Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

Ummm... OKAY?

CN:   a woman told us we are the reason her husband is going to beat her up when they get home.


Long story:   At the bar we go to there is some video gamming machines.  There are 3 machines that our friends prefer to play.  There was some people around one machine that were not playing.  Here in STT most people are pretty nice and allow other play the machine.  so our friends ask if someone was playing the machine.  They said yes.  After 10 minutes not one of them were playing nor was there any money in the machine.  They asked again and they said yes it's their machine. After another 10 minutes another machine came available so they took that one.

All the sudden a woman shows up (after 20 minutes) and says the other machine was hers she just needed to get money.  Fine...people do that.  Although most of us just say that in the beginning. Then she says that she hopes we are proud of ourselves, because we were rude about asking about the machine, she is going to get beaten by her BF tonight/

Really??  You are actually trying to blame us for your beating.  I do not believe in domestic violence, but I'm be dammed if you are going to blame me for your beating.  You are the one who is allowing this behavior to continue.  I just met you.

Part of me is sad about the situation.  But damm, I have a tough time feeling sorry for someone who stays with someone who beats them over a gamming maching and then blames total strangers that we are the reason why.






What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 

Re: Ummm... OKAY?

  • Options
    What really can you say to that? Sorry about your luck lady? I really wonder what kind of response she was expecting.
  • Options
    oh brother, its not your fault.  She's in denial she's in a bad relationship.
    Photobucket
  • Options
    Yikes. I would have absolutely zero idea what to say in that situation.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • Options
    Our  (female) friend.. who is not really PC... says... Well that sounds like it's your problem not mine...






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Options
    Agreed with PP...she has a sucky relationship and she's blaming you.  It's like really though, your relationship is that bad that you are going to get beat up because someone played a bar video game??  It's a shame she can't see that she needs to get out of that relationship.
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options
    Wtf? She was probably saying that to upset you. I doubt someone who was actually abused would admit that to a stranger.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options
    Honestly, I would feel guilty, then I would feel mad at myself for letting someone make me feel guilty over nothing, then I would be mad at her for making me feel that way.  Not your fault, not your problem.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Options
    sadly.. I know her SO (didn't know that at the time).  Not friends, but I know him from the bar.... I met his last GF... She would have odd brusies, but not bad enough to suspect anything until tonight when the new GF said what she said.

    I'm still in shock.  Why would you say that? 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Options
    Hm. I don't know what I'd say. Thats weird.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options
    I guess I don't understand what the machine and her bf being a complete and total tool have to do with each other. 
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Options
    The BF (which I did not know at the time) was there when our friends were asking about the machine.  Apparently he must have been embarrassed that she took so long getting the money??  That is the only thing I can think of.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Options
    Wow...not even sure how to respond to that one.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ummm-okay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f86157b8-88be-4bed-9afe-3d23125bcaf2Post:f1e73a33-efba-4c5d-9d2c-11802199c7ed">Re: Ummm... OKAY?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow...not even sure how to respond to that one.
    Posted by navybaby1113[/QUOTE]

    It was just so odd..  My friend has been married for 34? years..So she is not a spring chicken.  She is a sucessful architect with her own company.  Her DH is a retired NW pilot.  She is not one to put up with such crap.    She was like WTF???  Who says stuff like that?  Neither one of us commented more than that is really your problem.

     Maybe we should have done more, but I'm not sure I believe her.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Options
    That's the thing - I wouldn't believe her.  I mean, definitely believe that it happens, and for stupid reasons - but there's usually a reason.  Could be that bf had a crappy day at work, or that she overcooked the meatloaf, or that he doesn't like meatloaf.   Unless you or your H were trying to get frisky with her, though, I don't see how you asking a question/using an unoccupied machine would qualify her for a beating.

    I would likely have offered to help her call the police.  Given her the number for a hotline/shelter.  And then told her to find another machine if she had nothing else to offer up but a guilt trip.

    Maybe I'm horrid.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ummm-okay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f86157b8-88be-4bed-9afe-3d23125bcaf2Post:268eaaf9-bc40-43bc-a137-5199ddacdfc1">Re: Ummm... OKAY?</a>:
    [QUOTE]That's the thing - I wouldn't believe her.  I mean, definitely believe that it happens, and for stupid reasons - but there's usually a reason.  Could be that bf had a crappy day at work, or that she overcooked the meatloaf, or that he doesn't like meatloaf.   Unless you or your H were trying to get frisky with her, though, I don't see how you asking a question/using an unoccupied machine would qualify her for a beating. I would likely have offered to help her call the police.  Given her the number for a hotline/shelter.  And then told her to find another machine if she had nothing else to offer up but a guilt trip. Maybe I'm horrid.
    Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

    No friskying going on.  DH is not even on isand.  I do not go that way.  Neither do our friends.  It was just so odd.

      If it's not true why even play that card?  If it was true, if you are smart enough to know it's wrong, why tell total strangers?  At the very least ask for help and do not go home knowing you might get beaten.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Options
    It was either a scream for help in all the wrong ways or she was being an asshole.  Either way, it was completely weird.  
    my read shelf:
    Amber Lea's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) imageTell Me A Tale
  • Options
    She sounds like a drunk.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ummm-okay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f86157b8-88be-4bed-9afe-3d23125bcaf2Post:7d6c5002-1247-4c76-be7f-5da9ae7b4dc2">Re: Ummm... OKAY?</a>:
    [QUOTE]She sounds like a drunk.
    Posted by ThePinkSuperhero[/QUOTE]

    that could have been true.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ummm-okay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f86157b8-88be-4bed-9afe-3d23125bcaf2Post:9d525fda-342a-4c84-930b-d3bfe7b52373">Re: Ummm... OKAY?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ummm... OKAY? : No friskying going on.  DH is not even on isand.  I do not go that way.  Neither do our friends. 
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    I was pretty sure you didn't.  Thus my disbelief.  Lynda, I think you met a real life AW. 
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards