Hello and Help Please!

Ilikelittlepeople

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hello-and-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f842c329-bb93-4ad0-be72-298537a8fa1ePost:c50b16fa-7fcb-443c-bbd9-0cef6c0be228">Re:Hello and Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]Silly question: what is a Penguin bus? I'm assumingwould it would be what I've heard referred to as the short bus... Will someone enlighten me please?
Posted by Jenni8412[/QUOTE]

Well the bus was short so I guess you could call it a short bus.

gabriel0915

At the end of the day, troll or not, this is something that, at the end of the day, is something that isn't your place to say. It's not your life, it just happens to be part of your life. It's their life, their body, and they determine who knows and who doesn't. My dad was the same way finding out that I was marrying someone who was Catholic (he's against the catholic church) but he loves my FI and knows I'm happy and if your parents love you then they will get over it. They don't have to see this person or interact with them except the day before and the day of the wedding. If YOU feel like you have to tell them, then you sit them down and tell them. They will freak out, but if you feel like they have to know and YOU have to tell tem then you sit down and tell them.

As for living at home, they may support you but in this economy you need to get a job and become your own person. I don't have a job, and at this point I'd be happy with anything, and I live at home. If you're getting married, it's time to get a job and move out and not have your parents support you.

Good luck.

mbrischoux

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hello-and-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f842c329-bb93-4ad0-be72-298537a8fa1ePost:e90e3ceb-a6a0-4d43-be63-9a042c29daf3">Re:Hello and Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Hello and Help Please! : Well the bus was short so I guess you could call it a short bus.
Posted by Ilikelittlepeople[/QUOTE]

As a special educator and a sister of an adult with severe Autism, I take incredible offence to this comment.  You really should consider who might be reading your posts before you leave them.

And by the way, ANY job is a job.  Sorry, Princess, be a grown up and work while looking for "the job you want with the pay you want."  I don't know where you get the idea that your dream job and salary are just going to land in your lap.  Cut the cord.

Ilikelittlepeople

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hello-and-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f842c329-bb93-4ad0-be72-298537a8fa1ePost:974c8e3e-7f28-4ad2-a8cf-d439d2514884">Re:Hello and Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Hello and Help Please! : As a special educator and a sister of an adult with severe Autism,<strong> I take incredible offence to this comment</strong>.  You really should consider who might be reading your posts before you leave them. And by the way, ANY job is a job.  Sorry, Princess, be a grown up and work while looking for "the job you want with the pay you want."  I don't know where you get the idea that your dream job and salary are just going to land in your lap.  Cut the cord.
Posted by mbrischoux[/QUOTE]

You're joking right? I answered a question about the length of the bus. So, because a bus is short you automatically think only disabled children ride it? That speaks volumes of how you stereo type people. FYI all trollness aside I did ride a short bus. And no I don't have any problems that would have dictated me to ride a bus deemed only acceptable for the handicapped. Get off your high horse, grow the EFF up and quit being so god damn sensitive. FYI I also have several family members that are handicapped.

mbrischoux

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hello-and-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f842c329-bb93-4ad0-be72-298537a8fa1ePost:85fc4ab9-66df-46d0-8f9f-7802f0344c8b">Re:Hello and Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Hello and Help Please! : You're joking right? I answered a question about the length of the bus. So, because a bus is short you automatically think only disabled children ride it? That speaks volumes of how you stereo type people. FYI all trollness aside I did ride a short bus. And no I don't have any problems that would have dictated me to ride a bus deemed only acceptable for the handicapped. Get off your high horse, grow the EFF up and quit being so god damn sensitive. FYI I also have several family members that are handicapped.
Posted by Ilikelittlepeople[/QUOTE]

To clarify, where I come from, people refer to "short buses" as an insult to those who are disabled.  I can't tell you how many kids I catch a day at my inclusion high school who ask someone "did you come in on the short bus today?" as a way of insulting their intelligence.  It cheeses me off.

It's not a sterotype I subscribe to, it's one I fight against, given my occupation and my family.  I also have a problem with people throwing "the r word" around. 

No, I'm NOT saying that you are in any way delegated to the "short bus" stereotype (which, by the way, I have a problem with that phrase, too, since it implies exactly what you thought I was implying of you), so as far as me being "sensitive," you should perhaps rethink your sensitivity as well.  It's not at all what I was implying about you.

And as far as "growing the EFF up" and my "high horse" is concerned:  You're pouting because the right job at the right salary hasn't come to you yet instead of working and being your own person.  I think your argument here is invalid.

I did however neglect to tell you that personally, in regards to your fiance's folks, I'd let them know what your parents are like before you had them meet.  You can't change your parents, but you can at least let your new inlaws know what they're in for.  You're in a tight spot either way, and I don't envy you for that.  Good luck.

Jenni8412

mbrischoux, I initially asked my question to see if this troll was intending to be offensive. I just want to extend my apologies to you and any lurkers if I did so! That was not at all my intention.

