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I have a Question

kerrib11kerrib11
1000 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
  Well, I don't post over here, but I do read!  I have a question for you ladies!
I had my bridal shower today which was hosted by FI's mom.  I wanted to invite FI's sister, but his mom and sister do NOT get along at all.  I didn't want to upset his mom by putting her on the guest list so I didn't.  Well, come to find out she was very hurt that she didn't get invited.  I feel awful, but I really didn't know what to do.  She sent a gift with FI's aunt.  
  She's going to be at the family GTG tomorrow and I want to talk to her about it, but I'm not sure how or if I should.
  What do you think?

TIA
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Re: I have a Question

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f8dd6027-f8bf-46ba-a55a-c79b04cf6d66Post:131e111f-b145-4314-9b22-f2fdaea92aba">I have a Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]  Well, I don't post over here, but I do read!  I have a question for you ladies! I had my bridal shower today which was hosted by FI's mom.  I wanted to invite FI's sister, but his mom and sister do NOT get along at all.  I didn't want to upset his mom by putting her on the guest list so I didn't.  Well, come to find out she was very hurt that she didn't get invited.  I feel awful, but I really didn't know what to do.  She sent a gift with FI's aunt.     She's going to be at the family GTG tomorrow and I want to talk to her about it, but I'm not sure how or if I should.   What do you think? TIA
    Posted by kerrib11[/QUOTE]

    <div>TBH I think it was wrong of you to not put her on the guest list without first asking your FMIL or your FI how they felt about it.  But obviously it's too late for that.  I would just be honest with your FSIL and tell her what you wrote here.</div>
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  • Brandiewine11Brandiewine11 member
    100 Comments
    Ouch. That's tough. I think I would have invited her in the first place. In this case, since its done, I would thank her for the gift, be very gracious, and eat your humble pie and apologize for not inviting her. I'd probably even say that I was wrong. Invite her out to dinner or something.
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  • kerrib11kerrib11
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f8dd6027-f8bf-46ba-a55a-c79b04cf6d66Post:3b5909ed-2d77-4748-89b0-de7f0cb6f277">Re: I have a Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to I have a Question : TBH I think it was wrong of you to not put her on the guest list without first asking your FMIL or your FI how they felt about it.  But obviously it's too late for that.  I would just be honest with your FSIL and tell her what you wrote here.
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    <div>  I did ask my FI and he said that I shouldn't because of his mom and sister's relationship.  </div>
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f8dd6027-f8bf-46ba-a55a-c79b04cf6d66Post:d3c51605-367c-4352-bb29-27e80ed87f16">Re: I have a Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I have a Question :   I did ask my FI and he said that I shouldn't because of his mom and sister's relationship.  
    Posted by kerrib11[/QUOTE]

    <div>Then just be honest and tell her that.  You and your FI made the choice to exclude her to avoid drama or awkwardness, but I'm sure it still hurts her feelings to be excluded, especially if you're close.  There's nothing you can do except own it and apologize.</div>
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  • kerrib11kerrib11
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f8dd6027-f8bf-46ba-a55a-c79b04cf6d66Post:60b9e1cd-6690-4e9c-b83f-0c4bbb951c43">Re: I have a Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I have a Question : Then just be honest and tell her that.  You and your FI made the choice to exclude her to avoid drama or awkwardness, but I'm sure it still hurts her feelings to be excluded, especially if you're close.  There's nothing you can do except own it and apologize.
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    <div>  I'll do that.  We're not close.  We only see each other at FI's family functions.  I don't hate her though and I don't want her to think I do.  Thank you for the advice</div>
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