Advice-NWR

jamiefour

FI birthday is coming up and I want to invite everyone to come to dinner at his favorite restaurant.  It will be mostly family and a few friends.   This may sound like a dumb question but if I invite people to come for his birthday dinner then do I pay the bill.   I have been to dinners like this and where everyone contributed but I am not sure if that is proper etiquette.  Thanks!

thesuninherhead

Others might disagree, but I've never gone to a birthday dinner expecting to have my bill covered. 

btrflykate1230

When I go out to dinner with friends for someone's birthday, I pay for my own meal and pay for a portion of whomever's birthday we're celebrating. I would assume that's the way most people do it? 

Night_Sprite

I'd just phrase it as a get together instead of you throwing something.  Does that make sense?  Say something like, "We're getting together at blah restaurant at blah date and time.  I'm bringing cake so dessert is on me.  Let me know for numbers if you can come."

jasmineh7777

If I go to a birthday dinner, I plan on paying for myself.

shanwalk2

I would certainly expect to pay for my own meal. 

lyndausvi

In my group of friends we tend to pay our own way.  But it's not really an invitation as much as "Hey we are going to "X" on friday for DH birthday, do you want to come?"  If I recieved an actual invitation I would assume you are paying.  Does that make sense??

jamiefour

Thanks guys.  I thought so but you never know. 
Sprite-good suggestion I will prob do that with the cake!

JessAndTrav

We had a birthday gathering for DH at a restaurant. Nobody expected me to pay the bill.

Also, I've never gone to a birthday dinner and expected them to pay.

jamiefour

Lynda-What about an Evite that just said come get together for FI bday?

MyNameIsNot

The only birthday parties that I've been to where someone covered the dinner were 50th or whatever big birthdays where they send out invitations and stuff.  A phone call or an evite would lead me to believe that I'm covering my own meal.  

SaraAndrew2010

I'd expect to be covering my own meal at a birthday dinner unless it was a big, formal party.  For instance, if you had a private room reserved or sent formal invites, I would probably think you were paying for the party.

stina93446

I would plan on paying for myself if I were invited to a b day party as well as helping cover the cost of the bday person among the table.

adamnkel

I agree with PP that I always pay for my meal when I go out to dinner for B-days.

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fdce230e-10c4-4851-9a2d-58efb355b977Post:e5e061c6-0dc5-4004-91b1-f79c2f7cd4d5">Re: Advice-NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]The only birthday parties that I've been to where someone covered the dinner were 50th or whatever big birthdays where they send out invitations and stuff.  A phone call or an evite would lead me to believe that I'm covering my own meal.  
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]


This.  In our crowd, the invite/evite sender is responsible for finding out how many people are going & getting a table reserved that's big enough.  And maybe having a plan for where to go after dinner.  They are not obligated to pay any extra - just plan.

tenofcups4me

If I were inviting my family and/or friends to a dinner, I'd expect to pay for all the guests. But in DH's crowd, we all get togther often for birthday celebrations and each person pays for themselves -- and we usually chip in to pay for the birthday person too. Different crowds...different norms...