this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Bride helping to plan bachelorette, its ok?

smashfamoussmashfamous
10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I am having a destination Vegas bachelorette. My fiance and I are not having traditional wedding we will probably run away to mexico just the two of us. So the few girls I am inviting are not bridesmaids. My best friend is still my MOH no matter what......

I want to be involved with the planning, but it's such a big task. My best friend and I are not even working right now. I want to plan but it's hard. I keep seeing people say that the bride should not help plan. I don't see what's wrong with that.?  Thanks for your help.
"The only thing you ever really know, you know with your heart".
Report Reply to Post

Re: Bride helping to plan bachelorette, its ok?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    It's not really correct to plan your own party b/c it is a gift FOR you. Certainly you should be included in the input on the kind of party you want, but to actually help plan it goes against etiquette. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    It is never okay to plan a party in your own honor. I think if the host asks for ideas from the bride, that's okay though. But the bride shouldn't plan the party.
    Report Reply
  • Weezy56Weezy56 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bride-helping-to-plan-bachelorette-its-ok?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fdde23d2-7db0-4767-b1ff-58ef6d937314Post:152d4c7c-8be2-4654-8423-c554801fe995">Re: Bride helping to plan bachelorette, its ok?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It is never okay to plan a party in your own honor. I think if the host asks for ideas from the bride, that's okay though. But the bride shouldn't plan the party.
    Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]

    MissHart, this is totally off topic, but your sig pic is absolutley stunning!
    Report Reply
  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bride-helping-to-plan-bachelorette-its-ok?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fdde23d2-7db0-4767-b1ff-58ef6d937314Post:024cd539-3306-4d45-ada2-b90e1a988828">Re: Bride helping to plan bachelorette, its ok?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bride helping to plan bachelorette, its ok? : MissHart, this is totally off topic, but your sig pic is absolutley stunning!
    Posted by Weezy56[/QUOTE]



    Thank you. It is definitely one of my favorite. :)
    Report Reply
  • libby2483libby2483 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2013
    1) It is rude to invite people to pre-wedding parties if they are not invited to the wedding.  So, if you are eloping, you should actually forego any pre-wedding parties like showers or bachelorette parties.  

    2) A bachelorette party is a gift that someone throws in your honor, so it is rude to plan/host your own.  If someone has offered to throw you one, you can certainly give them ideas or input when they ask, but you shouldn't be taking a lead role in the planning.

    ETA: Based on your posts about this bachelorette party on three or four other boards, I would say that you need to take a step back from the planning and let whoever is throwing you the bachelorette party take the lead.  You shouldn't be sending out STDs or coordinating the activities and transportation (per your other posts) for your own party.  And again, if you are actually eloping just the two of you, you shouldn't be having a bachelorette party.
    Report Reply
  • yellowdaisies84yellowdaisies84 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with the above posts. I would skip the bachelorette party. If you want to have a fun weekend away with your girlfriends to celebrate your last year of "single-hood" go for it, (if you can all afford to!) but I wouldn't call it a bachelorette or expect anyone to do any special work for it or for any of it to centre around you. I hope you have fun but my advice is to tell your friends that you want it to be a weekend for all of you and just call it a girls weekend.

    "It's always better when we're together." -Jack Johnson
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Etiquette woud dictate that you invite anyone who is invited to bachelorette party to your wedding.  It sounds like you are planning to elope.  In that case, you would be forgoing the bachelorette party.  The party as PP have said is supposed to be in your honor and hosted by others.

    If you want to plan a girls weekend that is not a bachelorette party, you could certainly do that, but no wedding connection.
    Report Reply
  • smashfamoussmashfamous
    10 Comments
    Thanks for the feedback! I definitely want to celebrate it but I will just say girls weekend in Vegas.......
    "The only thing you ever really know, you know with your heart".
    Report Reply
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited January 2013
    A couple of things come to mind as I read your other posts about a bach party.  You say it is just the two of you going to Mexico to get married privately.  You also say your MOH is still your best friend no matter what.

    Being chosen to be a MOH is a way to honor a person who is very near and dear to you - the person you must have by your side as you get married.  You are not honoring her in such a way.  You are having her help you plan an expensive getaway (you mention wanting to rent a hummer limo in another post).  You also mention that neither one of you are working at the moment.  How on Earth are you honoring her by getting her to plan a party she obviously can't afford?  It is customary for SOME of the brides expenses to be covered at bach parties - like dinner and drinks.  If neither of you are working right now how responsibile is it to have something like that being planned?

    To answer your original question, you should have very very little to do with any bach party plans.  Your main focus should be making sure anyone invited is on the guest list, and making sure you decline any plans that are too expensive for any of the attendees.

    I'm really not trying to be snarky here, but I get the feeling you are very very young, and that you are looking at all of the dreamy eyed things associated with a wedding and not what is financially wise. 
    Report Reply
  • smashfamoussmashfamous
    10 Comments

    Thank you to the few people who said just call it a girls weekend, I really appreciate that.
    Nobody here knows me or my story, so for those of you who are unhappy in your marriage being rude isn't necessary.

    I came on here to ask, yes I expect peoples opinions and advice. Theres a way to go about it without being a B. My maid of honor talked about eloping herself, so you don't know the whole story. I have a firm grasp of reality and how much things cost, thats why I was trying to help with the planning. I wasn't trying to plan it myself, so thanks.

    I know there are good brides on here, thank you for your constructive comments

    "The only thing you ever really know, you know with your heart".
    Report Reply
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Rather high and mighty to be judging my marriage, aren't we?
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards