address change/wedding gift dilemma

lstruggles

We are getting married in August at my parents  house.  I received a few gifts off our registry for my bridal shower from guests who couldn't make it and those were delivered to our apartment.  My question is, since the return address for our wedding invitation replies is to my parents house, will guests more than likely send gifts to their house seeing as it's being held there etc?

We are moving into a house on June 29th that we have just built.


I am just worried about people sending gifts to our apartment and most of our wedding guests know we are building a house but not all of them and we have lived in our current apartment for almost 3 years so most people know our address as this one.

Should I send out "we have moved" cards to everyone on our wedding list? Is it bad etiquette to pop these in our inviations to save on postage?

I should add that I was raised in the UK so we have a lot of invited out of country guests who have given us verbal no's (although we are still mailing them an invitation just in case plans change)

Invitations go out on Thursday this week.

aurianna

In my experience, people send gifts to the address that the place you've registered at has on file. Make sure wherever you registered has your parents' address on file instead of your apartment's.
Most cards/non-registry presents we got were sent to the return address on our invites (also my mother's).

Give your appartment complex a fowarding address and fill out a change of address form ASAP.

Spread the fact that you moved by word of mouth.

After seeing the invite with your parents' address on it, I really don't know why anyone would send a gift to your apartment if it's not the address on the registry or RSVP. (Edit: But then, I lived with my mother until the wedding, so I guess my situation was different)

A "we have moved" notice in your invite seems awkward to me. If you have a wedding website, perhaps on the registry section you could make a note that you moved, and have the URL to your wedding website on an insert in your invite?

Loopyseven

Update your address with your registry as soon as you can accept mail/deliveries at the new house so anything that is drop shipped will go to the new house.  Update your address with the post office and set up mail forwarding as soon as you can accept mail at the new house which should cover anything shipped through the USPS.  Do UPS/FedEx delivery directly to your door, or does your front office accept packages on behalf of the residents?  What is their policy about handling deliveries for people who have recently moved out?  

I wouldn't send anything with the wedding invitations, it's likely to get lost or overlooked, but maybe the week before you move you could send a "change of address notice" to your friends and family.  Between covering your bases with the Post Office and the apartment complex you'll catch most anything.  And most people knowing you are building a house and moving will hopefully verify which address to send packages to before sending them out.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

1) Traditionally the return address is to be used for gift deliveries.
2) Most registries have a shipping address on file - I would use your parents' address for this.
3) Obviously you can forward your mail, although that doesn't work for packages. I think they might hold your packages and send you notice at your new place. Or you can request they hold packages. Check with your post office.

Summer2011Bride

One thing I've seen done (in addition to PP's advice) is, if you are having wedding programs at your ceremony, you could put in a small font at the bottom or on the back: "Our new address is: ____." I've seen this done a few times and never thought it was inappropriate. To me, it doesn't say "mail me gifts" but "Hey, we got married and are moving into a new place so update your address books." That's an option, too, but I agree with changing your address on your registries to reflect the new house as soon as you will start receiving mail there.

hoffse

If you want something in the invitation, you have the option of inserting an "at home" card, which gives guests your new address.  That is similar to what PP was talking about.  At home cards were traditionally used when bride and groom moved immediately after the wedding (because the implication was that they were not living together until after they got married), but they may work in your situation.

Ditto PPs though: gifts should go to the RSVP address or the address registries have on file.

lstruggles

Thank you everyone for your awesome advice!  I never even thought about my registry having my address, thank goodness you said something!

Kristin789

The correct etiquette is to include AT HOME CARDS in your formal invitations. 

See details here:
http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-invitations/qa/what-are-at-home-cards.aspx

bonge

I would do a change of address card at the post office. You will probably have to pay a fee but the peace of mind is awesome, they forward everything on to you. 

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_address-changewedding-gift-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fc653564-d06d-4e66-b406-022ea764e9f2Post:f9cf2553-c6d1-4ba6-bd71-31ffa4a5efd0">Re: address change/wedding gift dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]I would do a change of address card at the post office. You will probably have to pay a fee but the peace of mind is awesome, they forward everything on to you. 
Posted by bonge[/QUOTE]

Nope it's free. But most things will be shipped UPS/FedEx which doesn't work. You might well be able to call them and have a hold put on your packages however.