Miss Manners vs Emily Post

Carson386

I would like to buy the book of one or the other. I don't know too much about either other than the sample text I have seen from both, and  they both look amazing. Any advice on which one I should get?

Meegles4

I'm sure either's fine. I'm not as familiar with Miss Manners, my mom has always been an Emily Post fan, so I have an older edition of her big book of etiquette.

wilmaandfred

Overall, I think Miss Manners is more correct/less swayed by the bridal industry, though she does have a couple of philosophies I disagree with.  She hates registries and RSVP cards.

Meegles4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_miss-manners-vs-emily-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:faf1bb53-7ef8-4c8f-861c-40a1735972bcPost:29d73ffa-72e4-4db4-a6b2-44cfb9a0fdb5">Re: Miss Manners vs Emily Post</a>:
[QUOTE]Overall, I think Miss Manners is more correct/less swayed by the bridal industry, though she does have a couple of philosophies I disagree with.  She hates registries and RSVP cards.
Posted by wilmaandfred[/QUOTE]

Emily Post isn't only wedding-focused. The book I have covers all etiquette situations, with only a section on weddings. Personally, if you're going to buy an etiquette book, I think getting one that's a catch-all and not wedding-specific is better. Then you have a resource for all etiquette situations that'll last you much longer than your wedding.

melb2013

I have Miss Manners and have used it a lot.  My mom has an old Emily Post book.  I have to say that I didn't find the Emily Post book to be as helpful.  I like that Miss Manners isn't swayed by the wedding industry.

PhoneCardLady

Look on eBay or Amazon for a slightly used book and not pay full price,no matter which way you go.

LeiselEB

Just throwing this out there, the Crane Blue Book is the best for stationery issues.

Carson386

Thank you ladies for your advice, I'm definitely using Amazon to get a used book, and maybe if they are cheap enough I will even buy both.

walgrrl

I think both are probably very good manners/etiquette resources.  I don't have any Miss Manners books, but I have read her columns and I like them.  I do have the Emily Post wedding etiquette book and I really like it!  There is a lot of good advice and I refer to it frequently.  It has answered many of my wedding etiquette questions and because of that, I will be able to avoid some of the common etiquette mistakes.  Either book would probably be a great resource.

andra loves andre

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_miss-manners-vs-emily-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:faf1bb53-7ef8-4c8f-861c-40a1735972bcPost:29d73ffa-72e4-4db4-a6b2-44cfb9a0fdb5">Re: Miss Manners vs Emily Post</a>:
[QUOTE]Overall, I think Miss Manners is more correct/less swayed by the bridal industry, though she does have a couple of philosophies I disagree with.  She hates registries and RSVP cards.
Posted by wilmaandfred[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm curious, why does she hate RSVP cards? Is it the notion of RSVP-ing, or the cards itself? I know it used to be that the recepient of the invitations was supposed to send a hand-written note accepting or declinging originally, is that part of why she doesn't like it? </div><div>
</div><div>You've really peaked my interest with this, lol!</div><div>
</div><div>And, while we're at it, why no registires? I'm not registering, but still curious!!! :)</div>

Carson386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_miss-manners-vs-emily-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:faf1bb53-7ef8-4c8f-861c-40a1735972bcPost:f671c5a4-500a-499b-a874-e113b77edbc9">Re: Miss Manners vs Emily Post</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Miss Manners vs Emily Post : I'm curious, why does she hate RSVP cards? Is it the notion of RSVP-ing, or the cards itself? I know it used to be that the recepient of the invitations was supposed to send a hand-written note accepting or declinging originally, is that part of why she doesn't like it?  You've really peaked my interest with this, lol! And, while we're at it, why no registires? I'm not registering, but still curious!!! :)
Posted by andra loves andre[/QUOTE]

I'm hopefully getting FI to buy me the book tonight as a 2 week early birthday present. I will let you know when I find out her reasoning (if she gives one).

andra loves andre

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_miss-manners-vs-emily-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:faf1bb53-7ef8-4c8f-861c-40a1735972bcPost:491764ec-3a78-4832-b8e4-005536be7175">Re: Miss Manners vs Emily Post</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Miss Manners vs Emily Post : I'm hopefully getting FI to buy me the book tonight as a 2 week early birthday present. I will let you know when I find out her reasoning (if she gives one).
Posted by Carson386[/QUOTE]

<div>yayyy! It's so interesting how many rules (or opinions) there are about wedding planning, and it seems like even if you follow etiquette, so much of it is not black or white! And moreover, it seems like when theres a rule, there are 10000 exceptions following! All this etiquette stuff is so interesting to me :)</div>

Carson386

It's very interesting to me too. My parent's never really raised us to be "proper" children, we ran around a farm (seriously, with cows haha) and did whatever, FI was raised on a farm too. Rules don't apply on farms. Just ordered the book on Amazon, should have it this week!!

