Wedding Etiquette Forum

Rehersal dinner etiquette?

So Im wondering what the proper etiquette is for the rehersal dinner, the mother of the groom wants to help pay/or pay for all the rehersal dinner but wants to have it all the way across town at a different church, so there can be a large bbq. Personally I think the dinner should be close to the church were having our rehersal at for convience of our guests. The groom is throwing his towel in bc he doesnt want to deal with conflict, but dont we get a say in it or does she run the show?

<a href="http://www.theknot.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Unique Wedding Ideas"><img src="http://global.theknot.com/tickers/ttadda2.aspx" alt="Wedding Countdown Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Rehersal dinner etiquette?

  • edited April 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehersal-dinner-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fe9f2810-3c09-4077-bee7-2fdbb362c482Post:c2342666-ecb9-46c4-a8be-aa17ea48ad7c">Rehersal dinner etiquette?</a>:
    <p>[QUOTE]So Im wondering what the proper etiquette is for the rehersal dinner, the mother of the groom wants to help pay/or pay for all the rehersal dinner but wants to have it all the way across town at a different church, so there can be a large bbq. Personally I think the dinner should be close to the church were having our rehersal at for convience of our guests. The groom is throwing his towel in bc he doesnt want to deal with conflict, but dont we get a say in it or does she run the show? [/QUOTE]</p><p>Out of curiousity, how far (driving wise) is 'all the way across town'?</p>
  • If she is paying, then she gets to have the location and how she wants.  Obviously, it would be ideal if she would do what works for everyone, but that isn't always the case.

    If you want to have the control on the planning, you shouldn't let her pay. :)
  • I agree with PP if you don't like where or what she is planning just say no thanks we will take care of it (pay for it).
  • Ditto Snips.

    Can you try to talk to her and see if there is something closer you can consider instead? If not, I would suck it up and pay for it yourselves.
  • I'm in the "pay for it yourself" camp, too.  I think it's really odd that she wants to use a different church's hall for it. 
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • I went to a rehearsal dinner in a different city than the wedding back in February, but they didn't actually have a rehearsal since there was no WP. How many guests do you have, by the way? I don't think going across town is so bad if it's only the WP and their dates plus you, your groom, and parents. If you're inviting out of town guests, they could just meet you at the bbq place since they don't need to be at the rehearsal.
    image
  • Ditto everyone else. If she pays, she has the say. How far is "across town"? If it's 15-20 min, I don't think that's a big deal at all. Maybe a little odd you're going from one church to another, but the distance wouldn't bug me. It would only bother me if it's over half an hour. Even then, if she is paying, she gets the final say.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
  • We're having our rehearsal all the way across town from the dinner. It's not a big deal unless the town you're in is Los Angeles. 
  • How far is all the way across town?








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Agree with PP. If you don't like how your FMIL is doing things then either don't have her pay for it and do it your way or find a common ground that you both can work with. As mentioned before, if across town is 15-20 min away, I don't think that's a big deal.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards