is it rude too????

sassyredd2010

so, we are having a evening wedding on a friday nite our ceremony is set to start at 6 so i am anticipating the reception  to start at 7ish til 10:30-11. are you {the newlyweds} supposed to stay the entire reception or is it ok to leave like 30-40 min before its over? i'm just curious considering i havent been to weddings in awhile and i dont remember how early the bride and groom left...

Kristin789

Traditionally the bride and groom leave 30 minutes early.  See "Father of the Bride" remake with Steve Martin - they have a big send-off for the bride and groom.

lissypooh628

I've never been to a wedding where the bride and groom leave first.  It's Your celebration... why would you want to leave before your guests?  Would you invite people to your house for a party and then go to bed while they are still there?
Yes.. I think it's rude.

sassyredd2010

thanks!

nda_roxybabe

Rude in additional to what?

mocha beans

Every wedding I've been to the bride and groom are the last to leave.

cac847

I've never seen the bride and groom leave a wedding early, so I'd have to say that yes, it's rude.

nda_roxybabe

I have seen them leave early, when everyone does the whole send off bit...?
But I've also seen it where bride and gorom stay until the end..

lissypooh628

I come from a group of family and friends who have paid for their own weddings (not parents).  The brides and grooms stay until the end to thank everyone for coming.. and then clear up any money still due to the venue. 

sassyredd2010

i just wasnt sure...i didnt know if it would be considered "rude" to leave early or if we were supposed to wait until the very end.

sassyredd2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f75df4df-6c01-4842-8126-f5e9dd5c84adPost:ebeafbaf-2998-413b-94e2-7c1e08414b06">Re: is it rude too????</a>:
[QUOTE]I've never been to a wedding where the bride and groom leave first.  It's Your celebration... why would you want to leave before your guests?  Would you invite people to your house for a party and then go to bed while they are still there? Yes.. I think it's rude.
Posted by lissypooh628[/QUOTE]


i think the house party thing is very rude to do that, but i wasnt sure about the reception. i didnt want to be rude in any way considering everyone is there for us but just curious how it was supposed to go. thanks though :)

lissypooh628

I'm curious... do you have to get up early to leave for your honeymoon?  All this work you're putting into this day, why would you consider leaving early?

duckie1905

Hell, I paid some serious cash for my reception.  There was no way I was missing a minute of it.

brookelynpaisley

We stayed until the end. The only wedding I've ever been too where they left "early,"  they had a sparker send off but it was truly at the very end. They didn't take off super early - the DJ announced the last song, and then we were all given sparklers for the send off and it was just a natural progression to leave.

pandasquishy

We left an hour early, but only because I got sick.  Otherwise we would have stayed until the end.  But I don't think it's rude for you to leave early.  Before TK, I never heard of people staying for their whole reception.

qwerty777

For FI's cousins weddings, they all left early. One cousin and his wife left several hours early, and the other left the minute dinner was over (they didn't have a DJ though, so the reception didn't go any longer). Their cases are a little different to me, though, only because their family is very very conservative, and they all "save themselves for marriage" and it is pretty well known to the rest of us that they are getting married so they can sleep together. They all left quickly, we laughed about them, and then went on dancing. The rest of their family stayed so we stayed too.

Other than that, the bride and groom have always stayed to the end at weddings I've been to.

Sunshine9463

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f75df4df-6c01-4842-8126-f5e9dd5c84adPost:665abedf-5592-426a-a59c-d74eb662c1ef">Re: is it rude too????</a>:
[QUOTE]Rude in additional to what?
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

Very good question, IMO.

nda_roxybabe

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f75df4df-6c01-4842-8126-f5e9dd5c84adPost:5bb639bd-9f27-4490-93ee-d1bbd49e32ce">Re: is it rude too????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: is it rude too???? : Very good question, IMO.
Posted by Sunshine9463[/QUOTE]
Thank you for getting that. I'm sure others did too but..I'm curious.

Sunshine9463

Perhaps in addition to a dollar dance?

tenofcups4me

I've only once seen a couple leave before the end... and we thought it was weird. In my crowd, the couple are usually the last to leave. I know for my first wedding, we stayed till the very end. I wasn't going to miss a minute of the party!

nda_roxybabe

or in addition to asking for monetary gifts only?

cukimerrydoll

I'm not sure I would call it rude, if it's done right and in the right kind of venue.  If it's done a la "Father of the Bride" and they are going somewhere else right after the reception, it makes some sense - especially if they have a big send-off.

I have only seen it done a couple times, and if you decide to, make it BIG - make a big deal about it, and you might be able to pull it off.
If you have a set-up where you won't be leaving the reception venue (hotel) or going to a hotel where you have a block of rooms for guests, it would seem really out of place to me.

Sunshine9463

Wait, I'm asking for cash only gifts. This is wrong, Roxy?

nda_roxybabe

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f75df4df-6c01-4842-8126-f5e9dd5c84adPost:ee9d4966-9834-4d4b-8907-d68ba8b13ce6">Re: is it rude too????</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait, I'm asking for cash only gifts. This is wrong, Roxy?
Posted by Sunshine9463[/QUOTE]
OH cash only is ok its the "monetary" thats a problem. I don't really know what that word means but I heard its tacky. However, asking for cash is cool.

Sunshine9463

Whew!
 'Cause FI created a glorious haiku we are including in the invites. Good thing he rhymed with "cash!"

nda_roxybabe

Oh did he use mash or hash? I think hash is a good one.

Sunshine9463

Well hash, of course. Some people will think of potatoes, and others will...know what we mean. We are accepting all three forms of payment, in fact. (I like potatoes, so no harm, no foul if they get it wrong.)

nda_roxybabe

That is definitely the ideal way to do it. Cash, hash and potatoes.

Sunshine9463

I think that is my new gift grabby motto: "Cash, Hash or Potatoes."

I mean, we could skip the haiku and just put that on the invitations. I'll run it by FI.

nda_roxybabe

Hopefully he will agree. T already said someday we can use it (hope you don't mind)

carrieoz_76

Nah, I don't think it's rude.  It's actually kinda traditional.  I wouldn't leave more than 30 mins. before the end, though, b/c most ppl will leave after you leave.