry site, it seems.

Aray82

Agreed!

Aray82

Agreed!

Viczaesar

Kittens and bunnies and rudeness, oh my!

ralandwehr

I honestly don't think it is that big of a deal. People are over-reacting to this. You shouldn't have anyone at your wedding that you are not close to. I have seen people also put out a money tree. I thought it was cute and was announced as money going to start the couple in their new adventure.

misshart00

ralandwehr said:

I honestly don't think it is that big of a deal. People are over-reacting to this. You shouldn't have anyone at your wedding that you are not close to. I have seen people also put out a money tree. I thought it was cute and was announced as money going to start the couple in their new adventure.

And you felt the need to pull up a zombie thread again to tell everyone this?

@slothiegal‌ or @Liatris2010‌

Jen4948

ralandwehr said:

I honestly don't think it is that big of a deal. People are over-reacting to this. You shouldn't have anyone at your wedding that you are not close to. I have seen people also put out a money tree. I thought it was cute and was announced as money going to start the couple in their new adventure.

Sorry, but I don't agree.  Couples who can't finance their own honeymoons and feel the need to "cute" their guests into paying for it aren't ready to get married.

slothiegal

Zombie thread, gonna close!  

misshart00--thanks for the heads up