Ceremony ideas for Step Children

ishatag

My FI has two kids who will be 11 and 13 at the time of the wedding. I want to do something to acknowledge the fact that they are a part of our union beyond just being FG and RB. I had thought about getting a giant candle with 4 wicks and each of us lighting a wick... but I'm open to any ideas!

handfast4me

We've had many discussions about this on the Second Weddings board.  Personally, if it's a quick blessing for the entire family, it's OK.  But much beyond that, like the medallion ceremony, and vows between children and adults, well, it becomes creepy.   I understand the point about "becoming a family."  But what about the child's other birth parent?  Are they totally discounted now?   To me, the wedding is between the consenting adults, and where the entire focus needs to be.

duckie1905

I must agree with pp above.  The marriage is about you, not necessarily them.  Even though it does affect them significantly, a small blessing is about all I would suggest.  If you feel comfortable you can make them attendants but the fact remains is that they have a biological mother.

ishatag

Ha! I looked all over in ceremony ideas and in customs and traditions board... I never thought to look at the 2nd weddings board because it's not my second wedding. :P I will check that out. I'm not trying to adopt the kids - I consider their mom a friend as is her second husband. I just wanted to acknowledge the kids in some way. I agree vows are creepy! Anyways, I'm gonna go check out the 2nd wedding board.

ishatag

His 11 specifically asked to be FG. I would never say no to that! 13yo will be more of an usher, escorting both Granmothers to their seats before joining BM at Dad's side. As for the ceremony elements, I've decided just to go with a blessing and save any symbolic gestures for a private family time. Thanks for all the thoughts!