Viczaesar

Obvious troll is obvious.

mbrischoux

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hello-and-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f842c329-bb93-4ad0-be72-298537a8fa1ePost:9fb3b824-783c-4b04-b8db-2b4607cde61e">Re:Hello and Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]mbrischoux, I initially asked my question to see if this troll was intending to be offensive. I just want to extend my apologies to you and any lurkers if I did so! That was not at all my intention.
Posted by Jenni8412[/QUOTE

Was not at all offended by your question! No worries:)

RebeccaB88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hello-and-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f842c329-bb93-4ad0-be72-298537a8fa1ePost:6186a410-4a1c-4f8d-9358-0ef7e13a4150">Re: Hello and Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello and Help Please! : But see I don't want to paint a poor picture of my parents either.
Posted by Ilikelittlepeople[/QUOTE]

I don't think they need your help with that.

OP, IF you are serious (which I can't imagine you are), you need to grow the eff up, get a job, and develop some level of independence before you even consider getting married.  I don't have the job I want and the one I have doesn't pay what it should, but helll, I have a job and pay my own way.  You make it work, and you don't act like a baby about it.

I just can't wrap my brain around your parents throwing a Jerry Springer-esque conniption fit in a public place. Getting up from the table and (rudely) walking out, sure.  Expressing their opinion, sure.  Declining to attend, sure.  But that kind of thing? No rational adult does that. 

Does this mean they won't be able to attend your wedding if his mother is there?  Would they do that at your reception in front of your families and friends?  Would they decide they aren't paying for anything if you marry him, because of her?  What are your plans for dealing with all this? 

If you are a troll, then you need to do a helll of a lot better job.  Everyone knows what 'short  bus' means.

StephanieM22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hello-and-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f842c329-bb93-4ad0-be72-298537a8fa1ePost:6241fa49-4863-4f87-b34e-63f3aa167625">Re: Hello and Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't work because I can't find a job that I want for the pay that I want. My parents have lots of money so it's OK if I live off them until the right job falls in my lap.
Posted by Ilikelittlepeople[/QUOTE]

<div>Sorry but get a job. Guess what you need work experience to get the job you want at the salary you want they don't just fall into your lap. </div><div>
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renjon7798

So, here's what I've gathered.  She's known FI for 6 months, lives at home off of her "loaded" parents and is doing nothing but sittin on her princess butt waiting for her dream job to just fall into her lap?  (And according to her post on another board, her FI is just under 5" tall...)

Seriously, if this doesn't spell troll, nothing does.

mtbentley

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hello-and-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f842c329-bb93-4ad0-be72-298537a8fa1ePost:6241fa49-4863-4f87-b34e-63f3aa167625">Re: Hello and Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't work because I can't find a job that I want for the pay that I want. My parents have lots of money so it's OK if I live off them until the right job falls in my lap.
Posted by Ilikelittlepeople[/QUOTE]
 <div>Speechless</div>

Meghannsix

I don't know about Kwills, but it def sounds like that surfergirl, didn't she mention being loaded in one of her posts?  Geesh, what is wrong with some people?

NOLAbridealmost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hello-and-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f842c329-bb93-4ad0-be72-298537a8fa1ePost:6186a410-4a1c-4f8d-9358-0ef7e13a4150">Re: Hello and Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello and Help Please! : But see I don't want to paint a poor picture of my parents either.
Posted by Ilikelittlepeople[/QUOTE]

<div>Actually putting up with hateful bigots for cash doesn't paint a pretty picture of yourself either. </div><div>
</div><div>Not that trolls usually look good or anything.</div>

Lizzieyounce

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_hello-and-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f842c329-bb93-4ad0-be72-298537a8fa1ePost:a86c3359-14b3-4559-a00c-83feffe1f797">Re: Hello and Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello and Help Please! : Actually putting up with hateful bigots for cash doesn't paint a pretty picture of yourself either.  Not that trolls usually look good or anything.
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

<div>Bravo!!!</div><div>
</div><div>As soon as I read the OP I had to break out the air freshner.</div><div>
</div><div>BTW, NOLA, I'm a naitive New Orleanian, transplanted to TX. I miss my city, but am so happy it's such a short drive (relatively speaking,lol) away!</div><div>
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BubbsNBubbs

Wow...just wow.  There is no way on this earth would I ever allow my parents to disrespect someone in my life like that.  I would also be completely honest with my parents about the situation and if they didn't like it...they would have to understand that I am not a bigoted fool like they are and that THEY would have to make the choice to continue to be in my life or not. 

What happens when/if you have kids....will your parents poison the minds of your children against your FMIL?

You really do need to be prepared for them to possibly pull their financial support of your wedding if they are really that bigoted to throw a "jerry springer fit".  Have you considered how you will handle that if it happens? 

What happens if your parents tell you that they will no longer support you if you choose to marry your FI??

If you are old enough to decide to get married....then you are wayyyy past old enough to support yourself. Grow up. Just because they CAN support you...doesn't mean they should or that you should let them.  Be your own person.

Does your FI understand that you have never supported yourself and that you will most likely expect him to support you after you are married since you have never had to do it yourself?