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_miss-manners-vs-emily-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:faf1bb53-7ef8-4c8f-861c-40a1735972bcPost:05660cbd-3b3e-4861-aa74-10b44d82ce2e">Re:Miss Manners vs Emily Post</a>:
[QUOTE]Just throwing this out there, the Crane Blue Book is the best for stationery issues.
Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]

Absolutely!  I use that along with EPost

I found Miss Manners to be quite the smartass at times

melb2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_miss-manners-vs-emily-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:faf1bb53-7ef8-4c8f-861c-40a1735972bcPost:f671c5a4-500a-499b-a874-e113b77edbc9">Re: Miss Manners vs Emily Post</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Miss Manners vs Emily Post : I'm curious, why does she hate RSVP cards? Is it the notion of RSVP-ing, or the cards itself? I know it used to be that the recepient of the invitations was supposed to send a hand-written note accepting or declinging originally, is that part of why she doesn't like it?  You've really peaked my interest with this, lol! And, while we're at it, why no registires? I'm not registering, but still curious!!! :)
Posted by andra loves andre[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>She feels that one shouldn't include RSVP cards.  That individuals who want to attend you wedding can write a note on their own paper and send it to you to either accept or decline.  This is apparently the traditional way of doing things.  I've never seen an invite with an RSVP card- I think guests would be confused if there wasn't an RSVP card.</div><div>
</div><div>She doesn't like registries because weddings are not fundraisers.  She has no problem with someone registering something as simple as a china pattern so that if a guest would like to buy china, they will know your pattern.  But she does not like people registering for anything besides a pattern because then the wedding has become a fundraiser.  I have to say, I completely agree with this and get really annoyed by large registeries.  

</div>

melb2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_miss-manners-vs-emily-post?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:faf1bb53-7ef8-4c8f-861c-40a1735972bcPost:73fe1844-cdd5-4893-9dc2-1b5d2b7ef7d0">Re: Miss Manners vs Emily Post</a>:
[QUOTE]Miss Manners hates RSVP cards.  So did Emily Post, back in the day, and Amy Vanderbilt. The idea is that people should have the good manners to respond properly to an invitation without being prompted by a fill-in-the-blank card.  I agree.  Unfortunately, the reality of today's world is that most people do NOT have the good manners to respond without being prompted.  This change happened in the 1970s.  It was controversial then. Remember that Miss Manners' books are more than etiquette guides; they are also very witty comic commentaries on today's lifestyles. <strong> I think she is hilarious! </strong> For a serious etiquette guide, I like Emily Post.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Me too!  She cracks me up!  But I also find her to have a lot of common sense. 

</div>

lahlah12bk

I loved the miss manners book! Personally, I found it very comforting that she wasnt swayed by the bridal industry or current trends. Every time I feel bad about my relatively modest wedding I open up her book and feel better. Plus, it's very funny.

ladyomnipotent

Miss Manners all the way!

lauraanne9

OP, don't get both.  They disagree all over the place and you will drive yourself CRAZY.  My mom was more familiar with Emily Post, so we are going with her.  And, if there is anything that gets the side-eye, blame Emily.  LOL

But if you try to go with both, you will drive yourself crazy trying to decide which one is "right".  I think it is subjective to the situation, the formal-ness of the event, and so many other things.  Yes, there are certain things that are correct no matter the situation...but truth be told, it is common sense to invite both halves of couples, etc.

So, my advice, FWIW is to pick one and go with it.

SBMitchell

IMy fiance bought the Miss Manners guide to dignified wedding the weekend we got engaged-we were just intrigued by it.  Yes, she has some opinions that some may find off-putting/old-fashioned, but she has very common sense and looks at a lot what is going on with weddings-from the pre-wedding parties/showers, to the wedding/ceremony itself and afterwards.  Even even half of the questions that she answers are true, there are some selfish/greedy people in the world.  It's easy to get wrapped up in proper etiquette but at the end of the day the message is treat others how you want to be treated and thank people promptly! I would reread again just for the sense of humor she has!